The Hidden Cost of Convenience for Our Kids
Good Inside
28,164 views
When you make things easier for your kid, you're trading off against something else — here's the hidden cost of convenience, and how to think about the balance.
Dr. Becky explains why resilience is built, not born, and why frustration is actually your child's friend, not their enemy. Through real parent Q&As on boredom, quitting hobbies, and meltdowns, she shows how a little discomfort today builds the coping skills kids need for tomorrow.
0:00 Intro: living in a world of one-tap convenience
1:33 The Blockbuster story: what waiting for a movie used to teach us
7:07 Idea 1: resilience is built, not born
16:16 Idea 2: frustration is our friend, not our enemy
17:12 Idea 3: it's not our job to bring big feelings to zero
19:28 Parent Q&A: the "I'm bored" complaint in the car
23:23 Parent Q&A: when your kid wants to quit piano (or any hobby)
26:11 Parent Q&A: the "I can't do it" bench — how to respond to meltdowns
Watch Next: Modeling Frustration Tolerance - Modeling Frustration Tolerance, One Mistak...
GET MORE FROM GOOD INSIDE / https://bit.ly/4vBKoV8
#resilience #raisingkids #raisingresilientkids #frustration
Get the Good Inside App by Dr. Becky: https://bit.ly/4fSxbzk
Your Good Inside membership might be eligible for HSA/FSA reimbursement! To learn more about how to get your membership reimbursed, check out the link here: https://www.goodinside.com/fsa-hsa-el...
Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: Instagram: drbeckyatgoodinside
Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newslette
For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast.
Thank you to our sponsor Hot Wheels. Check out our full series with Hot Wheels at hotwheels.com/challengeaccepted.
At Good Inside, we’re shifting the narrative - away from instinct and toward education - because parenting isn’t something that just comes naturally. And the first step to real, cycle-breaking change? Understanding yourself—and the patterns you fall into.
I’ve said it before: every parent has a pattern. But have you ever stopped to ask… what’s yours? Take the free quiz at goodinside.com/better to discover your parenting pattern.
20 Comments
2 years later (now shes almost 10) she randomly says “I like hard times because I rather do hard things because it makes me better”.
This is all really hard in the moment. I’ve also taken the specific actions to show her that I do hard and scary things, and show her how it’s hard for me but has made me better. Now she’s seeing that she’s capable.
2. She also goes to Taekwondo, and for sparring, she has to wear a bunch of gear. Initially, I used to do it for her. After I listened to one of your episodes, I stopped and made her do it. It takes 15 minutes to put that on. In the beginning of the transition, she screamed and threw tantrums. With that frustration, we have arrived at a point where she can do it by herself, and she inspired a few other older kids and parents around her.
3. My son last night came home so emotional that he had prepared so hard for the test, and he believed he messed it up. I was with him during that time and validated him. I promised him to be his emotional support, and this morning he said he could bounce back with some support.
I am so grateful for all that you teach, Dr. Becky, which I never knew existed.
Yet when you look at the current modern western economy, with its leadership predominantly being that same demographic complaining about people being entitled and never wanting to work for anything. Are the exact same people who are exploiting everyone to maximize reward (profit) for the minimum effort. They want to replace everyone with AI because it sounds like a quick fix for them to get their next hit of money.
Despite the clear fact that they themselves tell us all the time, that for anything to last, you need to put in the work, you need to build steady, reliable, supported, and well maintained infrastructures in order for anything to last.
The modern world has become addicted to convenience and will sacrifice extremely important foundational aspects in order to get what's convenient, regardless of what damage it causes.
Teach people how to do things the hard way, make sure they properly understand the foundations, THEN teach them how we've been able to make it easier and how we do things nowadays. Like, how amazing is personal 3D printing as a concept!? But before going down that path, show your kid how people have sculpted incredible works of art and even more mundane things with simple hand tools and a huge amount of training and practice.
The takeaways that resonated with me most for my son is #3 - he's only 3.5 years old, and learning that frustration tolerance and delayed gratification is a good thing for kids has taught me to wait and take a step back before jumping in to help him solve his problems. I also had a moment of "sick joy" the other day when we were trying to drive 2 hours out of town to visit someone for the weekend, but a serious accident shut down the highway for hours. After sitting in traffic for over an hour and realizing we weren't going to make it there until late, we decided to turn back. Our son was very upset as he was excited to see the person we were meant to visit. We told him that we were going home and would try again in the morning. I knew in that moment that the disappointment was good for him, even though he was really upset. But he soon got over it and accepted that we were going home.
The takeaway for me personally is #1. I didn't grow up with much resilience that I was taught or encouraged to learn, and only as an adult have learned that it's a skill I can work on for myself.
I’m of the belief every child is born resilient and technologically has destroyed the ability for humans to polish there inate resilience .
As a child growing up we had no blockbusters. We had to wait several weeks for planning a movie. The previous generation probably had to wait weeks for a book arrival in the mail!
You are spot on with your parenting interactions, however the elephant in the room is technology and if parents are constantly on the phone seeking instant gratification ,what’s a child to do?
Again great talk, good to see folks talking about this stuff
The Hidden Cost of Convenience for Our Kids
Good Inside
28,164 views
When you make things easier for your kid, you're trading off against something else — here's the hidden cost of convenience, and how to think about the balance.
Dr. Becky explains why resilience is built, not born, and why frustration is actually your child's friend, not their enemy. Through real parent Q&As on boredom, quitting hobbies, and meltdowns, she shows how a little discomfort today builds the coping skills kids need for tomorrow.
0:00 Intro: living in a world of one-tap convenience
1:33 The Blockbuster story: what waiting for a movie used to teach us
7:07 Idea 1: resilience is built, not born
16:16 Idea 2: frustration is our friend, not our enemy
17:12 Idea 3: it's not our job to bring big feelings to zero
19:28 Parent Q&A: the "I'm bored" complaint in the car
23:23 Parent Q&A: when your kid wants to quit piano (or any hobby)
26:11 Parent Q&A: the "I can't do it" bench — how to respond to meltdowns
Watch Next: Modeling Frustration Tolerance - Modeling Frustration Tolerance, One Mistak...
GET MORE FROM GOOD INSIDE / https://bit.ly/4vBKoV8
#resilience #raisingkids #raisingresilientkids #frustration
Get the Good Inside App by Dr. Becky: https://bit.ly/4fSxbzk
Your Good Inside membership might be eligible for HSA/FSA reimbursement! To learn more about how to get your membership reimbursed, check out the link here: https://www.goodinside.com/fsa-hsa-el...
Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: Instagram: drbeckyatgoodinside
Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newslette
For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast.
Thank you to our sponsor Hot Wheels. Check out our full series with Hot Wheels at hotwheels.com/challengeaccepted.
At Good Inside, we’re shifting the narrative - away from instinct and toward education - because parenting isn’t something that just comes naturally. And the first step to real, cycle-breaking change? Understanding yourself—and the patterns you fall into.
I’ve said it before: every parent has a pattern. But have you ever stopped to ask… what’s yours? Take the free quiz at goodinside.com/better to discover your parenting pattern.