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Actual Avoidant Describes the Exact Moment Avoidants Realize They Lost You

UNDERSTANDABLE

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Welcome to today's episode! Today I describe how the moment feels when an avoidant realizes they lost their partner.

► Links and Resources:
The Neuroscience Behind Avoidant Attachment Video: Healed Avoidant Exposes the Neuroscience B...
8 Phases of How I Healed my Avoidant Attachment Patterns Video: Ex-Avoidant: How I Finally Healed My Avoid...

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► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
01:10 The Dating Phase
02:26 The Deactivation Switch
06:30 The Breakup Moment
08:50 The Exact Moment of Realization
12:18 Emotional Cycle Visualization
18:00 Three Avoidant Motivations
22:00 Moving Toward Security

► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: info@understandable.net

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

20 Comments

@understandablepodcast Creator 3 months ago Pinned

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@joanwilliams3849 2 months ago

So tired of making excuses for these life wrecking immature jerks

@LiveAerosmith 3 months ago

Avoidant people want all the advantages of a relationship without being in one. I endured three months with an ex and ended up breaking up. All the distancing, hot and cold treatment, push-and-pull behavior, not communicating for days, doing whatever they want and not caring about you at all. Get out of there as soon as possible for your own well-being and find someone who is willing to be with you on the same journey. PS: Even a person with secure attachment becomes anxious in a situation like this, and the nervous system reacts accordingly.

@krasnoz6 1 month ago

The avoidant I knew had very high standards for their partners. For themselves, not so much.

@jflsdknf 3 months ago

Avoidants are just children, they were severely stunted by trauma. Children get scared of adult things like responsibilities conflict and accountability and run away and throw temper tantrums.

@mgn1621 1 month ago

I am gone. Breadcrumbs does not equal communication.

@JoannaBorne 2 months ago

My ex was avoidant, made progress for years, then reverted, and left suddenly, after 5 years…. The disregard was brutal. It’s like I was thrown in the trash.

@beautifulspirit2973 3 months ago

Well he’s lost me forever. I don’t play mind games.

@Projectmanagerclinic 1 month ago

You know I started to listen to this after five years with my avoidant ex and then I thought, you know what I’m sick of the excuses. These people are so damaging. It’s cruelty on steroids. I don’t care whether they’ve got emotional problems. They really should stay right away from people. The damage is just shocking.

@ISUNDERSTOOD 3 months ago (edited)

some avoidant's do want to be in relationships they just don't ever want to go through conflict which isn't realistic, they are very self centered, selfish, and shut down the moment things get hard or require any type of vulnerability, they love convenience, surface level chatter, and when things are light and easy.

@MusicFromNowhere 2 months ago

If you pull the rug out enough times, you ruin their trust. Fools.

@Apbt-rv7zw 2 months ago

Just stay away from Avoidants unless they heal and do the hard work.

@User_-_8472_-_resU 3 months ago

Having just bean "dismissed" by someone I believe has an avoidant personality, I think it's profoundly sad that they will go through life this way. I wonder how many of them end up dying alone. I was "dismissed very suddenly after the first argument after (what I thought was a great weekend) and that nearly broke me. I honestly don't remember crying so hard for so long over anything else. I've never been so shocked by someone else's actions. I usually see everything coming. I didn't see that though. I feel most sorry for all the heartbreak they leave in their wake.

@urMYangel777 3 months ago

There was no break up...he just ghosted me as soon as i asked for a bit more communication.

@Katwithjoy 3 months ago

My beloved avoidant showed up after several weeks of silence. I took a deep breath and tried not being pushy or demanding told him about effects from disappearances on me. Apologies. Appropriate apologies, but they don't change the picture. Take another deep breath and if the boundaries are violated, try not to grieve for too long and move forward. Wish my dear avoidant to find courage to start healing

@ahnafrafa-d9u 4 days ago

If you constantly overthink conversations, decisions or small mistakes, try Anwen Reid’s anxiety quiz. The result might help you understand where that reaction is coming from.

@heidigroben-h5q 1 month ago

Still hearing the avoidant in this video. No expression of how much pain they cause their partner. All about what they can gain from the relationship.

@AuraByAura 2 months ago

i was avoidant because i thought can do better, now older don't want to hurt or waste people time for selfless reasons

@AuraByAura 2 months ago

avoid avoidants please, before they suck life out of u

@Barbara-l4u7v 3 months ago

I met my avoidant during a time I was traumatised,looking back it was Limerance,I never knew what Limerance was but I bloody do now,Xmas this year I had the misfortune of him coming into my life it was so amazing at first,he was a fake deeply spiritual person it was meant to be,six months later I'm trying to recover,the crying was like a pain in my heart,tonight I asked him to eff off,his bags are ready ,please send me strength,I pray I never go through this again sorry for the dramatic post🇬🇧🦋🥀