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At first I was like "thank god the guy didn't romance the 14 yo they had to smuggle". Oh boy, did I think too soon...

This isn't even "never meeting a woman" moment this is just a straight up "what is wrong with you" moment.

The idea of the party using the “rizz attacks” as snack and bathroom breaks is so funny to me.
“Oh no, trouble is rizzing up John again, I’m gonna go take a piss”

You'd think a player flirting with NPCs when dating the DM wouldn't be that bad but...

If Trouble had focused solely on NPCs, I'd have said it was just an excuse to flirt with/fluster his boyfriend. As soon as it turned to other PCs, I no longer had any idea what his goal was.

Then it got worse.

Guard: "Sorry, I'm married."
Trouble: "Oh come on.... they won't know. We can have a good time."
Guard: "To him. (points at other guard)

“You can’t be attracted to him, he doesn’t have the Intelligence or Charisma for it!”

And judging by how you reacted to rejection, creepy DM, neither do you…

0:15 i am a snake owner (like real alive animal) and i remember when first thing i said to a girl was "wanna see my snake?", that was awful and i needed to explain a lot

Story 2: Let's imagine for a second that Art's fighter actually died and the GM was comfident on "now I can keep my moves on Jen" and at the eno of the session, Art an Jen just go have dinner at some place GM can't control

5:21 I never ever thought I'd hear someone utter the phrase "DnD sex% speedrun"... Congrats, Crab, have a thumbs up.

Story 2: Art is already an amazing player if he's able to use the DM warning of "Are you sure you want to do this?" ON the DM.

"The worst she can say is no"
Ah, but have you considered being your own worst enemy

100 sand dollars for referencing the "breasted boobily down the stairs" meme

I wonder how uncomfortable the DM was seeing their boyfriend flirt with the NPCs and other players having your partner do that cannot be pleasant.

"What's more pathetic than having the power of a God and failing anyway?" Damn now that's a line!

I feel bad for the DM, "Can I roll to seduce the dragon?" Is one thing, "I will spend 20 minutes trying to sleep with this other person's character while I am married irl to someone who has to narrate as I do so" is another

3:44 "General Kenobi", the Guard answered.

'Well, maybe my character just likes big, strong dumb guys.' That is such a perfect response to the utter nonsense the DM spouted before that, lmao.

I got a new GF who hadn’t played DnD, but her brother in law was looking to play. I’d been playing for years, and this is why she asked me. A few sessions in she told me she didn’t know how she’d feel if I was flirting with NPC’S and such; and that she’d rather we romance each other. A few sessions passed with her sister being a typical Bard, and now our whole group is, to quote my friend, the horniest group of motherfuckers he has ever ran