robert pattinson boring his stalker into not stalking him anymore is the funniest shit ive ever heard

“Love is a burning thing, and it makes a Philipy ring”

I can’t. I just can’t.

"Somehow this person has gotten attached to three letters, racism, and liking a sports team."

I've fallen in love for less

imagine if bro went through all this and his names not even phil.

This is my favorite quote from the Philmarilion

“My parents delight in telling me the story of how I would excrete onto the floor then try to sit on the excrement like an egg. This can be seen now in my nurturing nature, I care for UTV like I cared for that feces egg.”

14:46 “‘Ironic’ stalking and obsession is STILL stalking and obsession.” THANK YOU

You could honestly teach an entire psychology class using purely 4chan stories

You know you're absolutely off it when you shock 4chan.

"The Archiver". It sounds like the most harmless, yet creepiest Batman villain ever. We're heading in that territory. What possessed this sad man?

Dude, the fact that I thought UTV was gonna be the stalker, it genuinely shocked me when you said HE was the one who got a stalker. Great vid btw!

I feel like archiver made this as a joke first and then actually got invested into a parasocial relationship

9:31 "his responses are good natured banter with humorous intentions that show the sweet, tender relationship that we share together"

The response : "Fuck off"

remember stalkers aren't always fans, some haters go that far as well

no matter how many times i hear the utv stalker story i will always be utterly baffled by it

Theories
1-The Archiver hated trips so he was just trying to drive UTV off the site.
2 - The Archiver knew UTV in real life and was just messing with his friend for fun
3 - UTV was the archiver and was doing it for more attention
4 - This is just some kind of obscure outsider art project.
5 - The Archiver had some kind of obsessive mental illness.

How terrible do you have to be for 4 chan to unanimously agree that you are bad?

Fun fact: you don't have to be glamorous or extremely gorgeous to be stalked. I know someone who was stalked for 2 years who is an average person living an average life.
I think a lot of people have this misconception that only celebrities/super beautiful/interesting people get stalked, but truth is, there are lots of crazies who don't need any of those reasons. There was a girl who was stalked, had her family murdered, and was kidnapped by a man all because she was nice to hime once. People are crazy.

11:36 I was slowly losing it at the “Ring of Phillip”, and the ransom note just pushed me over the edge. Whether it’s a genuine obsession or just a god-tier shitpost, it’s absolutely hilarious.

A quote from 13:45 to clarify my thoughts: “Laugh at it anon. Just laugh at it, or you will cry.”

Do you like The Archiver? Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when The Philmarilion came out in 2013, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole document has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to HWNDU, but I think The Archiver has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Ring of Phillip", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of Phillip, and the importance of love, it's also a personal statement about The Archiver himself.
HEY UTV!

"Every slur you call
every foot you ball
I'll be watching you"

Stg, I wrote that before it got to the song parody part