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"30 minutes or it's free" ... We really did used to live in a real civilization.

Gotta love how everything ties back to the Cheese Caves

Dear chubby electron guy; not one of us has ever forgotten about the cheese caves.

“YOU’RE GONNA END UP ON A STEADY DIET OF GOVERNMENT CHEESE, and living in a VAN, down by the river!!!”

“Wait it’s all THE CHEESE CAVES?!?”
racks .45
“Always was”

Nic at home: "Hey kids, tonight's dinner is research."
Kids: "Yay, pizza!"

As a Marine, I actually know people who joined the Marines accidentally, that exact same way. So, yes, that is one of the most Marine things a Marine can do. And note I said PEOPLE, not a person or “this one guy.”

Private equity has been the worst thing for humanity in recent history.

A close friend went to work as an independent trucking contractor for the original Domino’s ownership. He literally was able to nearly become a millionaire back then from the fact that they paid their supply chain vendors so well if they either hit or exceeded their supply expectations. As soon as the big sale went through the first place that was focused in on to shave costs and improve profit was the supply chain. He saw the writing on the wall and was able to sell his small fleet of trucks and within 3 years that company completely shifted from 100% Dominos freight to completely off of Dominos freight altogether.

Nothing in the business world has made more wealth and more poverty at the exact same time than private equity companies. 🧐

12 million of government money got me a cheesier pizza? Probably the best boondoggle ever.

I’m a trucker and have picked up several loads of various products in the Springfield Caves. It’s freaking incredible, like a damn underground city complete with a railway system. Driving my happy ass around in a cave in an 18 wheeler. It mind blowing the first time. Kinda got use to it after a while.

Our government cheesy as hell. At this point I'm convinced fort Knox is full of cheese because they ran out of room in the caves.

Delivering pizza on time is very important. Even spiderman got fired for not making his deliveries on time.

Pizza Hut is also failing because their phone ordering system has people who can barely speak understandable English operating from call centers instead of someone answering at the local Pizza Hut location directly.

And now you know where the "Beef, it's what's for dinner" came from.

It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize the noid is called the noid because when your pizza is late you get annoyed. A noid.

Using money to convince a private equity firm that spending a little money will make them a lot more money is a huge achievement unlocked. It just took their language - money.

Avoid The Noid.  Then The Noid shows up with a .357.  "See?!  This is why you avoid The Noid!"

Damn, the Dominick’s Pizza Beetle must be worth millions.