Finally! About time you shed light on some good scripts. Even if they aren't fully ready for the market. I'm just elated that you can articulate the word GOOD and not just "It's FINE." Lol.

Your videos are great. It’s like you’re right there with me, telling me what’s what. Thank you.

I love the Tom Sawyer scene. Looks intriguing.

Thank You! I learned something that's very important. I learned that it is better to substitute Action lines instead of using Beat or Pause. I've read many scripts that used "A beat" that I thought it was standard practice. It is so much better to use an action line instead. It makes the story continuous without disruption or stopping in your reading because the script said pause.

Just curious. Let's say you reviewed a first page of a script, and made comments, suggestions and criticisms in regards to that first page. Would you like to see the rewrite of that first page based on that review? Something like a before and after.

Yo I need help. I have stories in my heart that I want to share but I don't want to run in blind. I've watched many of your videos and learned script format, plot structure, and character depth along with raising stakes. Would you please make a video or reply explaining how to organize and develop sequences along with how many and where beat points fall in a story? I watched your videos explaining these concepts but how to go about making them and making a cohesive narrative is still beyond me. Please help! You're content has made me infatuated with learning and I enjoy it so much. Thank you if you took the time to read this.

I feel like I do the opposite. I’m always underwriting, more directing then story telling.

#69!!! And really informative and helpful!

"a hand flashes to the phone, as if in anticipation..."
no, we just set the scene up, think spatially not logically.
the semi colon you marked should be a full stop, or even split the two descripts entirely.
no character setup, must be done when they are seen or heard.
or just have an exclamation mark... and good use of double-dash in that part.
can you abbreviate from a noun? window will...

second action line, get rid, duplication. or merge it into the first action line
again, character setup missing for "a woman". can't have mystery in the descript, only in the story, and not incidental characters.
bit of a logic break with the dialogue, could be slightly re-arranged?
no change of scene location, mashed into one.
who is paul? we know who alice is. conciseness.
oh this would be a good exercise in pacing, that first action line might have more description to give a more sedate feel... like it's derelict or abandoned, and the sound from inside being shock value.  classic cinematic scream! same as the reveal of the woman under the sheet.
more than one couch, another logic break.
why is it 1987? it could be 1887 for all we know. and can't be a flashback.

ooh, a date in the slugline, how very apropos.
not the only thing that's worn thin and threadbare!
and we have a name-o! (actual line from my script)
a beat is not action, i know what the writer is trying to do, change to an action. pointed silence is, as well as the singular silence... this is a sequence, so perhaps write it as such, dialogue with action in parenthesis.
viewpoint narration, through the eyes of mary ... read. in fact a good contemporary spelling of the name too.
however, on-point character presentation progression! the past, the present, and the future. was this planned?

yeah that character mystery, i did that and literally called her "mysterious woman"... oh have you done a video on naming conventions?

I feel sorry for writers trying to break in. Been told that your script's problem is camera pans and saying "a beat" lol. Nobody cares (except these gurus trying to sell you a course. They ll find fault in anything cause that's their livelihood) . DO YOU HAVE A GOOD STORY OR NOT? that's all that matters . after that is - DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN JUMPSTART IT TO PRODUCTION? yes or yes ? the end.

Hey. I'm not very fluent in English, but I write good stories using basic to intermediate English. What are your thoughts on non-native speakers writing screenplays in English?

Curious, why do you find semi-colons pretentious?  And is there a use of it that no longer comes across as pretentious?
I tend to you them to break things up when there is fast action.    
John slams the door shut; the door swings open, revealing an empty doorway; John runs away, halts -- the same door rests in front of him.  
I've seen people use em dashes, others separate sentencing, others commas.  But commas start to look jumbled and blocky with the more actions that occur.  And em dashes and separate sentences don't connect the action enough when it's intended to be fast back to back actions.  Your thoughts?

Yet here is the struggle for hopeful writers... Out of how many submissions in 2025, 25 specs were optioned.

That's the first page? C'mon man! This is ridiculous! I'm not watching this shit anymore!

One problem with the Mary scene is the "as you know" moment where the landlady tells the mother information she clearly already knows (about the rules for staying there). Better to leave that in subtext and let the audience figure it out later as the info comes up naturally, for example when the landlady discovers the boy's body and the family gets kicked out.