You summed up the problem with modern romance movies perfectly!! All of these modern movies show a love that is focused more on tension and passion and not on the little things that truly make love worthwhile

so many movies are the reason I have an immature take on love. Thankyou for pointing them out

You really scratched an itch that has been itching for so longggg by mentioning the fact Allie left Lon who offered stability, kindness and gentleness for intensity with Noah. When I watched the movie I was like “you’ve got to be kidding me” cause there’s no way that they’re actually potraying that as true love.

Its always drove me nuts growing up in 2000s and 2010s with people criticizing disney for unrealistic romance and calling this stuff real.

Happy Endings have ALWAYS been guaranteed. I don't know what you're talking about.
And don't get me wrong, I was OBSESSED with Disney's Pocahontas as a teenager growing up in the 90s, but it broke my heart. In the end I always prefer Happy Endings (I'm excited about how it's happening, not IF). I have enough unhappy endings IRL, I don't need them in films and shows too.

I won't stand for any To All the Boys slander tho!!  But I get it. One of my favorite romance movies is Before We Go. I didn't realize it was a rip off of Before Sunrise

The actress in Purple Hearts is in EVERYTHING. Her face doesn’t move. I hate it (not her face, just it’s immobility). Once I realized it, I couldn’t stop looking at her forehead.

i definitely agree that modern rom coms leave a lot to be desired, but i don’t agree that every rom com needs to end ambiguously for it to be a good one. yes, love doesn’t need to be this intense, earthshaking feeling for it to be real and good, but sometimes, a love story does end happily. people do get married or stay together for the rest of their lives, and i don’t think it’s lazy or boring to portray that. sometimes i want to watch something that leaves me thinking about what it means to love, but sometimes i want a happy ending that shows me love is real and can be found.

i do agree the cheating trope and instant love are frustrating, and don’t even get me started on miscommunication, but being in a relationship means dealing with both internal and external problems. seeing a couple work through things and fight for each other can be really heartwarming and simply serves a different purpose than movies like eternal sunshine.

I have a movie recommendation for you. It's an argentinian movie called "Los amantes astronautas". It's a rom com made by an indie director that has pretty much no external conflict and is 90% the main characters talking. It's very good

This could be a byproduct of the Dating/ Relationship we have nowadays. At a time were more people are single or lack experiencing relationships, its not surprising modern movies are couples that are 100% perfect and compatible; the Obstacles are always outside stuff preventing them being together while the couple itself is just perfect in every way.

“We got so used to reassurance “ guys the world sucks and is “realistic” enough. I think the production company’s realizing that and producing hope core is a decision I can get behind.
Also the “one bad morning and yall don’t really mess with eachother” trope is something I’ve experienced and witnessed myself so , there’s realism all around maybe it’s just not mass relatability which I would think is a good thing

I feel like trying to find realism in romance can be paradoxical. If you know what romanticism is you know it's supposed to be dramatic and emotional, high passions and almost no logic involved(that's for enlightenment). Amplify it even more and you get stalking, unbalanced power dynamics, cheating and affairs aplenty, since they're so in love that having a partner already is just considered an obstacle that the cheating couple has to navigate.

Looking for the small minor forms of affection and love is rare and it doesn't just happen in movies, modern or classic, it's built into the genre itself and as old as fiction has existed hence why people say that you have to learn the ropes yourself, in the process, you find out more about yourself and what kind of person you like, sure it may not workout, it could be you or it could be them but at least you find your boundaries and discover other aspects about yourself and hopefully changed those that are unsavory.

Just don't expect that reality to work like in the movies, treat people as actual people with their own interest and identity not NPC's or background characters that just support the story of your own life.

This is why, when it comes to romance I prefer it in drama or anime form rather than movie form. The longer time allows for more development, more subtlety, more internal conflicts which are there for a reason, more time to resolve things, more time to explore the chemistry - which I feel we just don't get enough of in movies, especially now.

That’s why Set It Up is such a great movie. We see characters grow, learn more about themselves, and become BEST friends while keeping their other friends around.
There’s some hurt, but it’s more realistic, they’re becoming friends and then fall in love bc of that!!
And their chemistry is fantastic

That made so much sense. We got addicted to an Emily Henry version of love...

Am I the only one who sings romances do better as TV shows than they do movies?

Red White And Royal Blue is one of my favorite movies because the relationship between Alex and Henry feels earned. Their obstacles aren't outside, they have to do with the relationship itself.

I don't understand why you're putting romance and romcom in the same bag

I absolutely loved this analysis. It's totally apt, and so true. The real magic of romance is the slow burn, the building of attraction and the getting to know one another phase.. just because the audience no more enjoys delayed gratification with open ending, new movie makers stick the same old template that's repetative and predictable atp.
For those who are looking for truly romantic modern day movie, I urge you to watch past lives directed by Celine Song. It's slightly sad but it's unlike any of the similar format romance movies mentioned in this video.

I hated the notebook. Even with my slight obsession with Ryan gosling I never understood why they were such a great couple