TRIGGER WARNING: Anti-blackness, the use of slurs including the N word (it is bleeped but still intense). Homophobia and biphobia in the form of 'opinions'.
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"Racism died with Gen X, let me prove it by being racist" is certainly a choice

I have never understood the argument that "I can't be racist because I'm dating/married to someone Black, Latino, or Asian."

If that were true then no straight man would be sexist.

If you date someone that is sexist, racist, ablist,  or transphobic, you personally are not an ally. Because you are not a safe space, your social circle is not a safe space.

It shouldn't be exclusively the job of the marginalized to convince fascists of their humanity. Allyship is calling out bigotry even when it doesn't affect you.

Addition around the beginning: Another thing to be concerned about with the "black people can turn racists non-racist if they try hard enough" is it puts the hard part on Black people to change someone rather than putting the work on racists to actively learn and do better. How unfair and unsafe is that??

The n word double standard discourse always makes me laugh because people who bring it up tend to throw out the historical context and just focus on it "not being fair".

I'm not dating anyone that hates me or my friends. I don't even want to be around family members that are bigots, no way would I tolerate that in some dude.

The way (cis) men publicly treat trans women is how they privately think of cis women usually. But also in general, if they're racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc, there's a high chance they're sexist also.

As a black woman with a white husband, i genuinely dont understand how this happens 😭 wdym your husband says the N word and makes race jokes and you still chose to marry him… he literally has no respect for you or your black family. For me it was also non negotiable that my man was not transphobic or homophobic either. We have gay friends and we dont know if our kids will be LGBTQ, so hate of oppressed groups is not something i can tolerate.

my father (white) believes racism doesn't exist because "by law, everyone is equal"..

I once heard someone say: Racism in America is like standing on a moving walkway at the airport. The system is pulling you in toward white patriarchal capitalism. If you simply stand still, doing nothing, you are being carried deeper into white supremacy. Even if conscious efforts are made to continually examine and unlearn a lifetime of racial and sexist biases, ie choosing to walk in the opposite direction, the momentum of the walkway of survival in American capitalism is still exploitation and pulls us towards white masculine supremacy.

I dated a woman who I came to learn is "afraid of immigrants". I got out of there so damn fast. I'm too old to be educating adults on why that's incredibly problematic.

I used to have a friend who's bf joked about calling a black man the N word when he was working bc he was "being annoying" or whatever and she thought it was so quirky of him. I do not talk to this person anymore.

My ex tried to gaslight me to befriend his racist friend with so many of the strategies you talked about in this video 💀

Keeping the peace is fertile ground for injustice.

If you're keeping the peace in a relationship, you're sitting in a nest of injustice that might blow up in your face. It's a tragic and beautiful thing that we can love bad people, because we're almost universally hopeful that people will do better.

But loving them should not be enabling, you're not encouraging people to change if you don't put your foot down and have firm boundaries. Sometimes it means you have to part ways with people for almost ever for them to get better.

The only person you should keep peace with is yourself and your grounded embodied values.

Fun Fact: The First Amendment protects your speech from A GOVERNMENT, from violating your right to criticize it, freedom of expression, religion, etc. It's NOT freedom to say slurs openingly in public, that's called accountability and private companies are not obligated to protect a liability such as a white woman screaming the n-word on public radio. Shout out CeroTV, who reminded me of that fact when he spoke on Chud The Builder.

My ex did this. She dated a racist man and only left him when he cheated on her, they really don’t care until it affects them. I broke up with her immediately after I found out

I'm a 'white' man in what is often referred to as a mixed race relationship. I was already very anti-racist when we started dating but it's still a looooooong journey deconstructing the BS we're brainwashed with from birth. The lessons never end. Unfortunately it's inevitable you have to cut off friends and family, at least see them a lot less than you used to. People start expressing opinions they used to keep to themselves a lot more, but also you've got to be hyper vigilant and take notice when things you might have let slide before happen, especially the micro aggressions.

Had ex call me the n-word and Asian slurs to me because in an argument. It’s like I woke up that day. Realising that you’re dating a racist is something else.

I realise how he used to say “doesn’t matter how many times you straighten your hair it won’t make you Japanese enough.” Idk how I let it slide because he knew I was born and raised there. He even used to make fun of my accent with his friends. I felt to stupid and relieved.