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The Emotional Side of AuDHD No One Sees (What ADHD + Autism Feels Like)

AuDHD Hub

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Living with AuDHD (autism + ADHD) often means carrying an emotional weight that most people never notice. It’s not just about focus, sensory input, or executive function, it’s about the hidden shame, guilt, and dread that build up when you spend years being misunderstood.

In this video, we’ll explore:
• Why the emotional side of AuDHD hurts so deeply
• How high-masking adults carry invisible struggles
• Why late-diagnosed AuDHD adults often feel shame, guilt, or self-doubt
• What it really feels like to live with both ADHD and autism

If you’ve ever wondered what “AuDHD feels like” beyond traits and checklists, this video is for you. You’re not broken... you’ve been surviving in a world that wasn’t built for your brain.

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🩵 𝐉𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐮𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐇𝐮𝐛 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 🩵
Here, we make sense of AuDHD together. You belong, and you matter.

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👉 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐓𝐮𝐛𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: @audhdhub
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🎥 𝐀𝐮𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 — 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭:
👉 What is AuDHD? Understanding Combined Autism and ADHD
👉 ADHD vs Autism vs AuDHD ADHD vs Autism vs AuDHD (how to tell the d...
👉 How AuDHD Feels What AuDHD Really Feels Like (It’s Not Jus...
👉 5 Super Common AuDHD Experiences 5 Signs of ADHD + Autism (Common AuDHD Exp...

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#audhd #adhd #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #audhdhub

⚠️ Please Note: I’m not a medical or mental health professional. This video is based on my lived experience as an AuDHD adult and is intended for validation and self-understanding—not as a substitute for clinical advice or diagnosis.

20 Comments

@AuDHDHub Creator 1 year ago Pinned

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@geoffreynolds3157 1 year ago

Man I have felt so alone in all of these feelings. Knowing I’m not the only one helps.

@andreas3330 1 year ago

I was in kindergarten the first time I experienced that sense of "what just happened? What did I do wrong?" That was 42 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. By the time I finished elementary school, I had essentially stopped talking in classes, unless I was spoken to. But, because I didn't cause trouble, didn't have any intellectual or learning disabilities, I was simply labeled, "quiet, shy, doesn't live up to her potential." The shame, the guilt, the fear, they're there, always just under the surface, keeping me quiet when I do have something to contribute. Instead, I observe, I take in, I process everything. I take an inordinate amount of time to open up, and when I do, and receive negative feedback, I shutdown and that individual, especially if it's just an acquaintance and not a trusted friend, doesn't get to experience what I have to contribute again for a very long time, if ever.

@OnlyGoodMusicThumsUp 6 months ago

The minutes of these videos are the only minutes I feel understood.

@spencerdeumer-nt2eu 1 year ago

Your video not only resonates with me, it is me. It only took me 70 years to realize it was AuDHD. Hearing your thoughts really gives me a layer of comfort and more understanding of myself.
Work in progress.
Thank You, Karen

@PhoenixRaeDawson25 5 months ago

I'm just angry now...I'm so tired...50 years and I've lost everything trying to just be me.

@liliabellafiori4790 6 months ago

Since realizing that I am AuDHD at age 40 or so, my feelings of guilt and shame have started being replaced by anger. I feel like my whole life has been some version of me defending my existence. The newest trigger: being told in my performance review at work that I am recognized as very competent and a high performer, but people are "scared of me," and would rather work with the other people on my team, and "it's the way you make people feel." Meanwhile, I go out of my way to consciously smile in meetings, sign my emails with "warmly" and "hope you have a great day!" and am genuinely kind and supportive of others. But apparently me being kind is actually me being scary and difficult. Honestly, wtaf. It is so demoralizing to work so hard to be acceptable to others, and still be told that you're unlikeable. I'm so over it.

@sharonboggs 1 year ago

As a 65 y/o AuDHD woman this brought me to tears. Autism and ADHD weren't a thing in 60s and even when ADHD began to be recognized it was only with hyperactive boys. I was officially diagnosed with ADHD in my mid 40s and unofficially with autism in my mid 50s (by a psychologist I worked with who worked with children with autism. Even took tests). Even then I didn't realize all the nuances of the diagnoses. I ended up retiring early (to my financial detriment) because I couldn't hang in there any longer. I was totally burned out and was almost non-functional. It wasn't until I retired that I began my deep dive into what it means to have ADHD and autism AND have them combined into one diagnosis. So many things started to make sense. My neurodivergency doesn't excuse any of my past behaviors but it does explain a lot of it. Unfortunately the end result is always the same regardless of the intent. It took me a couple of years to reduce the shame and I'm still working on the guilt and embarrassment from some of my meltdown behaviors at inopportune times. The woulda/coulda/shouldas haunt me still. Any kind of support would have been helpful.

