When the narcissist is devaluing you, you will notice they will grow distant, they'll stop engaging in conversation with you, even when you try to have a conversation with them like you normally would,. They'll shrug their shoulders, raise their eyebrows, and spread their arms open, palms u, like they have no idea what you mean. Continuing the devaluation process, they will get snarky with you, they'll start to treat you like you're stupid, they'll scoff at what you say when you ask what's wrong. They won't take anything you have to say seriously because they're no longer listening to you. And if they are listening to you, they will completely dismiss what you have to say in order to reply. They don't listen with the intent to understand what you're saying, because they don't care, they just want to reply and put you down. They will start mumbling about you undertheir breath, but just loud enough for you to hear what they're saying so that when you respond you will be accused of starting the argument that will definitely follow. They will make mountains out of molehills, and just generally act disgusted with your presence in their life. They will ignore you, they will go for days without speaking to you even if you live in the same house. They will brush past you like you're not even there. And when you have something to say they will act like it's a huge deal for them to respond and they will disagree with every single thing you have to say to them whether it's true or not. If you say the sky is blue they'll say it's black. If you say you feel like there's something wrong between the two of you, you will get that classic narcissistic pose of them raising their eyebrows and spreading their arms and say something to the effect of well you should know what's wrong you're here. What do you think is wrong? And whatever it is you say whether it's how you feel they're distancing themselves from you or they don't want to spend time with you anymore you'll get that classic narcissistic pose again and when you question that they will either just flat out ignore you or they will twist it around to where it is your fault that they're not speaking to you or that they're speaking of you in an inferior way. And they will make you feel inferior, you can't do anything right, you can't say anything right and you definitely cannot understand them the way they want you to understand them. You will catch them in a little lies, that will make you second guess yourself, and by the end, you'll be second-guessing everything you ever knew them to be, everything they've ever said to you, everything they did for you you won't be sure of anything. You will have changed so much of yourself to make them happy that you won't know who you are when you're left on your own and they still won't be happy they'll just want you to change more.

They'll start spending more time away from home, and when they get there they'll act like they want to be anywhere else but where they are. They'll stick their face in the TV and it will stay there and they will tune you out like you aren't even there. They'll ignore what you have to say any questions you have to ask will never get answered, and so you will be left to fill in the holes the best you can with what you're being given.

They will start calling you names, putting you down, treating you like you're a gnat that keeps flying in their face and they can't swat you away. You're a nuisance. A pest, and all they want to do is get rid of you

If you dare ask why they're treating you this way, they will turn it around on you and say that you've been treating them that way and they're just giving it back to you, even when they know they're the ones being mean and nasty and hateful to you. They can never be the guilty party, they must always play the victim and will announce it to the world how horribly you treated them. The thing they don't realize, in their infinite narcissistic wisdom, is that True victims don't generally announce to anyone that they are a victim. True victims are generally too ashamed and embarrssed to be a victim of anything or anyone. But the narcissist has to get on that smear campaign and beat you to the punch to safeguard that bullshit reputation that they conned everyone into believing. They don't tell people that they are a different person behind closed doors, only that you are a terrible horrible person and they just don't understand why youve become so awful towards them. This way they know that no one will believe you when you tell people how they treated you, and think you're crazy for leaving such a swell, upstand Ing guy like them.

Devaluation is the beginning of a confusing and detrimental nightmare, but is not as bad as the Discard phase that will soon follow.

And, of course, it's nothing they did to you. It's always twisted around to where nothing is their fault, and everything is laid on you.  Additionally,  If you need to find out about a Cheating Narcissist; send a request to: MetaspyHub@gmail. com

Naila is such a good interviewer ❤ thanks for having me on again !

Thank you for pointing out all the tiny little comments that erode your confidence and weasel their way into your internal narrative. The tiny introjects that are hard to pin point o yourself, let alone explain to anybody else but are absolutely deliberate. They can make you feel as if you're going crazy.

This guy is so damn wise
I am now able to look narcissist in the eye and say no and then laugh
I'm so happy
It's worth it to fight for your peace and u

I think the validation of therapy is so important because the gaslighting is so crazy making. IME.

every time he spells out how the narcissist operates, as many times as I’ve heard it, it’s still so hard for me to comprehend people actually operate this way. I’m still stuck in a fantasy …😮

What I love about Richard is his martial arts training seems to have really helped him develop something unique paired with life experience and his education and interest in psychology. It's shows the power of mixing two discuplines together to create a totally new perspective and dynamic. He's down to earth and delivers his message very clearly. Powerful stuff, thank you Richard.

Messy, sometimes torrential, active mourning has to take place. It has to in order for grief to do the job of making room for Joy. The more grief, the more capacity for Joy is created. That Joy, it always belonged to YOU. The great depth of Love, that was you. Your feelings and their depth will be what stands true. And, you can share them with the world.

Funny thing about The Matrix (well, not haha funny), is that when it first came out I just could not wrap my brain around the guy who sold everyone out to be placed back into the Matrix.

Fast forward two decades. All I did was tell my husband something was wrong with our marriage and we needed outside help to fix it. I didn't blame him or even begin to explain any of how I felt. He left and eeeeeverything began crumbling. It was literally like my universe collapsing and I was sucked into another reality. A reality I didn't know or like or want.

It didn't yet really know the extent of what I'd escaped (or even that I was escaping), but in the several months to over a year  after my husband left I found myself desperately screaming at God, "UNDO it! Just undo it! Put me back! Put it all back!"

It was just my emotions screaming. But it was extremely humbling.

(Although, even at that, the reason I wanted to be put back was to stop everyone else's pain. I would not have sold them out, let alone unalived anyone, just to save myself).

Love, appreciation, respect🙏⚖️🧩 you awesome persons💪🙏♥️
Thanks for verbalising  a global issue🙏♥️

It is good to be a survivor of narcissistic abuse but to help people whose gone through what you went through and to help others in getting through it also so that if you were able to get out of it then you can help the next get out of it if they want the help. It is not gross to say what you’ve went through if you are going to use it to help others in it. What you’ve went through and learned is what can do to help the other person who is in it. It is up to them in wanting to get out of it.

Really good conversation. Thank you

I have tunes that I replay when the introject pops up. Some of them stopped entirely over time but whoa, a few are persistent little gremlins.

This was a fantastic conversation. So many gems. Thank you both.

Love Richard! Been following him since the very beginning and bought pretty much all his courses. I think I stopped too early. Hes different even in his manner of speech from when he first started. Love seeing that ❤

i’m grateful for Richard’s presence too! uh-mazing dude.

Thank you

Gracias

Therapy confuses you and abuses you if you dont have introjects sorted out... you easy target to lose yourself. It is dangerous Useless talk. Monkey talk. 100 love your courses rg
💪❤
Imagine how many therapists don't have their own introjects sorted or know anything about toxic super ego
🚫 no trust

🌿🌿🌿🦋🌿🌿🌿