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0:09 1: feeling safe
2:18 2: you laugh together
2:40 3: generosity
3:55 4: calling you out on your stuff, privately
5:33 5: agreed on what a well-lived life looks like

"There's no one busier than someone who is not entirely interested in you." Boom.

"There's nobody busier than somebodys whos not interested"

Im realizing this now but it is, what it is.

I need to start valuing me rather than putting them on a pedestal. They didn't have what I needed. They even admitted it. I was self-delusional.

i really like someone you can laugh with

Good luck making someone with unresolved familial and relational trauma consistently feel safe. People need to work on developing their own inner sense of safety as well--it should not be entirely outsourced to a partner.

Someone that is giving with intimacy.  When they reject for years they don't deserve more chances.

Yes! Just met someone who puts my nervous system into Zen mode✨and who is generous with his time. I got a great vibe from him since our first conversation.

So good Jillian!  When my marriage ended I had many well meaning friends talk to me about dating and red flags. It was boggling and misleading at how many there were and what they meant.

I decided early on I’d be seeking green flags while demonstrating mine.

As an example, tough conversation about past hurts have a way of coming up or out. I’ve noticed in women when they retreat or freeze or get quiet. And I’ve paused and allowed and encouraged them to share where they’re at. A few women have been able to articulate, “When you said/asked about X it made me feel Y. I’m not saying you did anything wrong but it gave me pause to think.”  

Ironically, some of these red flags I was to look out for were her having/expressing negative emotions. My paise gave her the space to communicate and her ability to articulate where/how that emotion came up is a green flag.

Not only a green flag, but the initial presentation would have labeled it a red flag if that’s all I was looking for.

Slow down…still the best advice for both men and women.

More green flags please and how to build on them

That is a solid, balanced list. Thank you!

Thank you Jessica Day

Wow! This is really it. Thank you for summaring this so correctly, it gives an overview.

I've had these 5 signs many times, I call it the friendzone 🤣

For me, feeling safe is directly linked to playfulness. Generosity also extends to seeing the best in someone, so it is easier to challenge them a kind way. And it is critical to agree on what a life well-lived looks like.

I recently connected with someone who met all 5 of these flags. It seemed to have long-term potential.

He bailed after 4 months.

Jillian.. I’m so thankful to have found your channel.    Reflecting upon my life, my avoidance in relationship … I am triggered by a lot of the insights and information you present… a lot of tears for sure, but part of the process working on myself
                  THANK YOU…

Let's fall in love already, I'll be waiting 😊

Phenomenal!! It seems like a labour of love.. and I'm really excited to play around with it! 😍

Yeah me and my ex had .5 out of 5 which explains a lot.