I am a borderliner that avoids all sex and intimate realationship due to the stress and pain that it is causing.

Anyone who stumbles into this video. My fiancee (undiagnosed BPD) love her still, when she drank she turned into a monster. Fair warning id advise you avoid them. In the end she died a tragic sudden death. I still love her left my mind destroyed

Every time I quit one form of self-harm, I start another one. The possibilities are endless.

It’s seriously crazy how much a combination of CPTSD, ADD and codependency can look just like BPD. Throw alcohol/addiction and major nervous system dysregulation into the mix and the resemblance is uncanny

I rarely find a medical professional who talks about bpd in a way that feels accurate to my experience

Yo what a fucked up situation to step into, dealing with someone like this when you don't realize it (or didn't want to realize it).

Great video. Not much has been spoken about the violent traits of the BPD. My ex girlfriend of 3 years was extremely violent. She would fight at the slightest perceived threat. She consistently abused me and vandalized my belongings. Finally as we were riding in my car and I told her I couldn't take it anymore, she pulls a knife from her bag and stabs me. As I drove to the hospital she let me know all the reasons I deserved it.  Shes now awaiting a grand jury trial.

You're very good at understanding BPD. It's unbelievable actually. I feel like I'm listening to biography to the exact details.

I cried through most of the lecture. I left during triangulation, because I don't tolerate cheating. I told her to seek help in anger. I feel like a such a pieace of sh*t. This is so sad. I don't know how to live with this knowledge. To anyone struggling with this. Please, don't hate yourself. You are not a monster. Just a very hurt human being. Please find help. You deserve a life and a loving partner.

You deserve a ton of supply..great video. Can't even tell you how great  it is  .  thank you

Partner devaluation is also done by narcissists 😮

Woah. I have BPD and the thing u said about the self harm with men.... weird how accurate. I don’t even get my head but u do

I was diagnosed with bpd, bi polar, adhd and cptsd all in 2020. Was the first time I have ever been seen by a professional for anything. My sexual abuse trauma started at 4 years old with members of my family.. followed by having no dad and an alcoholic and abusive mother. Bpd is definitely a roller coaster but I am so thankful for you Professor because you’ve taught me so much about myself and the way I think. It constantly aids me in my daily living. Thank you.

Hi Sam, a humble request, please share some insights on borderline men, whenever you can. Many thanks for the great content.

She defiles herself

Thank you for explaining what happened to me in my most recent relationship. Word for word. Crazy sh%t. I'm free at last 🎉

As a former addict and current addiction counselor, I really resonate with this. We need your unique way of interpreting human behavior Sam Vaknin!

Thank you so much for clearing this up for me, A short version of my story was I was studying to complete my engineering degree, and I had no time to see her. So one night I received a phone call while studying that she is out drunk and crying over me. I contacted her to find out where she was she told me, i drove there and upon my arrival as I stopped behind her car, there was a young man leaning in by her window with his phone out. I got out of my car which was parked behind hers and as i approached them he ran toward his car which was parked in front of hers. I reached her window and asked what was going on to which she replied its nothing the guy was just checking she was okay. Long story short i asked her to come home with me as she could not drive in her state, to which she replied, no its okay she will go home. I stood there and spoke with her and got her a coca cola from a nearby garage to assist to sober her up. I was there for about an hour trying to convince to her to which she eventually told me , please know she loves me but this between us must stop and end. I asked her to please answer her phone as I want to know that she gets home safely. Regardless I called she multiple times after I let her drive she did not answer. The next morning I received a phone call from a family member of hers asking if she is by me as she did not come home. I immediately worried and began to  contact multiple hospitals. It was later that morning I received a call she is home now. I only realized later and after this video what she had actually done that evening with the young guy who was standing by her car window. It still haunts me however Sam, I am so greatful that you have assisted to help me understand this disorder. God Bless.

I think more than than simply self sabotaging because the bpd thinks they deserve it, but a desire to stop the 'emptiness' when things are somewhat peaceful. Going back to a relationship fulfills a feeling of connection even if its painful. To feel something. Just as those who cut... they do to 'feel' .

Haha "More than 50 shades" slipped one in there, right? Dr Sam. Good One. As always brilliant insights. Much Love.