"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever." is fucking genius

"His face looked as if a man and a woman had a baby" is still my favourite of all time

The vocabulary one was actually perfect.

“they were like two hummingbirds that also hadnt met” 😭

Analogies are supposed to be immediately understandable. With that logic all of these are peak

Number 9 is brilliant and I'll die on that hill, like one of those soldiers that fought at the Battle of Bunker Hill and died.

unironically I'd read an entire book written like this

The "tall as a 6'3" tree" line sounds like something you'd see in a Douglass Adams novel

Friendly reminder that these were submissions to a bad analogy contest in the Washington Post and are deliberately humorous

“Like a fart in the wind, he disappeared into the night”

number 4 is actually a good one, horrifies me every time jeopardy comes on 30 minutes too early

0:48 is insane

You missed the last three, which are as follows:

13. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

14. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

15. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

This is just the inner monologue of a film noir detective. I could do for an entire movie of just this

The one my teacher gave us included "He fell 10 stories and hit the pavement like a paper bag full of vegetable soup."

0:10 that wasn't an analogy, that was a stoner saying like for no reason

I love people who write analogies like that. Makes it more fun to read too.

her "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever" is peak tho

What do you mean "really bad", these analogies are perfect

1:43 as a professional lamp enthusiast with exactly 281 lamps, I can confirm that is what lamps usually do in their spare time!