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ariana grande & the conversation we’re not allowed to have

raya

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in today’s video, we’re talking about #arianagrande 's #eternalsunshinetour & the wave of concern that followed her return to the stage: why the conversation around her appearance has become so charged, so polarised, and so hard to even have without it immediately turning into a fight

what happens when we refuse to talk about what we are all clearly seeing? not just in relation to ariana, but in a wider culture that keeps swinging between silence and extremes whenever women’s bodies are involved in public discourse

this is a messy conversation & i don’t think there is a perfect way to have it, but i do think avoiding it entirely doesn’t make it disappear, so let's have a chat!
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🍿 timestamps:
0:00 - ariana grande: eternal sunshine, eternal denial
6:49 - ariana: the victim & the perpetrator
11:21 - bigger impact
17:43 - cycle repeating itself: karen carpenter, taylor swift & calista flockhart
21:34 - the conversation needs to continue
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🎥 more videos:
why Americans can't cancel influencers: Video
our obsession with aging & beauty: it’s ok to look your age, i promise
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🗞️ sources:
https://www.thefp.com/p/in-wicked-the...
https://www.tampabay.com/archive/2000...
https://www.theguardian.com/books/201...
https://variety.com/2026/music/news/a...
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alternative titles for the algo:
ariana grande & the conversation people keep shutting down
we need to talk about ariana grande
ariana grande, and the conversation we’re not allowed to have
we’ve seen this before (and it didn’t end well)
why this conversation matters more than you think
the cycle we keep repeating (ariana grande)
ariana grande & why we need to keep talking about this
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20 Comments

@blackteanosugarrr Creator 3 months ago Pinned

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@mari_4n4 3 months ago

She's skinnier now than in wicked era, which is scary asf, cause she was already very skinny, i hope she gets well soon

@lazylovebird 3 months ago

i did not crawl out of 2010s ED culture and spend years trying to heal my relationship with food/my body just for another generation of girls to have to deal with the same thing, only dressed up differently

@deanwinchesterproblems 3 months ago

Seeing body positivity be hijacked to defend eating disorders and silence conversations around their harm is so fucking bonkers and also the most 2020s thing imaginable. We're in the era of denying the truth in front of our faces, apparently.

@4m4777 3 months ago

A few weeks ago I was really worried about my heart condition and I was asking my cardiologist for reassurance, as ‘sudden death’ is a rare complication that can happen as a result of it, he told me ‘well you’ve already survived anorexia, and the risk of sudden death with that is 40x higher’

That answer changed my brain chemistry. I had been struggling with food at the time, and that sentence alone convinced me to never let myself slip back into it again.

@zuan1377 3 months ago

i think we forget her Pro Ana Tumblr days. This girl is deep in it

@filmgrrrls 3 months ago

ed attacks the heart and can be fatal. people are absolutely delusional because they think genuine concern is attacking their favourite celebrity😭

@VirginiaJules 3 months ago (edited)

she is literally dying in front of us and yet there are people who want us to stay quiet. she may BELIEVE she is healthy, but that doesn't mean she is.
(edited for clarity)

@xxheart_breakerxx8732 3 months ago

There is a video from a German YouTuber who’s talking to people with various illnesses. He also meets with an anorexic woman and she seems so happy and lively in the video, even talks about wanting to get better and they end with planning a part 2. part 2 happened with her parents, because only few weeks after the first interview she died. Went to vacation with a friend, they had a nice day and in the afternoon she asked her friend to sleep next to her because she feels like dying, which she did. Fell asleep, didn’t wake up. I can’t believe people don’t understand that a body just dies at some point. Anorexic people don’t run on Energy, they run on the sheer will of a body to live until there is nothing left

@dibutler9151 3 months ago

I'm 60 yrs old and have known a LOT of women with EDs. Not a single one of them that suffered with them from a young age and weren't able to get them under control and keep it under control, are alive today. Not a single one of them, (one was one of my very best friends), made it into their 40s. Please, if you are suffering now, please get help. You can do it! You really can!

