Considering Dakota started fucking smearing the film in interviews the second her check cleared, I'm not surprised. She described it as "like if you asked AI to write the script for a movie your boyfriend would watch once"

Also, if Madame web started off as a lifeguard she would’ve been wearing red, wearing glasses, while sitting in a throne-like chair. It’s even better foreshadowing.

"With great responsibility, great power will come." The writers must have been incredibly proud of themselves for thinking of the laziest line ever.

"My mother actually died... In child birth." at a baby shower justifies this films existence 😭😭😭😭

No one else brings up the dumb part of stealing baby parkers powers. A baby parker that doesn't get it for another almost 2 decades in literally every rendition.

Bro im not giving my dad a ball shaver😭

Imagine making a movie so bad that you were taken out of the same cinematic universe as Morbius

Imagine being a teenage girl and some random woman on the nyc subway grabs you, drives you to the middle of the woods in a stolen taxi, gets rid of your phones, leaves for several hours, and then takes you to her house. i would immediately assume some human sacrifice nonsense was gonna happen to me

“Earn her iconic disabilities” made me choke on my cookies 😭😭😭

I still can’t believe Sony made one of the worst superhero movies ever made and followed it up with an even worse movie

The bit that made me laugh out loud. She removes the number plates from the cab so that it can't be identified but completely ignores the fact that the lights on the roof have the exact same registration number displayed.

I worked on this movie as an assistant. I asked why there are 3 girls in this movie when it would make more sense to protect Emma Robert’s character since, you know, she’s carrying Peter Parker who could one day accidentally kill Ezekiel in the future. They all looked at me as if no one considered this for a second.

As a paramedic who works with other paramedics, I can safely say that a paramedic with a lack of empathy is actually one of the most accurate on-screen depictions we've ever gotten. And we don't get a lot of those.

The movie completely brushes past how Missus Webb lures an emergency helicopter to the explosion factory and causes the death of like 3 or 4 innocent people. What a hero.

My wife is a paramedic. You start the job caring about... anything. For a few months. Then after a year you've seen so much shit you kinda just burn out your empathy and become Dakota Johnson. So honestly. This is pretty accurate.

Maybe I just wasn’t paying enough attention, but did Evil Spider-Man use his computer to see what the spider girls would look like younger, using images pulled straight from a magical vision he had?

The PSP was obviously a vision from the future, it’s why she was so confused - nobody could imagine the power such a machine held in 2003

The segment talking about Dakota Johnson lying for fun was hilarious 😭

Dakota Johnson's superpower is that she can make anyone in the room feel instantly uncomfortable when being asked relevant questions.

Fun fact dakota johnson fired her agent after this movie