Just tell her to write it as a novel.

I was guilty of starting my story in the wrong place until I started working with Jake. My "calling card" script started with the main character on a plane that was landing, going through the airport to the car rental, in the parking lot putting his bags in the back seat. Driving through town. Entering the parking lot. Entering the hotel. Checking in.....
I want to break my laptop just describing it. It wasn't until the main character walked through the door of the reunion and time warping 30 years into the past and checking into his unit where his Officer in Charge has heard negative things that any conflict happened, and that was 4 pages in.
Working with Jake, we talked about how to change the opening and how to make the story more viable. Now, that script is being sent out and has gotten positive reviews from the people that have read it.
I highly recommend the Crucible. It took me from writing scripts that not even I wanted to read to scripts that are good enough to send out.

I almost never ever use voice over.  It's actually more fun to write a slightly confusing screenplay that has the reader interested in finding out what is going on by themselves.

Start with the fingerprint lift, back gradually out to the blood, the body, the room, then DeLuca delivering his first line.

Second script they can add conflict by having the roof leak and the women having to fix it then use the flooding water imagery to transition to the flashback on the slave ship

The first moment in the first script should be kept only if a detail can be shown wich will later become important for the solution of the case.

I instantly physically cringed when I saw that giant chunk on the first script, but only because I recognize it all too well in my early days of writing. Unfortunately a lot of us have been there. As singers love hearing the sound of their own voice, writers love seeing the prose of their written words. We love navel-gazing. Unfortunately many of us have to learn the hard way to kill our darlings. You can’t just leave the slab of rough marble on the page. You have to chip away until you reveal the sculpture underneath all the words. The pure essence of what you’re trying to say.

For the first script... You don't even have to have him say he is heading back. You can cut that sentence out and go to a different scene. Thats almost like those old movies where they say "Hello Jim", "Why hello Bob" at the beginning of the scene.

This is great please do more of these! This exercise was very informative and helpful. I have been watching a ton of youtube script videos and you are the first person that I have come across that actually runs through and discusses scripts in progress.

This one was so helpful! And to the author of Sylvia, I learned a lot from yours because I had something similar going on, and I eventually changed it and am glad I did! I just kept hearing "start where the story starts".

First one is a typical case of reading older scripts. – Is what I wanted to write until you said it 😂 It’s so unfair. The scripts of some of my fave movies look like that…

I really enjoy your screenwriting videos. They’ve helped me a hell of a lot, and now I can even see the things that you’re gonna say before you say them, which I feel is a testament to your teaching.  I just wonder when people send you pages  and they’re really good, do you give them any feedback, or do you  only discuss the ones that  that need help? And again thanks for all your help.

Great advice, keep working.

Oh no, my guys No Country for Old Men V.O got slashed 😂

This is vastly overwritten

How shall a director show that someone who looks out of the window would like to have a Beatles haircut? He can't so it is useless information.

What do you think about Vertical  video series? They
're typically 1-3 minutes episodes and 60-100 episodes in a series.

The first scene of my current screenplay is a 1/2 page flash-forward with no dialogue. (Just hands pushing through photos.) Could I submit that and the second scene, which is about 2 2/3 pages?

Sylvia was 12 in 1820 and 8 in 1745? How slow did she grow up?

Are you pulling these scripts from your paid website consultations?
Or are they from a level of paid sub to this channel?