@Toni-dj9ue 3 months ago

Thank you for remembering Karen Carpenter. EDs are complicated and contagious.
When AG looks at her reflextion she doesn't see what we see.

@panajotov 3 months ago

I lost a friend who was 44 and struggled with anorexia for decades. She looked 30 years older than she was, so you can just imagine the state of her physical and mental health at that time. Miraculously, she got pregnant (no one could believe it) and had a child seven years before she passed. Not even that child could have saved her.

ED is a serious problem. Anorexia kills. Please keep discussing about this topic, and thank you.

@GeminiDraws 3 months ago

I think we should also change the words we use. Instead of doll, say frail or weak or wasting away. Saying doll and such makes it sound romantic and it's part of aesthetic they are going for

@thewitchgoddess. 3 months ago (edited)

She mentioned on the Amy Pohler interview that she has been shooting the next Fockers movie immediately after Wicked, in which she plays a marathon runner. So she has been doing extreme cardio post Wicked in relation to the role, and is now touring. I immediately thought-“this will be the PR justification for what seems to be strategic career-calculated ED behavior”. And here we are. Months later. Shows how deeply the behavior and frailty is being facilitated and enabled by teams and an industry.

@ally_mattie 3 months ago

Karen Carpenter died. Have we forgotten that? It’s an illness with an extremely high mortality rate and extreme health complications long term if you survive. Concern is not making fun of someone. I’m worried for the lives of these women and for the fans they serve as role models for.

@coldmirrorfan41 3 months ago

I used to struggle with anorexia as a teen 7 years ago. I was very underweight and I managed to overcome it completely. The past years I ate whatever I wanted, never counted calories and just rolled my eyes when someone went on a strict diet for no reason. I felt happy in my body. I was shocked seeing the videos of Ariana last week at the first show. She looked way too thin.

But the more I scrolled, the more the lines blurred. I saw comments from fans saying that she looks healthy and good. The more comments I read, the more I doubted my perception. She can still sing and perform - so is she healthy? Is her body a healthy body? Isn't being thin nice? Are the bones supposed to be so clearly visible?

Have I become too fat?

I'm objectively on the lower end of a normal weight, but idk anymore. I feel ugly. Yesterday morning I found myself downloading a calorie tracker app and not eating my usual snacks.

I deleted the app now and I try to not read comments about her anymore. This is absolutely insane. If I relapsed so easily, easier and faster than falling asleep, then what is happening to other people who struggle with ED?? What is happening to young girls who see her??

This is the last video I'll watch about this topic, I will block any related words on social media and try to scroll past when I see her. It chills me how fast this anorexia mindset reappears. Stay safe everyone

@emily_8687 3 months ago

I will always appreciate Nicole Richie, who was a major it girl in the 2000s, outright saying that she was too thin due to an disclosed health issue and not wanting young girls to look up to her as a role model for health. I don't know if a current celebrity would be willing to make a similar statement.

@chanellemartin5463 3 months ago

The problem w the internet is that we share it with kids who don't have developed critical thinking and the capacity to hold nuance without falling into dichotomous thinking. You could be making the most compelling arguments, but because the recipient is 13, they'll never get it.

@empressfreya9872 3 months ago

What bothers me is that a lot of people don't seem to put her words into the context of an ed. When you're deep in the pit of anorexia, saying "the body you considered me healthy with was my unhealthiest and I was eating poorly at the time" can literally just mean her not seeing herself as skinny and eating three proper meals a day. Like I had friends and coworkers complain to me about their "poor eating behaviors" and when I asked them what they meant it's about eating a single cookie instead of a baby carrot.
What she defines as healthy, when she's clearly changed drastically in the span of two years, is not the same thing the general public defines it as

@sparo_art 3 months ago

ED people LIE. WE LIE ABOUT IT. Actually, we can get way too good at it. I think there's the misunderstanding that EDs are still for attention. EDs are usually about controlling things, I often compared my state back then as an addict. There is just something about your brain that is constantly focused on it. I don't like to take someone's word and say they are lying buuuut... Yeah