@PurlsB4Wine 8 months ago

I get disinvited from birthday parties and weddings bc someone will find out that I was invited and say they’re not going if I’m there. I’ve had work hours cut bc people refused to work with me even though I was the hardest worker they had. That affects my ability to pay my bills. I don’t even fit in, in Alcoholics Anonymous. Now I’m almost 50 and I’ve completely separated myself from society. Screw them all.

@alisonrowe8740 3 months ago

I'm sat here crying my eyes out.. this validates so much. I've just always felt like a person who just can't function like everyone else.. an alien to others. I hate being perceived and I can't stand injustice. I feel like 36 yrs of my life had been robbed and no-one saw the signs.. my parents, teachers etc.. how can this go unnoticed for so long and I've suffered so bad. What do I do.. just accept that this is me now?

@LilyCat-t6t 6 months ago

That phrase 'someone squints at you in a meeting' is so true. I used to call it The Stare. I'd make friends with someone and it was going well, then one day, they would give me The Stare. A look of total incomprehension, confusion, misunderstanding. And that would be the end of the friendship. They would disappear in a puff of smoke.
Well I totally gave up 6 years ago. Due to physical health problems and inability to make friends, I gave up leaving the house. I stay at home 24/7 now. Somehow I acquired a husband and daughter, I stick with them now and rarely meet anyone else. Life is much quieter and easier now. Obviously it's not ideal but I've just given up on ever making friends.

@PhoticSneezeOne 1 year ago

Once i stopped caring what random, mostly ignorant or plainout shallow people think, my life drastically improved!

@plsdontscreamatme 1 year ago

'you're not your shame. you're not your guilt. you're not your worst moment' - really got me. i had to pause the video for a second to not ball my eyes out. thank you for saying that. i think a lot of us needed this words of validation. thank you.

thank you so much for your videos. i always send them to my family and my partner and they started to understand me better.

@J-Hildebrand 2 days ago

This is me 100% and it is so unbelievably lonely.

I have no friends. Sometimes I wonder why I'm even here.

@unnamedauthor-e5h 1 year ago (edited)

This video is so valid. AuDHD can feel much like a character flaw! We feel that so intensely as part of a dissociative system on top of AuDHD. Anyone watching this who thought u were the only one who felt these paradoxical feelings and emotions, you are not alone! So many of us are walking the same path. Take care ❤

On a personal note to OP: thank you for your content. We are higher support needs (HSN) and videos that are calm & don’t have distracting background are so appreciated. So often we see AuDHD and autistic content that seems geared more toward LSN folx which is wonderful in its own right, yet those often leaves us feeling misunderstood and dysregulated.

@hollyw9566 1 year ago (edited)

What I did was start drinking. I drank at every social situation I could. It helped, but it created its own problems. Boy oh boy did it ever. So I really messed up a lot. I'd do great on something, and then abandon it. (A full scholarship to Boston University, that I just didn't even bother to follow up on. A job with a congress critter, and I didn't even call the next day).More scared of success than failure, because to fall from a great height would be SO much worse.

@JennNinjakittenCootware 8 months ago

It really sucks having undiagnosed AuDHD for 50 years and not knowing where your AuDHD as an issue ends and your narcissistic parents making issues for you begins... and then not knowing or understanding this until you are too disabled to even work

@LieutenantDear 1 year ago

Deep, ingrained shame about who I am and what I look like is one of the greatest obstacles in my life. No matter how many decades of theray I have under my belt, deep down, I am convinced that I am too ugly, too fat, and too broken to have the right to participate in society.

@kirssta8706 8 months ago

I just found this video and it explains my whole life. I knew something was different about me, but I could never identify it before. It didn’t seem like ADHD or Autism. I never thought it could be both.

@tamagokokoro 3 weeks ago

The desire of wanting to connect with other people and make new friends and then them judging you for the parts of you that make you, you, especially when you do something vulnerable like unmask is the part that really hit home with me here. The neuroarchy is a ruthless, violent beast.