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Brainwashed Mormon Mommies?

Alyssa Grenfell

815,326 views

I was trained to be a TradWife as my divine role from Mormon God. I was dreaming of marriage and babies when I was still a baby myself.

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A few resources I mention in the video:

*Why I left the Mormon Church: https://www.mormontruths.com/why-i-le...
Entirety of the Personal Progress Manual: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/s...
Proclamation to the Family document: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/s...
Sweet Spirit Song: Sweet Spirit a ballad by Sons of Provo/Eve...
More art by Hayley Labrum Morrison: https://www.hayley.co/offthebody
Mormon Disney Obsession BYU Piece: https://universe.byu.edu/2022/02/02/o...
New “equality minded” Mormon youth lesson: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/s...
Mormon leader speech about breaking up with a girl for having one pair of earrings: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/s...

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A few videos that may interest you:
*My Mormon endowment explained video: (Secret Mormon Temple Ceremony Explained (W...)
*Mormon garments explained video: (Mormon Garments Explained)
*Every rule I followed as a Mormon: (Every Rule I Followed as a Mormon (Coffee ...)
*My Mormon mission was a waste: (Mormon Missions Explained (Why I Regret My...)
*Complete story of my Mormon wedding: (Mormon Temple Weddings Explained (Sorry, Y...)

where to find me -
Patreon (ad free & bonus content): https://shorturl.at/8bpnw
TikTok: TikTok: alyssadgrenfell
Instagram: Instagram: alyssadgrenfell
Blog: https://www.mormontruths.com
Email me: alyssadgrenfell@gmail.com

support my channel -
Venmo: https://venmo.com/u/Alyssa-Grenfell

20 Comments

@alyssadgrenfell Creator 1 year ago Pinned

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@geraltshmm5750 1 year ago

I wanted to just say on a lighthearted note, my husband, who was raised as a mormon but has since left, actually noticed how women in the church would do things like bring the men baked treats and all that, but instead of taking away that he should expect that, he decided thats how he would flirt with me in high school. He would bring me food he made and thats how he won my heart.

@nurshark10 2 years ago (edited)

I was condemned by other Mormon women who were stay at home moms. I continued with my nursing career. We were converts to the church. (It was always my back up plan.) I worked and he also worked. He never asked me to stop working. I never would have either.
Unfortunately, my husband died at 56! We had two young daughters. Thank goodness I still had my nursing degree to provide for myself and my children. I left the church afterwards. My daughters hated being Mormon even though it was all they knew.
We are ALL EX MORMONS now.
Don’t be naive, ladies!!!!!!

@DarlingDearest076 2 years ago

Currently struggling as a 16-year-old girl in the Mormon religion. I'm still figuring everything out, purity culture and overall misogyny in general has made me feel like in some ways im worthless and gross for getting as*aulted when I was 13. Still deconstructing my own brain lol. Your videos help tremendously. I wish you all the best :)

@jaimeslagowski7136 1 year ago

I grew up Mormon. On this topic, I remember receiving a lesson at girls camp where they’d show us two pictures and have us choose the “good” or “righteous” picture. One of the picture sets was a mother and a working woman. It made me so mad because my mother was a working woman and a mother. But nevertheless everyone demonized the working mother’s picture. I got so mad I tried to get up and walk out. I was physically held back from leaving by my fellow Mormon friends/peers. It’s not just conditioning us towards being a traditional mother, it’s demonizing all other ways of living.

@nixand_brennt 1 year ago (edited)

When your own childhood doesn't pass the Bechdel test..........

@babs.kristi 2 years ago

I was one of those Mormon stay at home moms. I put my husband through law school and always wanted to go back to school for myself, but it was never " the time" for me to go back. When I finally did go back, our marriage fell apart. But I had to stay with him to finish my degree before we could divorce. And it's been hard, starting a career in my 40s

@LeBigDookie 2 years ago

My wife is from mainland China. She recently found some trad-wife TikTok accounts and was fascinated by them. I was raised Mormon so when I saw her watching some of these I told her that they are almost certainly Mormon. We looked it up and I was correct. She kept watching them, just interested in the lifestyle, and told me that the woman almost looked brainwashed, to which I told her that they kind of are. Great to see you make a video on the subject!

@madhatty-fq1sh 2 years ago

This is the reason why mlms (which are predatory) run rampant in mormonism. "Make money while being a stay at home mom" "part time work for full time pay" and all that garbage

@Squidster_Jones 1 year ago

I remember the cupcake lesson. I remember a girl who was always more skeptical about the church actually said she'd happily take the licked cupcake! The leaders were so shocked and flustered. Iconic to this day.

