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The Scary Truth About What Narcissistic Relationships Do to You

DoctorRamani

80,217 views

Narcissistic relationships can affect far more than the relationship itself. Over time, the impact can begin showing up in how you think, how you feel, how you relate to other people, and even in your physical well-being.

In this video, Dr. Ramani breaks down some of the lesser-discussed ways long-term narcissistic relationships can change you - and why some of those effects can linger even after the relationship ends.

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

20 Comments

@Tapa_tapa_123 3 weeks ago (edited)

I moved 3,000 miles away from my narcissist sibling, and somehow everything got harder. When I lived close to him, the toxicity felt normal — just “the way life is.” But once I had distance, and my nervous system finally had room to settle down, the truth became impossible to ignore. The abuse I minimized for years became painfully clear. And underneath all that denial was anger I hadn’t let myself feel because it was too risky. Now that anger is roaring back to life. Sending love to everyone dealing with this toxic nonsense. It’s brutal when your body finally feels safe enough to tell the truth.

@TheKak933 3 weeks ago

Take care of a narcissist and you’ll know what exhaustion is

@Digitalsleuth_PI 3 weeks ago

The scary part of a narcissistic relationship isn’t just what they do to you—it’s how you can start doubting your own memory, judgment, and instincts. Don’t rely on accusations or assumptions. Look for patterns, document what you can, and verify the facts. Clarity changes everything.

@carolynjaynes36 2 weeks ago (edited)

Thank you so much for making this video. I’ve had so many narcs in my life plus professional social worker, counselor then therapist. I felt completely crispy to the core. Utterly exhausted, I would cry and wonder why I couldn’t care for myself as well as I needed to. After leaving all narcs and retiring, my mental and physical health are better than they’ve been in years. As a compassionate Empath, I now only let people have access if empathy is mutual. I appreciate you so much!!! ❤

@MarleyLeMar 3 weeks ago

As of this month I'm entirely out of the narcissist's reach. I am left holding the knowledge that narcissism is pervasive in our culture. It is normalized. It is a constant stressor. So, I'm here to keep growing stronger, breathe, and thrive.

@joegradojr 3 weeks ago (edited)

She hit me with the first sentence. I’m a healthcare worker and a Respiratory Therapist. I’m also victim of narcissistic abuse. Compassion fatigue is REAL.

@rebeccanoegrosso 3 weeks ago

Thank you Dr. Ramani! In 2019 I went from being a fit athlete charging 10' waves to complete exhaustion in 3 months, barely being able to walk to the mailbox; gained 40#; saw every Dr. I could with none knowing what to do; lost 99% of my friends; was shamed; gossiped about and my emotional state was a mess. In 2024 my boyfriend of 13yrs told me over coffee in bed "you know I've been having relations with other women, right?" Anyway it unravelled from there as he told me in detail all of his affairs, blamed it all on me, said cruel things about my body. It was shocking. I left and I'm still exhausted but doing my best, working 2 jobs trying to survive. My mom is a grandiose narcissist and the last 2 years I've learned so much from you and I'm so very grateful!

@zmesopotamia6792 3 weeks ago

While in the relationship, they are so sick to the point that they make you feel that they are your entire world, so, after they leave, you need to question and redefine almost everything!

@palalechat 3 weeks ago (edited)

Self-abandonment in narcissistic relationships = "pulling out our feathers one at a time until we can no longer fly". 🤯

@sarah_d.o.z. 3 weeks ago (edited)

I took care of my Father for 10 years before he died. I am a registered nurse and was going thru a divorce from a narcissist and taking care of my 3 sons. Now im remarried and children are grown, and my now husband parents try calling me all the time to take them to appointments and running their errands. I had to tell them I'm busy each time. They are upset with me, but i had to tell my husband that i am only concerned with my health and mental stability i have no time for others. Also my husband said he didnt marry me to take care of his parents that they have 4 children and his parents are not my responsibility. My husband looks out for my needs and i look after his. He told me to stop feeling guilty for taking time and caring for myself. The last 3 years ive been very selfish. Because no one looked out for me all these years.

@Jwcounselor77 3 weeks ago (edited)

It is invisible damage because people struggling with narcissistic abuse continue to get up go to work pay bills do what they’re supposed to do, but on the inside, they are falling apart, struggling with depression anxiety, but still expected to function at a high level. Thank you so much for continuing to do this channel as a therapist I work with clients every day and they are starved for information because this is a topic that is just now being talked about and labeled.

@NarcSurvivor 3 weeks ago

The damage these people can do to a person’s life is devastating. It can affect your family, your community… everything. Because of course there are no isolated incidents. Everything is interconnected. But what goes around comes back around. It ends up affecting them more than anyone else in the end.

@christamarie4044 3 weeks ago (edited)

A living nightmare!! Soul exhaustion is so real

@Shecares3 3 weeks ago (edited)

I did not realize until just 6 months ago why I was going bald, was absolutely exhausted inside and out. It was not just the 24/7 care I gave to my MIL, but all the ways I was trying to love my covert , all while be gaslight, mistreated, and dismissed without explanation. I’ve been in healthcare for over 10 yrs and would work 50-60 hours a week and NEVER experienced what I’ve been through the last 6 years. The last 8 wks I’m trying to take care of me and my MIL only. I am gray rocking to survive, reading Gods word to change my thoughts and try to stay peaceful until I can get out.
Thank you again for this video it’s a huge light on my situation.

@HelenDower-s9m 3 weeks ago

The desire to be loved is so profound , we will often tolerate almost anything ,including prolonged cruelty and depravation of that very thing we seek ,called LOVE . If we could first learn to love our selves better than others , we might not accept this impossible cycle of unhappiness . ( which is considered selfish in our culture ) This must change, because self-esteem is essential for personal stability .

@cherrybacon3319 3 weeks ago

I would become so tired of being strong and keeping myself together that sometimes I felt like reacting to give me a break. 🍒

@MacMartyx 3 weeks ago

My mom was married to my narcissistic father, working a full time job as an overloaded Guardian Ad Litem in the courts, while also handling every parenting task for us 3 kids. They divorced after 23 years together, her health was going downhill due to the stress and as she put it - "I just had to leap off the sinking ship and pray". While I didn't have the language for it back then, I know now how much hell she went through. My dad didn't make it easy but she still showed up when it mattered.

@Narcissistexopser 3 weeks ago

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤

@starlingswallow 3 weeks ago

I was exhausted IN the marriage and when I left. My parents didn't seem to understand how tired I was when I left him, but how could they? They never asked what happened to me. Never once told me if I needed to talk, they'd be here for me. WTF.

8 years out and I'm still tired. 😢

@Yournamehere-t7w 2 weeks ago (edited)

I just learned last night that everything I’ve ever done in my 21 year marriage, the trying to balance a full time job and raise our child on my own because my husband “makes more money” so his job “is more important”, all my contributions never happened because evidently our child hadn’t existed until much more recently. Our 17 year old son has only existed for about 5-6 years. Everything I dealt with prior to that, it never happened. Thanks to Dr. Ramani I am not as susceptible to this gas lighting. This is an insane level of changing the narrative.