Most of these sound like trigger phrases for sleeper agents

Someone randomly asking "Have you ever been stabbed" is absolutely a prelude to finding out what it's like to be stabbed

an old man in a thrift store once shouted at me, completely unprompted "never join the army! once they say you're guilty, you're GUILTY!!"

Having every calves-related one line up just right so they all say "calves" at the same time was absolutely genius

A few years ago, I was at a festival and unexpectedly a 7-8-year-old child came up to me and said, “HOLY SHIT, you look just like Morro from Ninjago! You even got green marks around your eyes!”

the “green marks around my eyes” were my smudged mascara because I had been crying shortly before.
Thank you, random kid, that was one of the nicest compliments I've ever heard, you made my day.

I once had an older woman approach me and compliment my hair. She then proceeded to say "You redheaded people are going to take over the world someday. When you do, just remember I was nice to you, okay?"

My hair is brown.

I remember a student probably  a year or two younger than me, walk up to me while I was waiting for my bus and just said "Asking for 20 cents is like asking for money" and walked away

When I was 11 years old, a guy came up to me and asked “are you married?” I answered “No???” and he said “aww what a pity.” and walked away.

I'm convinced the "STILL BORING" woman did the first "you're BORING" at random, for no reason, then saw the guy again and thought "I'm gonna do the funniest thing"

I once asked a short white lady, "Has anyone ever told you you like JUST LIKE Shaq? Because you don't, so that would be really weird." and then scurried out of the Walmart like an imp

“God left you with the default settings”

I’ve literally never spoken to this man before :(

2:37 “LEARN TO FUCKING CAR” so polite, so majestic.

I’m sorry but “pop a wheelie” is quite possibly the funniest thing you could say to someone on a unicycle 😭 i wheezed

Arriving in a small town and havin a local ask you "Do you have the means to kill a seagull?" is like meeting a questgiver NPC.

I outside my local Tesco express with my dog, when an old Scottish man came up to me and just said “what the fuck is a churro” in the most casual voice imaginable before he just kept on walking

Was in a Nazi history class when the girl beside me asked me, "you're German, right?" I'm Asian.

"Powerful stream" sounds like a fucking intense urinating scene in a fighting anime

The "today or tomorrow?" person sounds like someone trying out their time machine.

I used to work overnight at a gas station. Next door was a diner.

One night, I was sweeping the parking lot. A group of drunk teenagers came out of the diner and got in a car. As they were driving away, one of them leaned out of the front passenger window and shouted, "Good night, Parking Lot Sweeper Guy! You're really attractive!"

I have never felt more seen.

8:16 the irrational fear of a tall person licking your head isn't so irrational!