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Gay Men and Ghosting: 4 Reasons He Disappeared

Therapy for Gay Men

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Have you ever been talking to someone—everything’s going great—and then they just vanish? No text. No call. Just silence. And while it’s painful, ghosting is also incredibly common in gay dating. So why do gay men ghost so often? And what does it really say about them—and not you?

In this video, I break down the deeper emotional reasons behind ghosting and what’s really happening beneath the silence.

If this video resonates, drop a comment below. Have you been ghosted before? How did you handle it?

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#GayDating #GayRelationships #GayMen #LGBTQ #GayTherapist #GayDatingAdvice #Ghosting #GayLove #DatingApps #relationshipadvice

20 Comments

@Therapy-for-Gay-Men Creator 7 months ago Pinned

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@philipdraper7284 11 months ago

It’s important not to staple your entire self esteem to the actions of other people. It’s easier said than done. It takes work.

@cinnamonbeardtm 11 months ago

Last weekend I was at an event and a guy who ghosted me years ago, including a lie about him being overseas which I found out from a coworker of his, came up to me and tried to act like I was the one who disappeated. I told him "Go away ghost! It's not halloween yet!" It was satisfying because people we knew in common witnessed it. Maybe I came off as bitchy or crazy, but man I felt SO satisfied.

@gquinn4159 11 months ago (edited)

It's really horrible when you met a guy on Grindr, exchanged numbers, sent a few WhatsApp msgs, and met once, twice, three times. Then it all comes to a sudden end. You're ghosted. Then you see them back on thevgrind, and it's like you never even existed! Was I crap in bed, was my body not fit enough, was I not hung enough. Even if there wasn't sexual chemistry on their part, it's sad because you feel like they could have been nice friend to say hi too when out.

@BlueEyed888 11 months ago

It’s cowardice, plain and simple. If you can’t just call or text or email or whatever that you are no longer interested in continuing to meet, are moving on, have a new puppy which requires all of your free time , etc THEN. YOU. ARE. A. COWARD.

@edwardnashen5960 11 months ago (edited)

The worst! It's cowardice and all about them! What you say may be , but some guys are just selfish and cruel.

@tpcs-u5u 11 months ago

Ghosting is commonplace in Japan's gay community, and I get the impression that many of those who are ghosted are deeply hurt and carry the pain for years, becoming even more avoidant about romance.

@daleshand622 11 months ago

Thank goodness for the wisdom that comes with growing older. I used to take being ghosted deeply personally. Now I know it’s more about their flaws than mine.

@md28stads 7 months ago

Ghosting is actually so traumatic which is why I absolutely refuse to do it myself now even if having to have a difficult conversation is so difficult.

@paulfribbins 11 months ago

Ghosting is often an act of cowardice by the ghoster! PPL can be such shallow cowards!

@ashgreene4914 11 months ago

thanks for bringing this important topic up for discussion. In my opinion, i believe that the main reason this may happen because the person may see that you may not be the right person for them and they lack maturity in ending the relationship or they are already involved with someone else and were only using you for a quick sexual encounter.

@SAreamusic1 11 months ago

I don’t ghost but if I am the only one making the effort, texting first, I walk.

No response is a response!

@nelsonespinoza2582 11 months ago

I have been 😢Ghost alot... all I wanted was a friendship that could lead to a romantic relationship 😔

@skylers1144 11 months ago (edited)

Don't think it is that hard to turn down someone, especially when you don't know the guy too well anyways. Just say it and move on. It tells more of the person as probably that's the way they deal with other aspects in their lives.

@alistaircroll1036 11 months ago

Thanks for this .
This also happens in gay friendships too .

@passatboi 11 months ago

Thank you for this. I had a very good friend ghost me. We weren’t intimate, but I let him know I wasn’t happy about him turning down my AC and he never spoke to me again. I was really devastated and spent a long time thinking “was I too hard on him?”. Took a long time to realize it was him, not me.

@wkrapek 7 months ago

I hiiighly recommend The Charisma Myth. (The “myth” being that only some people have it.) And one of the most important lessons I learned is that I needed to LEAN IN to my discomfort. My anger. Or embarrassment. Or fear. Etc. Long story short: a lifetime of burning bridges.

@stevekokker4662 11 months ago

Great video, thanks. It can even be upped a level by a frank discussion of how the modern first world urban community has encouraged a lack of emotional maturity and growth in so many ways - and that one of the expected consequences of this is ghosting. It’s high time we have such discussions. Thanks.

@SnoCone7 9 months ago

Insecure males who are literally cowards ghost other men, they lack the emotional maturity. Remember folks! Straight men also ghost or screw over women. Its not only a gay thing. I am gay and I do not ghost...if I ignore someone is because I am not attracted to them.