Chuckesmee is a horror icon

Was anyone bitterly upset when she gave birth and it wasn’t a murder machine? Because the book heavily promised a murder machine and it lied to me.

"The iconic scene of Dakota Fanning throwing a child into a fire" Honestly... Yeah

"Is Stephanie okay?" lol. I remember reading this book and thinking the whole time that it was sending some really weird Freudian things about Stephanie's feelings about sex and marriage and motherhood. Vampire babies ripping their ways out of your body so they can fast forward through all the child parts of childhood so they can prematurely reach bangable age to satisfy the spare side of your love triangle. It's so strange.

I always felt really bad for Leah, not only did her boyfriend imprint on someone else... He imprinted on her cousin 💀

To those that don't know. All bodily fluids produced by vampires is venom. So that baby was made out of poison and an egg. That's what I'm using as the canon reason for why Renesmé looks like that at first.

"You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness monster?!"
Well, yeah, after the crappy name YOU gave her, what was he supposed to do? Call her Renny?

Honestly Bella loosing her shit at Jacob when she realizes he's imprinted on her daughter is my favorite bit

Whenever people talk about vampire ability to reproduce I like to point to the fact that technically the vampires are supposed to be bloodless, so how would Edward even, well, get it up?

One thing I was always confused about was Jacob claiming that his attraction to Bella was due to her carrying a piece of Chuckesmee in her. If that was true, then wouldn’t he had been attracted to Edward too??? 🤨

Nothing will ever be as funny as interviews with Roberr Pattinson on the subject of the Twilight franchise.

If Edward didn’t want to hurt Bella he should have had her on top

The real reason vampires don't procreate-- they need permission to come inside.

I did ugly-laugh at the way Bella grabbed Jacob by the scruff of his neck to drag him out of the house, like a dog :D

Robert Pattinson really managed to find every single flaw in this series and I live for it.

It also sucks in the books how no one gives Leah any sympathy for what she's going through.

“I’m not team Jacob and pregnancy frankly disgusts me”
immediately likes video

Edward looking like he just finished an order of bbq ribs will forever be the highlight of breaking dawn

Edward: I'm so smart and good at everything because of not having sex all night

Me, an asexual: plays sims until 2am on a Friday night

Wolves “grooming” humans. How the tables have turned...