1. You're physically attracted to them
2. They're reliable
3. How do they treat people (e.g. the waiter)
4. Somebody who makes you feel good about yourself
5. Calm, specially during conflict, and wants to listen to you
6. Asks you big and open-ended questions
7. Self-discloses, honest and has humility.
8. Willing to take responsibility for what they do
9. Wants to know your stressors and emotionally supportive (empathetic)
10. Wants to support you in what you love to do

You also have to become that person, not only expect someone else to be.

11. A person who has the personal integrity and good intentions for you to kindly call you out when you are wrong.

You described my wife of 44 years 100 percent before she died of cancer.

Guys! I found a KEEPER! 😊🥰☺️

I agree with all that, but you also need to be on the same page about your values, future, etc. A successful relationship is more than a checklist. It’s a journey you're on together, and if you're not going to the same general destination…

This describes my sweet husband ❤

Never met anyone with all of these qualities.  I am 59.

Honestly, you could take this as how to find a good partner, but the real throughline here is this is also how to BE a good partner.

1. Physical attraction. Usually within 20 mins, you'll realize this.

2. They're reliable and keep in touch properly.

3. How do they treat the servers in the restaurant? You want someone who treats everyone with kindness and respect.

4. Makes you feel attractive and how they make you think about yourself positively.

5. A person who is calm. Someone who wants to hear your point of view also including in conflict

6. A person who asks you questions about yourself. Thry keep wanting to know who you are

7. Someone who self discloses and is really honest both about that flaws, strengths and failures.

8. A person who wants to know what your stresses are. Asks you what happened today to understand what is stressful for you so that they can empathize with you.

9. Somebody who isn't totally compatible with you. A keeper is a person who wants to support you with what you want to do.

He checks all of these, and I’m grateful every single day.

If dating a Narcissist...they do all this when they date you..after the commitment, it quickly changes...

"What a lot of fun" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Good one! Very funny

I think this is true of good friends too

It's really complicated when it's someone who turns out to be a fearful avoidant. I think coming back to this list after the relationship progresses is important, because there are certain types who show up one way in the relationship initially, but it errodes over time. There were more signs before that, but it was so confusing, I didn't understand. I would now though.

And...we must be a person with these qualities as well

Thank you for your decades of research and work!!! This world is much better because of it! ❤

Physical attraction is important.. A lot of people place too much importance on it and ignore character and things like that, So online coaches have started focusing more on character and things like that.
But the reverse impact of that is that sometimes we ignore things like physical attraction, which really does matter. After listening to all these coaches, I married a friend I was not attracted to and trust me it is miserable.

I love this. Super helpful

EMPATHY. HONESTY. SUPPORT. RESPONSIBILITY. LOYALTY.