"Humans need comfort everyday." This is as shocking as when I heard "The 'normal' amount of su**dal thoughts is zero."

In complex trauma you often learn that reaching out for comfort is dangerous

I get this overwhelming sense of doom and hopelessness when facing significant stressors. I honestly feel it in my body. Even when I clicked on this video.

Its even worse when you have no friends at all and your family doesnt understand your situation

This is me. I was diagnosed last year at the age of 53. It was an amazing eye opener when I was told, “nope, you’re not a loser and failure, but a victim of an emotionally abusive father and an emotionally neglectful mother. I was never told I love you, never hugged, never had my hand held, never supported, never asked how I was doing, etc. With therapy and medication, I just hope the rest of my life will be happier.

This makes so much sense as to why I struggled in school as a child. I didn’t have parents that I could go to for comfort when I faced certain difficulties as a child. Now it’s even harder to cope as an adult after being trained my whole life that I don’t have anyone to go to and just getting overwhelmed trying to do it all by myself.

It's amazing how powerful we become when we feel properly supported.

I struggled my whole life with procrastination. It cost me so many missed opportunities, affected my grades at University. My Masters degree took so much longer than it should and I had countless extensions for my coursework. I think it affects my self esteem in a bad way because I don’t want to start things I am perfectly capable of doing because I know it will be a pain as I will end up procrastinating. I feel so overwhelmed with everything. Sometimes at work I spend hours just zoning out and not being focused and then I am so behind with my work. I had counselling to address this. I was given helpful strategies. I have so many books on productivity and being more efficient but I am still the same. I feel like I am battling against something to achieve the simplest things and I am working against myself- sabotaging. I had lots of trauma, lifetime of narcissistic and psychopathic abuse, going through a war. I wish life was more simple and slower pace and that people are less evil and exploitative

I started crying a little before the 15 minute mark. She explained my whole situation in a way I’ve never been able to formulate. I’m fucking 43. Better late than never I guess.

To whoever else crying while watching this - I'm crying with you. You're not alone. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are beautiful and worthy of love just the way you are. I wish I could hug you all

"People need a reasonable amount of comfort every single day."  This is so true.  I have CPTSD.  I don't ask for comfort for myself unless I am in extreme pain.  In the past, I have had partners who needed comfort for small issues, and I thought that they were just weak for it.  I was so wrong!  We all need a little hug, an "it's ok", a "you are strong" even for minor struggles.  It keeps us from spiraling into shame and loneliness and makes us stronger to handle the major stressors!

Thank you so much. And a compassionate shout-out to all the other people struggling with the toxic shame and guilt of long term self-isolation and self-neglect. ❤

So much pain in the world, I hope everyone here is able to move through all their traumas and live a healthy, happy life.

I find that society, and certain communities prioritize the “push through it” approach so that people with cptsd who may need that extra comfort to regulate just get told to “try harder” or they get tough love rather than comfort which often deepens the toxic shame. It’s so crucial to find safe people when you have cptsd but also so difficult!

It's not that we don't recognize the need for comfort we know damn well that someone ( family, partner or friend ) should hug us, it's that if we show this to people, they will think something is wrong with us, or find it clingy. We need forever people in our lives and consistent communication, we need community not casual bullshit friendships or casual bullshit relationships. But nobody wants to give

I am 71 with C-PTSD id’d just 15 years ago and you are spot-on! I’ve never heard anyone explain this dysfunction with such logic and clarity. I can now relate to my successful moments of self love and my unsuccessful moments of dis regulation. Therefore I will now lean into comfort (even if overdone at first) and self tolerance. It has been a journey and I am apparently quite strong and cherished. I will believe it more and more. Thank you.

I'm an adult now, but she reminds me of my kinder garden teacher who greeted us with delight and love. It's those gestures and delight that'll make me feel safe, feel loved. Which rarely was the case at home. ) 💔

I feel so stupid and hopeless. I am so full of hate and resentment. I spend 12 hours on my phone watching useless reels while ton of work piles up and I might not graduate. It's so hard when you have no support system and your family doesn't support it.

jesus, for someone who isnt a "trained" psyche you sure have us pegged. I have never heard this explained so elegently and felt so personally attacked at the same time.

Much love to all my friends out there with CPTSD. You are NOT alone ❤❤❤