Check out the full episode here ➡https://youtu.be/oI7BxBNp1uE

“We’re not free to love just anyone, we love in tracks laid down for us by our childhoods”

Couldn’t be put any more nicely 👌🏻

This guy is a true wordsmith and can explain things better than most.

From my experience,  if you let go of the idea of romanticism and start to approach your relationship with the belief that love is a skill to be learned, your relationship improves by every conceivable measure, or you truly realise that you are not compatible.

I've said this countless times in relationships.. I'M NOT A MIND READER!!! I am BIG on communication and having the hard conversations to resolve problems.. and with maturity Ive also learned its not what you say, but how you say it..

I "LOVE" the idea of learning Love as a skill instead of a fleeting emotion 🫶🏿 the world needs more true love!

I don’t know why we don’t see Alain more often in popular podcasts. He is so knowledgeable.

Yes the sulking piece and mind reading piece is a big one. It’s one of the most annoying expectations we have as humans to assume everyone around us should know what’s wrong without actually being told. I grew up always immediately blocking or turning away because of ptsd.. fight or flight and avoid conflict. But I’ve always been big on saying how I feel most times before I do so. These days most people grow up in abusive or disjointed households. If every high schooler or junior higher got counselling and life skill help and training on communication. World would be a different place.

I'm under the feeling the expectation of mind reading might come from childhood/motherhood. It's an expected skill to be a mindreader since your babies, toddlers and children cannot efficiently put feelings into words. But your partner is not your mum nor dad. My experience is that it is often women who expect men to do the mind reading and it is often women who have the better mind-reading skills, hence why I'm gendering it to motherhood.

I like DOAC but honestly, Alain de Botton isn’t just a „love expert“. He wrote many bestsellers and made The School of Life - one of the best yt channels out there about culture, relationships, mental health or philosophy…and probably even more stuff I am just not aware of.

My favourite thing at the moment is the concept of, is it love or attachment? Love ❤️ is for the happiness of others, attachment is for the self and ego. We are attached to the people we love but to check the motivation

I desperately needed to hear that my survival behaviors I learned in childhood were a really clever way to survive an intolerable situation. And to be told "Good for you, that was clever of you" was absolutely amazing to hear.

I love Alain de Bottom! His work in School of Life is amazing.

Brilliant explanation of love as a skill that needs to be studied and honed!

wonderful interview! Thanks for sharing. When my husband (36 years and counting...) received marriage guidance from our local priest, the very first thing he told us was to keep communicating, because we cannot read each others' minds.

Wow, this man is a wonderful teacher! Listening to his explanation of romantics you can only think: how disconnected from reality were these dreamers? Their expectations are simply impossible and can only set you up for disappointment.

How well addressed and spoken about this complex nature of us with such clarity and compassion. Love this episode!

The last piece about past "craziness" is brilliant.

He's got the most distinct voice!

WOW I RECOGNIZE HIS VOICE FROM HIS VIDEO S I didn't even know it was the same guy wow, lovely voice

I can listen to this guest’s voice forever. Seriously, FOREVER. Such a beautiful intonation and the voice itself is soooo soothing

this voice ...
the school of life