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Top Matchmaker: Why Successful Women Are Choosing the Wrong Men

Awf The Record

19,113 views

What happens when you’ve built the career, earned the degree, bought the house, and still haven’t found the relationship you want?
Professional matchmaker Tennesha Wood joins Jeannette Reyes and Mona Kosar Abdi for a reality check on the modern dating market, especially for high-achieving Black women. Tennesha breaks down what men and women are actually asking for, why accomplishments don’t automatically translate to compatibility, and how rigid standards around income, height, looks, and “type” may be shrinking the dating pool.

They also get into the strategy behind Tennesha’s matchmaking process, why attraction can grow, the importance of self-awareness and accountability, how to communicate in high-achieving relationships, when dating should become intentional, and why finding love may require the same level of planning you’ve given every other major goal in your life.

KEY POINTS

00:00 – Introduction
02:03 – A reality check on what’s actually happening in today’s dating market
03:40 – Why dating can be harder for high-achieving Black women and where to meet compatible partners
04:37 – What successful men and women are actually looking for in relationships
08:39 – How unrealistic checklists and the search for perfection can keep people single
12:11 – Why focusing too heavily on looks can be a dating red flag
19:30 – Why your usual “type” may not actually be your best match
22:20 – The role of accountability and self-awareness in being ready for a relationship
23:38 – Why height, income, and other preferences may unnecessarily shrink your dating pool
31:19 – How career success can become your identity and affect the way you date
48:57 – Why finding love may require the same intentional strategy you use for your career and other life goals

QUOTES

“You're not going to get everything on your list.” – Tennesha Wood

“Who your type should be is who your values align with.” – Tennesha Wood

“If you're not at a place where you understand what you did wrong in your last relationship or how you could have changed or improved it within yourself, then that's not going to bode well for the next relationship either.” – Tennesha Wood

GUEST RESOURCES:
Tennesha Wood
Website | https://www.thebroomlist.com/
IG | Instagram: tenneshawood

RESOURCES:

Keep in touch with Awf The Record - http://www.AwfTheRecord.com

YouTube: @awftherecord
Instagram: Instagram: awftherecordpodcast
TikTok: TikTok: awftherecord

Mona Kosar Abdi
IG | Instagram: monakabdi

Jeannette Reyes
IG | Instagram: msnewslady

20 Comments

@Miawest01 9 hours ago (edited)

I would never pay 15-20k on match making and it’s not because I don’t have it. You can spend that on therapy, traveling, upscale artistic events, and social clubs to extend your network and meet a suitor.

@taewill11 9 hours ago

There was so much talk on younger single people, I would have loved to hear more content on singles who are 39 and older.

@pisceanbeauty2503 5 hours ago

I understand wanting someone taller than you, but I don’t understand the 5’2 woman having an issue dating a 5’8 man.

@CMarie_B 9 hours ago

I personally feel like Black women need to change our thought process and open up to all races of men. A lot more women would be married or in a relationship if this becomes our norm. I've opened myself up to this idea & I feel optimistic and at peace. When people think they are your only option, you can get taken advantage of.

@nysha.v 10 hours ago

I’ve always been practical and grounded my preferences (not needs) in reality. I’m 5'2", and I’ve never said my man has to be at least 6 feet tall. I believe a lot of women are out of touch with reality and could benefit from shifting their priorities toward the intangibles: character, consistency, and shared values.

@n.o.9506 11 hours ago (edited)

@6:12 This whole thing about men leading, honestly, is so incomplete. For me, if you have to "let" a man or give him the opportunity to lead, he's not naturally inclined to lead. Men also like to say they want to lead but don't take the INITIATIVE to lead. If he asks for your input for most things, or he has to be pushed or reminded to do something, it's not leading. Opening the door or paying for dinner (although much appreciated, does not translate to leader character, sorry). If you're dating to get married, the realities between dating and married are very different. There's a reason why a lot of wives complain about the husbands who can't seem to do anything especially after the kids arrive.

Sidenote: somebody needs to create a dating app or service where matchmakers work with divorce lawyers and/or couple therapists. Coz finding the man is not even the beginning of anything.

@amber7129 11 hours ago

14:16 This convo is out of my tax bracket 😩 My brand new Toyota was $24k

@11kabula 10 hours ago

I 💯 disagree on the attraction grows! Yes it can; but one must date someone who you find attractive. Most women gaslight ourselves into a relationship to someone who we are not attracted from the get go because you’re giving someone and yourself a chance; but if it doesn’t workout it’s the worst waste of time because ONE already knew that they weren’t attracted to them. Been there, don’t do it!

@RealBlessed7 9 hours ago

Hey this is Tanisha from that reality show Black Love! It’s great to know she is married now with a child. I loved that show! She was one of my favorites. ❤

@Avh552 9 hours ago

This whole 6 figure requirement is just not my cup of tea. God-Good Character-Leadership- Sense of Humor- Affectionate- Emotional Mental Financial stable-Active.

@janaynmelis5250 10 hours ago

I tried to listen, but when the guest started talking about letting the men lead I had to respectively leave. Men being born a man doesn't automatically make him the leader. Marriage and relationships are about partnership, not leadership. If he wants to lead someone, be a manager at work or join the military. I'm a grown woman and I also lead and follow but will not automatically bow down to a man just because he has a sexual organ that I don't have.

@De_Tejas 8 hours ago (edited)

@13:00 I literally just tried to allow attraction to grow as they had all the qualities I liked however, it doesn’t grow for everyone if you’re just not attracted. I wish it did but for me, it never grows into attraction just because the qualities are there.

@Mims876 10 hours ago

“I don’t discriminate. Everybody can catch the smoke.” 😂😂😂😂 including myself

@iamradiance 7 hours ago

This is my second time today hearing people say something on this same topic. I need to listen to

@queenofthesouth757 9 hours ago

I love short Kings👑

@De_Tejas 8 hours ago

@21:06 flag on the play. Our type is our trauma. I hate that when “type” is discussed we never consider those of us who have great types w/values included. It’s always assumed to be/tethered to negativity.

@LadyK007 8 hours ago

Overall, great advice from the matchmaker! I think more of us who desire marriage could stand to have some flexibility on some of our requirements. Attraction matters, but character matters more. Good men still exist!

@Kake7799 6 hours ago

I’m wondering how many of her female clients are being matched. The demand for a top earning black men is high while the supply is low. Meaning some of her paying customers won’t be matched making her $20k fee feel like a gamble.

@GWDLegacyOfWidosm 7 hours ago

No I married a short king and he was extremely insecure. Nooooo do not give short king a chance if you don’t want to

@lastnamefirst9423 6 hours ago (edited)

I hate when people downplay womens preferences as being insignificat, small and silly.What purpose does being beautiful serve? Edit: None, yet everyone acknowledges it as a non negotiable for a man. But a woman's preferences are negotiable and unimportant. I dont think we realize how this plays into women settling for bad deals. End edit** Height is not just about asthetics, no one ever talks about how mean and insecure some shorter men are that will try to humble you for being taller than them.