I also remember the first time I mentioned the used car metaphor to my guy friends. The idea is that you are gonna take way better care of a new shiny car that's in perfect condition compared to a used car that's already scuffed up. I heard that one more than anything else. My were appalled that anyone would teach that.

@glennfamilygardens 1 year ago

My daughter and I were watching a video that talked about Ballerinafarm and she said “oh, can we turn this off. Her story makes me sad because she wanted to be a dancer but was forced to move to the country and have a bunch of kids”. 😢

@mmtonge 2 years ago

I remember my 4th grade class when we were asked by our teacher what we wanted to be when we grew up. The boys all said they wanted to be policemen, firemen, baseball players, or astronauts. These are the things they thought were exciting and heroic. The girls all said they wanted to be house wives. This is what they thought they were supposed to be. I had a different idea. I really liked seeing the garbage truck come to our neighborhood and watching the men jumping off the truck, dumping garbage cans, working the levers, and jumping back on the truck as it drove away. I said I wanted to be a garbage man. My teacher immediately said, 'No, you don't'. I shrank in my seat as all the kids laughed at me. Follow your dreams ;-)

@warlordofbritannia 2 years ago

Indoctrinating little girls from the earliest ages to be, essentially, brood mates is such a frightening practice. Not only is it demeaning but also quite creepy.

@susansmart8086 2 years ago (edited)

I was a good little Mormon girl in the 60s. My mom, who had been a convert, divorced my dad and had full custody of my brother and me. Her lawyer, who was a bishop, asked her if she wanted visitation codified in the decree. She said no and we went to my dad’s every weekend. This ended for me when she found out that my dad had me do the dishes, including his dirty dishes for the week, while he and my brother went into the other room to play chess. One of the times I remember her being really angry was when my brother said that he shouldn’t have to do anything inside the house as that was “women’s work”.

@Satopi3104 1 year ago

58:37 I am East Asian where we have a ton of misogyny and I think the voice is not just the pace and pitch (which you point out) but also the halting rhythm and decreased diction (slight slurring). It’s meant to make you sound juvenile and uncertain, a child that needs to be lead. It’s 100% intentionally meant to make women more attractive to a certain type of man who finds agency, independence and capability threatening and unattractive when embodied by a woman. I fucking hate it.

@susanwestfall2051 2 years ago

Growing up in the 1950’s, girls didn’t need to be LDS to know they were expected to be a wife and mother. Or if they did work, they could only be a secretary, teacher, or store clerk. I always wanted to be a Naval officer. People would say that was not appropriate, because it meant I was either after a man or after another woman. I stuck to my dream, and was able to secure a commission and serve 7 years, attaining the rank of Lieutenant. I also married a Marine! I later became a probation officer and then changed course into IT. Never wanted children, so we never had any. Don’t let anyone stomp on your dreams!

@Qfren02 2 years ago (edited)

When I left mormonism I changed my aesthetic visually as far as possible from their standards. But to this day I am the only one of my friend who knows how to sew, crochet,make preserves, bread or know how to make a full thanksgiving etc... I don’t know how to explain to my friends WHY I know these things as barely an adult. How do I tell a bunch of cool alternative people “yeah it’s my trad wife training”

@CaraFay-bf8jk 2 years ago (edited)

Never Mormon, 60 year old female here. I was a stay-at-home for 8 years, not Tradwife but I have a warning for women doing or considering either. I understand that not all men are like my ex and no relationship is truly typical. When you decide to be a none-working woman, you are surrendering all of your potential to leave an unhappy, unfaithful or abusive relationship. Do not do that! I’m not saying that you need a high powered, high income job; but, you need to do something to develop and maintain a source of income - if for no other reason, your husband may die and leave you with no income, no job and not a lot of hope. Don’t do it! Protect yourself and your children!

@Wren402 2 years ago (edited)

Mormon women are supposed to look the same, think the same, act the same. We are supposed to be interchangeable. Meet everyone’s needs while having none of our own. Stay beautiful forever. Never complain or express unhappiness. If you’re unhappy or depressed, you are being selfish so keep in to yourself.

@1701beth 1 year ago

Our “licked cupcake” line when I was a kid was “he won’t want to buy the cow if you give the milk away for free”. How surprised (and pissed) I was to later discover that if you gave away the milk, he thought he OWNED the cow! 😂