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I knew exactly what I was doing wrong. I could recite the patterns, name the wounds, explain the psychology. And I still repeated the same mistakes. The Hidden Trap of Self Sabotage by Dorian Kng showed me knowledge was never the problem, my nervous system did not feel safe enough to change. I built safety first. Now the knowing finally turns into doing. Thank you for this video.

Recently heard the quote "It's easier to act yourself into new ways of thinking than to think yourself into new ways of acting" -- keep meaning to look up who said it - but it's been a super useful mantra lately

I’m making myself listen to this video four times in a row while I clean my house. I’m tired and dragging ass but this video explains what I need so so well and I need to hear this more than once. More than twice. 4! Thank you so much for this video🎉

It’s important to check your confirmation bias and remind yourself when Heidi DOESN’T have perfect timing for your situation 😅

I have gotten a lot of clarity from someone telling me, “it is impossible to make a mistake.” Everything is leading us to where we are meant to be right now

Going through a breakup right now and navigating between guilt/regret and shame. This feels very timely. Thank you as always Heidi

Me watching this after yet again committing to far too many social engagements, work tasks and going on one million dates a week.

I feel like it is so difficult for my body to accept that I need to be in my window of tolerance when I spent almost every living moment of my life not even knowing I had one. My brain just wants to do some exposuremaxxing and get fully healed in 2 weeks. And very unsurprisingly it doesn't work haha.

21:24 OMG I have an incredibly long history of putting myself in incredibly unsafe conditions both emotionally and literally... Even as a 49 year old mother and a grandmother I was still doing that. I'm 52 now and I may be coming close to living within my window of tolerance partially thanks to listening to you for the last few years ❤️❤️❤️

As usual, you couldn't post this at a better time if you tried.

Recently, after 5 months of testing, I discovered that I'm gifted, not autistic (which explains a lot of my behavior and emotional intensity). But the diagnosis didn't bring the closure I was expecting. Today, just two hours ago, I left a therapy session where a somatic exercise brought up the image of me handing that report to a pre-verbal version of myself. And I realized that he doesn't need explanations. He needs a tight hug, and to know that he is loved and safe, even if he's a little different, and that all the trauma he went through wasn't his fault.

I cried a lot. I've read so many books, watched so many videos, and done so many therapy sessions, yet all that knowledge pales in comparison to your body actually feeling safe.

Thanks, Heidi. The last 12 months have been a wild ride, and you've been a wealth of compassion and kindness through it all. You're really appreciated. 🫂

I try to say “I’m not in a regulated enough state to deal with this right now” but the people around me just say “*stop making excuses!*”

hey, thanks for that. I've became really used to keep pushing my limits and to assume responsibilities, that sometimes I just forget to treat myself kindly and listen to my body.  Your work has been essential to my healing journey, thanks again

This is a great reminder to me in this moment to have some patience with others for not listening to my advice when I try to describe the changes I've made to how I navigate the world.

It took me a long time to change my approach to life to something healthier and I forget that the people I'm talking to might not be in a place where their bodily system is physically capable of acting on or even accepting that advice yet.  Great video thanks!

That's an excellent point in itself- how are we going to heal if we are still in a situation that is still hurting us?
Stop trying to walk on a broken leg.

Thank you for showing me what emotional health looks like. I've never been there. Now it makes sense why I've never made good decisions for myself or felt really safe being alone. Stuck in depression, I can't find a way to grieve and let go of things I've lost. Being able to enjoy those positive things you described in your window of tolerance is a worthy goal to look forward to. Ahh, one take away is that now that I am more able to identify both my tendency to think I can handle Narcissistic relationships and see one that is developing, I can remind myself of the imminent heartbreak at the other end and avoid it from the beginning. I did that several weeks ago and now find myself relieved to have let it go w/o protest.

This is so difficult to achieve. And people judging me for needing to co-regulate doesn't make it better. I had a great somatic therapist who helped me with my window of tolerance and I made so much progress  when I was working with her because I felt safe and supported in our relationship.

Heidi, thank you for all the good you do to this world ❤

22:00 I have been fairly isolated the last couple years since I left my husband. I was invited to a birthday party and it was a grand event. There was a man there outside who was intoxicated but definitely my normal "type". He started talking to me on several occasions throughout the evening but I really did not engage. I was polite but tried to make each interaction as brief as possible. At one point he stopped approaching me and I thought oh my God Tanya you did it!!! It's like I was looking at the whole situation as though I was an outside Observer. It was really an emotional roller coaster and I wanted to leave several times but I also wanted to stay at the party because it was an important event for me. So although I experienced some very uncomfortable time frames during the evening I was very proud of myself at the end of the night ❤️❤️❤️ and it was so obvious what was going on that a woman later approached me and said is that man bothering you? She had noticed him approaching me and engaging in conversations on those several occasions and could tell that I was uncomfortable which validated me because at a few stages I was thinking are you just overreacting Tanya? Maybe he's just talking to you. But no I am sure he was targeting me because he could sense I am normally that vulnerable person but I am on the verge of living in a more regulated state. Month after month I can feel it happening more and more...
Thank you for pouring your heart and soul into these videos for years. I can only imagine I am a small percentage of the people that you have helped change themselves at a fundamental level ❤️

Heidi Priebe, you are amazing. I just got through listening to this video, taking notes, and learning so much! Now I am forwarding the video to specific people I know and love who will likewise benefit from understanding the emotional terrain we live in and how to change our own habits, behaviors, and instincts one experiment at a time… This is big and you explain it so clearly! Thank you!

Listen, Heidi. Ive missed out on like 8-9 videos of yours and i feel super guilty. Just wanted to say that i still appreciate your insights and enthusiasm to share them. I will watch all of your videos eventually but not now.
(The vids arent just for me, i know, but i appreciate them just as much as the next person and i wanted to express that)