I think one thing gay men struggle with is restraint. Just because you feel horny doesn’t mean hooking up will make you feel better. If you base your life around superficial culture (looks, money etc) you are destined to feel empty.

The irony of being gay is we should celebrate each other because we have a common struggle- instead, it’s a hyper judgmental community that hides its trauma behind a lot of superficial materialism and fake friends. Even the hottest guys are basically just performing a role to stay relevant and be accepted by their friends. It’s no coincidence that gays feel so lonely. The internet has also made people feel like everyone else is doing better than they are, but it’s a phony facade. Until we love ourselves we will never attract positive energy that heals. We can do better. We came together during the AIDS crisis and we can do it again.

Being gay my straight friends accept and love me more than gay men.

I'm 55 Single Since 2003 (my 1st and Only BF/Husband of 7 yrs Died), No Friends & Always all alone 😢

Y’all are conventionally pretty asf, I wanna hear gays who aren’t conventionally attractive who aren’t showing their face on social media because they are so insecure.

I'm 72 years old and I live with my husband. We have been together 47 years and he's 78. He's extremely disabled and I have to take care of him. Outside of TV and eating dinner he doesn't have a lot to live for. He just has a very poor quality of life and so do I.... we just got a hospital bed for him and he's getting out of rehab soon.

And I must say, even though I have him in my life sometimes I feel lonely.  Just hearing other people talking about the subject makes me feel that we are not alone.

I mean hook up culture only seems to get worse and worse

"Loneliness crisis?" Or loneliness GIFT?
It doesn't have to suck. I've been doing it for like 30 years.

All of society is in this fucked up situation because of two things… cell phones and social media. Full stop.

I think some of us just want to feel normal and not the "special" one.

I worried about being "old and lonely" when I was young.  The good news is that, now that I'm here, it's not so bad.  Maybe because I've been lonely all my adult life, so I'm used to it. :))

As a gay man, its really difficult making friends, relationships are out of the picture, in my area people barely continiue speaking to me after i soft launch that i am gay, its sad but in my case it made me stronger as a person, hope everyone out there is safe!

71 year old Michigan guy.   Lone Wolf here too.

OMG the 49-year-old guy on the TikTok got to me. He had tears in my eyes. I'm not alone and feel so grateful. I think loneliness has to be one of the worst things a human can be. I just wanted to give the guy a hug. We do feel lonely though because being gay is isolating so I do get it. I'm now going to put my hard hat before saying the next thing. I think being desperate to be in a relationship is unhelpful. You can give off this aura of being desperate. No one wants that. The times I've gotten into a relationship they all happened by chance. Never when I was in the gay bar thinking why does no one want me did I ever get into a relationship.

Suffered through this. Now in my 60s I've given up, but I'm not unhappy. Have thrown myself into relationships with very old friends, work, my cats, and my spiritual life. But some days I still wonder what happened: why did a real intimate relationship not happen for me? Just not my path I guess. Most of my friends have been with straight men, straight women, and lesbians. Gay men were most often for sex. So that is part of the problem I'm sure. But it also gave me a life outside the gay community--though I still live dead center of a large LGBTQ+ urban area--and I can enjoy gay scenes without feeling trapped in them.

I’m 65. It’s such a difficult balance between being the empowered lone wolf by choice, and the social fatigue that sets in after having the experience of being part of a community, but not feeling connected to that community, and observing all the mean girl behavior (of course there are kind people too - not everyone is mean, but they are hard gems to find); it’s sometimes easier not to subject yourself to it. Or when you do, glad it’s over and at least you tried. It’s a real conundrum, and I appreciate the ones like this podcast that are actually talking about it.

i have ended up with 6 border collies as i was lonely

Alone vs loneliness big difference 💪🏾💯

I agree about going to the gay bar. I used to own the bars, now I don’t feel comfortable going.  1) I really don’t drink anymore and 2) I don’t have the confidence like I used to.  Confidence is key at making or breaking situations.

Grindr ruined our culture. Also conditional hyper focused sexuality. It also seemed like the more we were culturally accepted. The lazier and more stupid we became.