OpenTube

When to Cut Ties with an Addict/Alcoholic

Put The Shovel Down

56,730 views

Everyone tells you to set boundaries. Nobody tells you how to know when those boundaries aren't working anymore.

If you've been holding on — waiting for a sign, waiting for things to shift, waiting for permission to finally walk away — this is that conversation.

I'm going to walk you through the specific sign that tells you it's over. Not guilt-driven. Not fear-driven. Just the clearest indicator that cutting ties is the only move left — and why everything before that sign was you doing exactly what made sense at the time.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

🔥Today's live is sponsored by SOBERLINK — remote alcohol monitoring that actually works: https://www.soberlink.com/amber

📆Get An Appointment With Amber: https://www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...

🤖 Try Amber AI (available 24/7 when you need support right now): https://puttheshoveldown.com/amber-ai

💗Beyond Boundaries online program: https://www.familyrecoveryacademy.onl...

#addictionrecovery #addictionhelp
#familydynamics #familyrecovery #cuttingties #problemdrinker #drinkingproblem #walkaway #whenisitenough #amberhollingsworth #puttheshoveldown

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20 Comments

@fermagee123 4 months ago

Hell on earth being in a relationship with an alcoholic….you know it’s bad when the anxiety you develop actually manifests as pain every where in your body.

@asdf4678z 4 months ago

Once a person completely destroys your nervous system it's really hard to come back from that. It's nearly impossible to heal in the same environment that broke you.

@JillR-qk2yh 4 months ago

I have finally filed for divorce. We have been married 28 years and 18 of those were him drinking heavily. While I feel the decision is the right one, it doesn't make it any easier. We were together a long time and did have some very good and happy times. I realized I didn't know who I was anymore and I was in a constant mode of anxiety and stress. I need to start caring about my own care instead of trying to control his.

@Sunny_Day1111 4 months ago

The emotional push/pull dynamic is too much. I explain my feelings, he changes for a few days, then back to his ways. He is not a bad person. He drinks a lot of beer, likes to sit alone and watch sports and on his computer. He leaves me alone most of the time. I want to spend time with him, but he always withdraws back to his man cave. Time and time again. I’m so used to being alone, that when he went away on business, it wasn’t much different than him being home.
Most of my resentment is from being the one who cleans, walks the dogs and puts in the emotional load. I’m just exhausted. He has no desire to do anything fun and when we are out his anxiety to get home is felt throughout my body.

@cathyhodgson9294 4 months ago

We are sick too. Al-Anon helped me so much. I lost my son 3 years ago.

@elizabethazasriel6553 4 months ago

I totally cut ties with my daughter. She has been to 18 rehabs, 3 times on life support and still messing up people's life's around her as well as her own 11 year old twins. We're even tried to take those kids away from her but her husband keeps pulling her back into their lifes. I even walk away from my grandkids because of her horrific behaviour. Too much water under the bridge. She uses drugs. Whatever she can get. Everything I felt for her has been killed. Obliterated.

@lynn35679 4 months ago (edited)

This is the video I needed today. Thank you Amber. I was in the ER with what I thought was a heart attack. It ended up being a panic attack.

@SisterBewitcher 2 months ago

I lost my sister and almost myself to addiction... It's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. I still cry about her almost every day. 😢

@northsideyanks 4 months ago

Being in a relationship with a person with an addiction they'll be gone for extended unaccounted hours. Every now and then they'll disappear for Days. They're not good people to be in a Relationship with. They are unstable people that lack stability.

@sobrietybootcamp64 2 months ago

I fell in love in a rehab centre with another addict, HUGE MISTAKE, Never do that....almost killed me, Im now 8 years sober

@LadybugLuvblahblah 4 months ago

I cut ties when my children were put in danger and everyone protected the addict.

@karenj8406 4 months ago

I learned I can't fix or change an addict. They must WANT to recover and only they can do it for themselves and when they are ready. They must admit that they have a substance abuse problem without justification or excuses. I was running for years and years in the wheel of insanity (doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. Family members become just as sick (anger, depression, resentment, feeling hopelessness etc).. only when I started to focus on my own wellbeing to heal and detach did things started to change. It was a very long process until I got to this point. A life coach crossed my path and helped me to heal. I did not realise that I was codependant and that is what was keeping me stuck.

@sharianfulper7441 23 hours ago

My husband was sober after 3 rehabs, then went back to drinking. 20 years later he drank his way through outpatient therapy and still graduated! Now he is drinking everyday , gambles and more. Its crazy making!

@jcolledge88 4 months ago

I stayed for 6yrs with my ex while he drank alcohol everyday and then started using heroin... he was in and out of rehab for a year and would never stay the full amount of time
I was always in fight or flight .. always angry and my 5yr old son started asking questions so i made the tough decision last year to move back in with my family and i havent looked back since
He is still in and out of rehab and unfortunately has no relationship with his son
Heartbreaking but i know i made the right choice for my son and myself

@Debbie-tf2de 4 months ago

Thank you Amber. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can’t tell you how much what you are saying resonates. Please keep doing what you are doing. You have a gift.

@jillpeters4297 4 months ago

As a mom of 3 and struggled through addiction with one. It has gotten the best of me in every aspect. The mental and emotional trauma has led to my body physically being sick. I don’t even know who I am anymore

@dianestahr4421 4 months ago

Alcoholics ruin people's lives. Kids get put in care and suffer for life. They use any excuse to drink. Blamers and shamers. They need to apologize to the ppl they have scarred.

@maxinebellows741 4 months ago (edited)

It was because of you that 3 years ago I evicted the drug addicted guy I lived with. I couldn't be happier now! Thank you for your help! Your 10 questions really helped me realize it was time! I had 9 out of 10! I said bye bye...