I have been in a 20 year marriage to an addict. I have found that there’s no room in the relationship. His addictions, his needs, and all that comes with, there’s no room for me at all. Thanks for your channel. You are really helping people.

He doesn't think his abuse of me, gaslighting,  lies and drinking are the problem in the relationship.  He says it's because I'm emotional and volatile.

I have found I am no longer the person I was before since loving an alcoholic. I am worse. Makes me think I need to be  alone.

Yeah, according to my husband I'm the "unsafe" one for him!

I'm exhausted just listening to this story.

I had to leave my alcoholic husband 15 years ago. I was the only one fighting for him to heal his traumas and alcoholism while neglecting my own healing. It was killing me. I was the only thing standing between him and graduating from beer guy to vodka guy. Vodka guy appeared as soon as I left. His family all helped him abuse us financially by enabling him and not seeing his alcoholism because they’d have to address their own. 15 years later his parents are dead and the bank of dad got spent as blowing his inheritance on partying. He didn’t pay off his mortgage. His siblings turned their backs on him for being a drunk while they drink to this day. His nephew drowned drunk in the Connecticut River recently and they stopped at the whiskey bar on the way home from cremating him as well as drank at his funeral. It’s so sad. My ex finally went to rehab earlier this year but he’s back to drinking and my kids give him money so he won’t freeze to death or lose his house. I hate alcohol. It’s destroyed so much. My older daughter has been through all of this and she’s drinking herself into the worst life decisions possible. She’s got an alcoholic bf now that’s worse than her. Just how far will the fall have to be for them to wake up? This video is helpful. I’ve watched quite a few more of them but still feel like I’m waiting in the wings with a broom and a dustpan for the inevitable funerals to come.

I have been thru all of this for 25+ years...it kills you little by little...when it's your kids and it's life long? It just breaks your heart every single day.

After 30 years of his opiate addiction, putting up with the blaming, lies, gaslighting blah blah blah, there’s no way I’m leaving with half the assets,  I’m digging in, it’s only a matter of time, it may sound ruthless to someone who hasn’t been through it but it’s not.

He is 4 months in recovery now but his emotions are exactly the same as when he was in active addiction. Is it normal?

It’s sad that alcohol has such a hold on people. I’ve been basically begging my partner to stop because he becomes verbally abusive when he’s drunk. Then in the end I sought legal advice to take our kids back home to my family interstate, saved money that he doesn’t know about, got my ducks in a row basically. I reached the point of telling him I’ve sought legal advice and I have a good case if he wants to try fight me for the kids. I thought this would be a wake up call for him, but instead he told me to go and he wouldn’t fight me for the kids. Now it’s looking like I may have to follow through on this as it’s clear he doesn’t want change. I even asked him to do counselling but he won’t unless I book the appointment. I want him to be proactive. I’m sick of being his mummy.

I've decided to leave, my child has all these stomach issues from the stress of the house. I may have to go into a shelter idk how I will do it. But I will get out pray for me y'all we need it.

Thank you Amber. You cannot express your feelings and you cannot say the truth to an alcoholic because in his mind you are wrong and he is right.

As a recovering alcoholic with 8-1/2 years of sobriety, currently working as an addictions counselor, I can say that I put not only my wife but my parents through a virtual hell during my active addiction, and the advise you offer is so insightful and helpful.  Thanks for your work!

Ya the alcoholic doesn't ever want to hold themselves accountable for the pain they create.

Am I the only one that experiences this:   The drinker starts arguing with you—it’s some he’s wrong about. He’s yelling at you. But as soon as you yell back—-then he acts like he’s the victim.

He knows the argument was his fault but as soon as he gets the reaction from you and you try HARD not to get upset or triggered and lose your temper (from him interrupting you or talking over you) then he flips the tables and you’re the bad person.

I have only listened to the first 20 seconds and I feel like I was just seen and heard. It always feels like the attention is allllwwways on the addict and those of us surrounding the addict are suffering and invisible. And JUDGED if we step away to attempt our own recovery and peace finding. It's like addict's matter and the people surrounding them are meaningless, throwaway, worthless. The only person worth rescuing is the addict.

My ex-husband addict has already been gone for seven years now but this is reminding me a lot of what I’ve lived through and this is so extremely validating I just want to say thank you.

Hi Jason . I’m watching from the U.K. 🇬🇧and appreciate you sharing your present situation. I have said the exact same thing as you , that I wish I could do the hard work for my husband. I’m absolutely broken with it all. His cocaine/ alcohol addiction has ripped through our hearts . I pray things change for you all.

Jason, thank you for sharing! I have an adult son who is a meth addict. I have experienced all the emotions, disappointment and hope that he will get help. He is homeless at this time which kills me but the roller coaster ride with him started affecting my health so I had to let him go. So now my volcano is filled with grief as well as disappointment , but I will not let go of the hope that God will deliver him!

My husband has been a coke addict for 40 years, thought he might quit after open heart surgery. After a month after surgery, i found at he was using again . I came unglued . The videos have been helping me. Thanks