📺 Watch the full episode here -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz_SJ5TpLJ0&ab_channel=TheDiaryOfACEO

One thing my mentor taught me a long time ago that worked well for me was this: focus on the people that respect you and the rest will follow eventually. I have found that to be true for me.

Without my glasses, this is Lady Gaga schooling British Will Smith.

She's an impressive woman. Not passive, but also not unnecessarily assertive or domineering.

Instead of hating the person who keeps disrespecting you, just move on from that old version of you that gave them power over you. Every time I encounter or work with difficult people, I am grateful to meet them because I need to improve myself to be better in establishing boundaries

"do you have anything beneficial to say? If no then don't talk." this is very very good.

Ifvyou are too nice, too good, people will perceive it as weakness

That is absolutely true. "Silence is a source of great strength." Lao Tzu quote.

They teach this in US Marine Corps leadership training. They call it command voice and command presence. Has been very helpful for me ever since learning it.

I love how she said make sure you are really being disrespected and it’s not just your ego cause someone pushed back! That is so good!! This is not dictatorship

'Half the meetings I go to, I don't speak'. I love this lady! I have worked in quite a few companies where the managers and the directors suffered from 'meetingitis', i.e. we'd spend several hours a week and sometimes a day in meetings... totally fruitless. Just platforms for their egos...
'When I'm the least smart person in the room, I am happy'. Definitely the opposite of a narcissist!

You teach people how to treat you!

I was mentored from the start of my career by high-level Japanese factory managers. The basic philosophy was that leadership is responsible for providing the necessary and sufficient conditions for subordinates to succeed. And when they did not succeed (short of sabotage and blatantly disregarding rules/procedures, a rarity), then the leader must reflect on what conditions they did not sufficiently provide, and rectify the situation accordingly. To sum it up, the shit tended to roll uphill in the Japanese factories that I worked with.

Watch out with never speaking in meetings because you are too concerned with your ‘contribution’ score. If you are silent, the person who speaks will get higher up in the corporate ladder, you will be ignored and overlooked at. So what to do? Something that helped me immensely to add to the conversation is ASKING QUESTIONS. 3 things happen when you do this; 1. You are talking, so people notice you. 2. You will be considered as a critical thinker, because you ask questions. 3. You will have added value because 9 times out of 10, other people have the same or similar questions but don’t say anything.

I like the fact that she applies what she says. In the first 4 mins. of this interview, when he started talking, she immediately went silent and let him speak.

As a teacher I use this stuff all the time.  Sometimes just slowing down, giving extra attention to enunciation, changing my posture (leaning in, etc), and dropping my volume is all it takes to get their attention focused back on me.

At 7:10 you talk about setting up initial boundaries and not being people's friend, and then later you can relax.  I learned this as a substitute teacher.  I was given this advice before I started, but couldn't follow it for real at first, and would give in too soon.  If I was soft during the first 15 minutes, the rest of the day would be a nightmare.  If I was super strict during the first 15 minutes, even a little cranky, after that I could be buddies with the kids and things would go smooth.  It was all about the first 15 minutes of my time with a class, and I watched the clock to make sure I didn't relax too soon.  If I didn't set the standard then, it was almost impossible to get control at a later point no matter how angry and punishing I became.
It was crazy to watch this in real time.  I leaned to put off my morning cup of coffee till I was already at school so the kids could meet me when I had no tolerance for nonsense.  Halfway through the day, I'd let them call me by me first name and could just relax.  Sometimes I hated being a hardass during the first bit of class, but it was the key.  Other substitute teachers gave me this advice, it took me a few weeks to figure out how to put it into action, since it way not my natural personality.  But I learned from this that I could have control and be friends too, it was all about timing.  

Because of this experience, I try hard not to judge people by first impressions.  It's challenging, but manipulative people instinctively know that if they make a good first impression they can screw around later and use it as a key manipulation tactic.  I am now overly suspicious of people who make too good of a first impression.  I was the opposite, I would get anxious and overwhelmed when I don't know people and often make a bad first impression and then work hard to show my worth.  While I'd get verbal compliments on my performance and positive reviews, others would get promoted who were clearly doing less and there seems to be no way to undue that first impression.  I want to see people for who they are, I've noticed how most people are fooled, even when later consistent evidence makes it so clear that someone is not who they pretended to be at first.  I want to be the person who rewards good work and sees everyone for who they are, even if they are nervous or awkward, and isn't just going on impressions.

I AM THE ONE WHO SETS THE TONE……….that’s so good!!!!!!

"I set the tone", this is how I handle my meetings. Love how she said it!

Tbh every time im in a group of people i notice im always talked over or interrupted. I use to rage over it, now i simply sit back and say nothing until my presence in the conversation is noticed to missing. If its not noticed i know what circle to leave.