Body Language Expert: Stop Using This, It’s Making People Dislike You, So Are These Subtle Mistakes!
The Diary Of A CEO
14,134,228 views
Vanessa Van Edwards is the founder of ‘Science of People’, which gives people science-backed skills to improve communication and leadership. She is also the bestselling author of ‘Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People’ and ‘Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication'.
00:00 Intro
02:13 The Crucial Role of Cues for Success
03:45 I'm a Recovered Awkward Person
05:36 What's an Ambivert
07:28 One Word Can Change the Way People Think
09:39 The Most Fundamental Skill to Invest In
12:41 The Resting B*tch Face Effect
16:01 Do Not Fake Smile!
18:29 The 97 Cues to Be Warm & Competent
21:44 The Formula to a Perfect Conversation
24:37 Science Reveals Why Some People Are Extremely Popular
28:34 Message People Telling Them This...
33:22 The Luck Experiment
35:05 Being Around Successful People Is Contagious
41:55 The Importance of Hand Gestures
43:38 Hand Tricks to Be Liked
54:15 The Scientific Formula to Be More Charismatic
56:47 The Danger Zone of Being Too Warm or Competent
58:45 The Power Cues
1:07:55 How to Spot a Liar
1:15:23 If You've Been Told You're Intimidating, Do This
1:18:37 Don't Let Anyone Use This With You
1:21:45 The 6 Questions to Connect With Someone
1:34:20 Leaning Too Much Towards Someone...
1:39:03 How to Greet Someone
1:49:42 How to Master Messaging
1:54:40 Personal Branding
1:59:01 Improve Your Dating Life With These Tips
2:04:27 Body Language and Brain Connection
2:06:33 Are You Awkward? Watch This
2:10:14 How to Get Someone to Approach You
2:15:08 How to Make Friends as an Adult
2:18:57 AirPods Are Killing Friendships
2:22:16 Ads
2:24:08 How to Spot a Liar
2:30:05 Toxic Relationships
2:32:34 How to Start a Conversation With a Stranger
2:37:00 How to Get Started With All This Knowledge
Follow Vanessa:
Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/cm3A7r1O6Ob
Twitter - https://g2ul0.app.link/IVgMiQ3O6Ob
Science of People - https://g2ul0.app.link/5LJ8mO5O6Ob
You can access the images mentioned, here: https://linktr.ee/diaryofaceostudies
Conversation by Vanessa Van Edwards is a science-backed guide that teaches you how to master small talk, build instant rapport, and communicate with authentic confidence in any social situation. Pre-order now: https://linkly.link/2nCMM
You can purchase Vanessa’s book, ‘Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication’, here: https://amzn.to/3ZFzkcT
You can purchase the The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards: Second Edition, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/f31dsUttKKb
Get access to exclusive Diary of a CEO content: @thediaryofaceo
Sponsors:
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20 Comments
Wow that's a revelation and at same time so obvious! 😮
- no fake smiles, cheekbones
- liking a lot of people makes you likeable 25:24
- aggressively liking people, assuring them of how much you like them
- name in your head the cues you get from people
- show your palms to people
- use your hand gestures
- open body language
- charisma - warmth and confidence
- eye-contact at the end of a sentence or when the other person is saying something important 60-70%
- lower lid flex while listening to
- downward inflection 1:09:44
- how to make someone agree with you 1:20:07
- involving people in what you are saying by asking questions „you wanna hear this?“ „you know how it has ended?“
3 magic phrases:
- i was just thinking of you
- you are always so….
- last time we talked you mentioned…
warmth cues:
-tripple nod 1:17:07
-head tilt, like dogs do (while you‘re listening or when delivering bad news) 1:18:35
- leaning into people 1:21:10
- reaching 1:37:44
questions:
-no asking how do you do
-„are you working on anything exciting recently?“
-„what is your biggest goal right now?“
-„what book/movie character is the most like you?“
1:53:20 dropping your shoe
What an eloquent way to illustrate it.
