Being suppressed by family and school for your entire childhood and never getting to have any gay friends just leaves us damaged in adulthood. I’d love to see young gay males being themselves at a young age and not having to wait till their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s

3 dates a year! I'm still waiting for the first one.

Big problem is constant app addictions. Guys claim they ain't addicted but they are. They find one flaw and move to the next.

Giving 500 bucks to someone you've never met is just wild to me.

Being in a sex Addicted community in a small pool with exaggerated expectations means it is instrumentally more difficult to find a meaningful connection sadly...

We all come with baggage. I had a good friend for 50 years. He’s been single most of his life. He’s 62.  He used to be a social butterfly but after his father passed 20 years ago he’s become a loner.  He said he’ll probably be single the rest of his life. He’s set in his ways and has never learned how to compromise. Yes, I know, that’s the reason he’s single. I feel bad for him because even though he’s okay being single i haven’t seen him happy in a long time.

I'm 41, never had a relationship but had plenty of hookups and some dates and flings along the way. I'm about to stop using all apps. They are all ineffective from my experience, especially after I hit 40. I'm old and invisible now. But I am not into the "gay scene" or bars. I am not into groups like sports, hiking or whatever. All of my interests are solitary. I'm out of ideas. The bottom line is that most guys I'm interested in are not interested in me and most guys that are interested in me. I'm not interested in. That's just the way it is.

I wanna add something: don't panic and unmatch when you're asked out. If I had a dollar for every time I had a great conversation with a guy who seemed engaged and when I ask them out, they panic and leave.
Also, maybe put in effort. 9/10 when times I actually get a response, it's one word answers every few days.

I'm in a horrible situation myself. I was working on myself pre-covid (in hindsight I was more than ready to date with a happy mindset, new house, defined body, etc...), then Covid hit and my personal circumstances forced me into living alone for the first time, overnight (healthcare worker previously living with a vulnerable parent). The downward spiral then began, anxiety & low mood led to depression and addiction. I'm functional and improving slowly, and from the outside, no one would know the state I'm in. A partner would help massively to give me focus, indirect support (I don't expect them to fix my issues), and a reason to fight and carry on. I've always been the textbook; loving, caring, generous, thoughtful, affectionate, romantic, etc...but introverted meaning I rarely met any guys to date. So I've ended up in a worse situation than I've ever been in and the temptation to take 'drastic' action and say goodbye forever grows stronger every day.
In short, I've fought and fought but have now ran out of energy. A partner giving me a reason to fight harder would be ideal, but who wants to take on a partner like me...

Going up the idea that there’s someone for everyone is freeing.

HAPPILY SINGLE SOLO HERE ☝🏾

My husband and I were I the Eagle in SFO on our first trip. It was 00:30 Saturday morning in 2002. The place should have been packed. It was my husband, the bartender, and I. I asked "Where the hell is evertbody?" He said that they were all  clitty-clacking on the internet trying to hook up. I said  "They'll learn. In this life, you have to see what you're buying before you buy it." I lived Milwaukee when Dahmer went down.

I have always felt the "inner child" psycholocal model to be infantile.

I'm 49 now and I've never dated more than a few weeks - and that was decades ago.
Based on the other comments I'm in the same boat. I thought life would improve after I came out at 18, but it didn't.
The gay "community" made me feel invisible which crushed me. That rejection was just a continuation of my youth, except these were the people I was supposed to "click" with. 31 years in solitude now. Hookups aren't my thing. I haven't tried dating in the last 15 years. I haven't even had sex in the last 6 years.
I live alone with my cat, no family and no friends.
After reading some of the comments, I also noticed the only guys that ever expressed interest in me were the ones I wasn't interested in. Isn't that strange?

Ive just given up. It's so impossible to date. After hundreds of failed  first dates I've realized I'm just gonna be single for life.

My biggest problem is that I’m gay/demisexual and I live in a relatively sparsely populated area. All the gay men I’ve met or even just briefly come into contact with have been nothing but the “stereotypical gay guy” who just wanted sex. But I’m not interested in just having sex.

I don’t have the option to move, so I’m stuck in this situation. Maybe things will change someday, but right now, there’s no telling.

Thanki you so much.  Can't wait to use teh discussion cards.  What a perfect response to a HUGE need!  <3

"Be honest on the apps" but the problem is the apps.
Hopefully moving out of a homophobic area soon so I can try to meet people organically

Very helpful info. Thanks for this!

I love your content - thanks so much for all you do for our community.