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How Trauma Keeps You Disconnected Without Realizing It

Tim Fletcher

117,616 views

Sometimes the hardest part of recovery isn’t the pain itself.. it’s noticing when we’ve silently slipped back into disconnection. We shut down, go on autopilot, or bury ourselves in distractions, all while convincing ourselves we’re “fine.” Learning to catch those subtle warning signs can mean the difference between staying on the path of healing and falling back into old survival patterns.

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#disconnection #selfidentity #complextrauma #mentalhealthrecovery #healingjourney #cptsd #childhoodtrauma

See the original livestream: Recovery Dangers - Part 6/10 - Disconnecti...

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Tim Fletcher is not a doctor or licensed therapist; he is a counsellor in Canada and has worked with people with Complex Trauma and Addiction for decades. Tim’s videos are for informational purposes only to provide understanding, learning, and awareness about complex trauma. No information published here can replace professional evaluation, diagnosis, or treatment.

20 Comments

@HailDanielle 9 months ago

You’re helping people who otherwise don’t have access to proper therapy. Thank you

@mariesmith5670 1 year ago

Instead of drugs and alcohol, I just kind of freeze and spend a lot of time in bed or online and neglecting real life. I think it’s the same as drugs and alcohol, but it just doesn’t damage your body as much. You still miss life though.

@nancyphillion1799 11 months ago

Survival skills in childhood become a negative in adulthood.

@abbywoolfson584 1 year ago

😢 boy. I'm disappointed this information wasn't available in the 80's. I would have been able to be aware of what was going on at a much younger age. The regrets of not knowing and how it's affected important people in my life is very difficult to live out.

@Michael-v8p8f 11 months ago

Alot of us Gen X kids were abused and neglected by parents. I recognize all of these things he's talking about. Parents rejected and mocked me and told me to "grow up" instead of expressing emotions and experiencing life naturally.

@ginavillano7410 1 year ago

It’s not only alcohol and drugs that you try to fill the void! Shopaholic, codependency, sex and many other obsessions! IMO

@CWx2s 1 year ago

So true. I think this is what cost me relationships. I couldn't talk about things that were bothering me and I would disconnect, hoping that I would get over it.

@a11severson 1 year ago

You explain perfectly the past 40 years of my life. It’s taken so many years to realize how disconnected I was…with help from my therapist I’m beginning to discover who I am.

@meganmcpherson3292 11 months ago

All these maladaptive ways of coping are basically just ways to avoid vulnerabilty. Thats the crux of it all. A deep fear of vulnerability.

@Matias74799 1 year ago

I scape into overeating. It is insanely difficult to overcome. Sad stuff

@Jim-t6v 1 year ago

One thing that might help someone with childhood CPTSD is to look back and try to think - When did I start to realize I couldn't trust my mother or my father? At the time you probably didn't realize it - but your inner self started doubting your safety and security. Think about it and mull it over - and it might help you get some clarity. It's a place to start if you need one. Thank you..

@Cassie-pt7mt 1 year ago

I feel deactivated. I just feel as if my emotions are switched off.

@aprilpryor2332 1 year ago

I think teachers should take a course in CPTSD before engaging with students. Don't assume kids are being lazy or lacking discipline when they're just trying to survive. You're making it worse.

@mgn1621 1 year ago

I don’t remember trying to form a bond with my mother….the disconnect happened so young. And I am now in my mid 60’s and still working on healing and repair.

@EmilyT-c3t 1 year ago

Me right now going through my healing journey

@mariaboyd7380 1 year ago

Disconnecting from your pain is a form of self mechanism.

@williamsmith5049 11 months ago

I grew up in an abusive home where I was beaten severely with a leather belt on bare skin, and then joined the military and was in one of the less common but still existing, at least in 2001, severely abusive platoons on Parris Island. It's taken me over 20 years of fighting the guilt and shame to finally do something. In some ways, things have been more difficult but there's light at the end of the tunnel.