Yet I felt such a pang in my heart around 17 minutes in when he said he doesn’t have a good smile, and then showed his closed-mouth smile for pictures. It looked like someone trying to be happy. When he did the exercise where he bit his finger and then smiled as big as possible, it transformed his expression. It showed the full force of his personality and was a glimpse at what Steven is like when he lets loose and is all in - which he likely feels a lot more than he shows.
It’s an amazing visualization of what happens when we think things like, “I don’t have a nice smile so I will tone it down.” It’s so much more than, “I’m not showing my teeth.” I totally get it if you don’t like your teeth, and Vanessa made the point that it’s about different muscles, not the ones around your mouth. Most of us are our harshest critics - there’s nothing wrong with Steven’s smile if he shows his teeth! Yet we don’t necessarily just have to ignore or forcefully overcome our discomfort either, we can focus on the true cues that matter.
I love Vanessa.
Thank you Steven for exposing us to these amazing people
Body Language Expert: Stop Using This, It’s Making People Dislike You, So Are These Subtle Mistakes!
The Diary Of A CEO
14,134,228 views
Vanessa Van Edwards is the founder of ‘Science of People’, which gives people science-backed skills to improve communication and leadership. She is also the bestselling author of ‘Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People’ and ‘Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication'.
00:00 Intro
02:13 The Crucial Role of Cues for Success
03:45 I'm a Recovered Awkward Person
05:36 What's an Ambivert
07:28 One Word Can Change the Way People Think
09:39 The Most Fundamental Skill to Invest In
12:41 The Resting B*tch Face Effect
16:01 Do Not Fake Smile!
18:29 The 97 Cues to Be Warm & Competent
21:44 The Formula to a Perfect Conversation
24:37 Science Reveals Why Some People Are Extremely Popular
28:34 Message People Telling Them This...
33:22 The Luck Experiment
35:05 Being Around Successful People Is Contagious
41:55 The Importance of Hand Gestures
43:38 Hand Tricks to Be Liked
54:15 The Scientific Formula to Be More Charismatic
56:47 The Danger Zone of Being Too Warm or Competent
58:45 The Power Cues
1:07:55 How to Spot a Liar
1:15:23 If You've Been Told You're Intimidating, Do This
1:18:37 Don't Let Anyone Use This With You
1:21:45 The 6 Questions to Connect With Someone
1:34:20 Leaning Too Much Towards Someone...
1:39:03 How to Greet Someone
1:49:42 How to Master Messaging
1:54:40 Personal Branding
1:59:01 Improve Your Dating Life With These Tips
2:04:27 Body Language and Brain Connection
2:06:33 Are You Awkward? Watch This
2:10:14 How to Get Someone to Approach You
2:15:08 How to Make Friends as an Adult
2:18:57 AirPods Are Killing Friendships
2:22:16 Ads
2:24:08 How to Spot a Liar
2:30:05 Toxic Relationships
2:32:34 How to Start a Conversation With a Stranger
2:37:00 How to Get Started With All This Knowledge
Follow Vanessa:
Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/cm3A7r1O6Ob
Twitter - https://g2ul0.app.link/IVgMiQ3O6Ob
Science of People - https://g2ul0.app.link/5LJ8mO5O6Ob
You can access the images mentioned, here: https://linktr.ee/diaryofaceostudies
Conversation by Vanessa Van Edwards is a science-backed guide that teaches you how to master small talk, build instant rapport, and communicate with authentic confidence in any social situation. Pre-order now: https://linkly.link/2nCMM
You can purchase Vanessa’s book, ‘Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication’, here: https://amzn.to/3ZFzkcT
You can purchase the The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards: Second Edition, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/f31dsUttKKb
Get access to exclusive Diary of a CEO content: @thediaryofaceo
Sponsors:
Shopify - https://shopify.com/bartlett
Linkedin Jobs - LinkedIn: doac
ZOE - http://joinzoe.com with code STEVEN10 for 10% off