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Top 10 Reasons You Might Already Be in a “Cult” (And Not Know It) ft. Daniella Mestyanek Young

Cults to Consciousness

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Cult survivor, military veteran, and bestselling author of Uncultured & The Cutting of America, Daniella Mestyanek Young further dives into the investigation of invisible systems of control shaping our lives. Raised in the notorious s*x cult the ChiIdren of God, she escaped to America as a teenager—only to find herself inside another rigid institution: the U.S. Army. Years later, as a Harvard-trained expert in organizational psychology, she began asking an important question: What if we’re all in cults?

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Website & book “The Culting of America”: https://knittingcultlady.com/
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Yt: @knittingcultlady

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Chapter Marks

00:00:00 Intro
00:03:32 Recognizing Cult Patterns
00:11:43 1. Following a Charismatic Leader
00:20:45 2. Sacred Assumption
00:25:48 3. Transcendant Mission
00:38:35 4. Self-Sacrifice
00:54:02 5. Limited Access to the Outside World
01:05:20 6. Distinguishable Vernacular
01:11:55 7. Us vs Them Mentality
01:16:07 8. Exploitation of Labor
01:21:31 9. High Exit Costs
01:25:53 10. Ends Always Justify the Means
01:32:51 Linda Listen & final thoughts

**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority.

This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.**

20 Comments

@lesliesheppard6112 4 months ago

I grew up IFB, then went southern baptist, then studied cults and other religions. I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve said, “I see cults everywhere and once you see it, you can’t unsee it!”

@fa.ben-beauty1621 4 months ago (edited)

I love how she is just casually sitting there with her big purple flower in her head and knitting 😂

@IntrepidStorytelling 4 months ago

Happy Mother's Day, Shelise and ALL of the moms out there!! I love this guest.....she is INTREPID!

@shannonmeshbane9195 4 months ago

I self sacrificed as a nurse for 19 years. I felt like a criminal for eating at work at any point in a 12 and 1/2 hour shift. My Christian mother would croon how wonderful it was how I was helping so many people. I left that career with zero support from my family. Catholicism glorifies self sacrifice and sexual suppression. Not a fan of corporate exploitation of labor. Not a fan of religious oppression.

@JenniferJoanSalame 4 months ago

😊I am so happy to hear another veteran speaking about how the military is a cult. I also believe the rampant mental health situations are because the veterans are unable to deconstruct the brainwashing without help. It has taken me years and I still struggle with shame, self esteem and fear of speaking up for myself because the lack of belief and/or retaliation where mostly men had complete power over me.

@gwendolynross1674 4 months ago

I didn't grow up in a cult, but a family controlled by a covert narcissist. Your very existence was scrutinized and you were never good enough.

@katwitanruna 4 months ago

Break the silence. Break the cycle.

@alishaparr577 4 months ago

I grew up in a military family and was married to a soldier, The US military is very culty from the moment the recruiter talks to a young adult to the almost complete immersion and isolation of boot camp. The rules often are imposed on family especially spouses and children. It's often arguably benevolent but the high control aspects are definitely there.

@r.l.5964 4 months ago

As a former Mormon and USAF officer, sounds about right.

@Bryerous 4 months ago

Daniella is the reason I've gotten back into knitting so hard. I just finished my own over sized shawl! Lol.

@Jonibaloneyji 4 months ago

boy, I have been attacked about not believing in hitting children, ever. it brings out all the Maniac people, that want to justify hitting their kids !

@miriam4235 4 months ago

I saw someone online taking about how their dad gave them a note when there where young that said "is you are ever in trouble, give me that note. I won't be angry, but I will help." Maybe something like that would help cult members too. If you ever want to get out, give me this/a note. You are always welcome here. We won't talk about it if or until you are willing to. It would maybe help mitigate the shame that stops them leaving.

@bethlomnitzer7856 4 months ago

I’m currently listening to Daniella’s book Uncultured.

It’s absolutely fascinating, terrifying and an incredible story of surviving cult life - not just 1 cult but 2!

And listening to it in Daniella’s voice adds such depth to her story.

Thanks for having her on for this discussion.

💜

@emilymcglynn 4 months ago

Thank youuuuuuu. This is why I love these podcasts. Not because the most blatant cults are salacious and shocking. Because there are sooo many ways that social systems and powerful people use these tactics in every day life to limit our freedoms and get us to conform. Because when people are easier to control, they are easier to exploit and make money from. And there are so many people in this world with a vested interest in being able to control us. I used to work in finance and these tactics are so common there. Saying no feels impossible, and leaving feels terrifying. But it is possible to nonconform, and it's so freeing.

@SacredPrayerWarrior 4 months ago

Ex-SDA here. It’s definitely a cult! I’m glad you shouted that one out because hardly anyone thinks they’re a cult.

@oliviamcintyre6970 4 months ago

I think key is understanding that an abusive partner is the same as a cult leader is the same as an authoritarian. So rather calling those 3 things the same name, recognizing that those 3 things are the same behavior patterns on different scales.

@Robin-xr2tz 4 months ago

Omg I’ve been deconstructing for decades, the fear of losing family standing and found wanting was huge. Watched this twice and have ordered the book. You two will never know how much strength comfort and understanding you’ve given me. THANK YOU ,

@Ms.Prairie 4 months ago (edited)

Shelise and Daniella ♥️ What a lovely Mother’s day Gift for us — and you two, too!! Much love to both of you.

@gracegonzalez6825 4 months ago

To this day I still say that one of the things I loved the most about being a military wife was feeling like I was in a special club. Didn't realize that was culty.😮

@heidid36 4 months ago

I love that Daniella said feed the missionaries. I've never had them come to my door but my best friend would get them all the time at her house when she was in college. She ALWAYS offered them food, drinks and Shade. (She had a big tree in her front yard.) They are very underfed and underserved by their "church."