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Top Etiquette Expert: What the Rich Do Differently & The Habits Sabotaging You

Awf The Record

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“Etiquette, and the concept behind it, is accessible, and it's for everyone.” – Elaine Swann

Elaine Swann’s Book of Modern Etiquette is available now: https://www.elaineswann.com/modern-et...

In this episode of Awf The Record, Elaine joins Jeannette Reyes and Mona Kosar Abdi for a crash course in modern etiquette, from fine dining, networking, Zoom meetings, and corporate happy hours to dating, ghosting, apologies, compliments, and navigating luxury spaces without feeling like you do not belong. She breaks down what the rich actually do differently, why confidence is often quieter than we think, and how the habits we overlook, like oversharing, arguing to prove a point, or making people wait, may be quietly sabotaging us.

KEY POINTS

00:00 - Cold open: Elaine Swann previews the etiquette mistakes quietly sabotaging you
01:38 - Introduction to Elaine Swann and the crash course in modern etiquette
02:38 - Etiquette is about how you show up and how you make people feel
09:22 - The handshake mistake people still make in professional settings
11:37 - Why we need to bring back greeting people and being neighborly
14:14 - How eye contact, posture, body language, and voice signal confidence
18:00 - Why hosts should start on time and honor the people who are present
22:03 - What the rich and famous actually do differently with luxury etiquette
27:55 - Fine dining rules that help you feel more confident at the table
32:58 - Relationship etiquette and the “shower rule”
38:23 - The proper way to accept an apology and receive a compliment
40:54 - Is etiquette rooted in white supremacy or used to police people of color?
44:42 - How to navigate alcohol and relationship-building in corporate spaces
47:28 - Go Off or Log Off: Elaine rules on modern etiquette dilemmas

QUOTES

“Etiquette is being aware of how you present yourself to other people, and it is also, it also has to do with how you make others feel.” – Elaine Swann

“Every single thing that comes out of your mouth, and every single thing you do becomes some part of somebody's history.” – Elaine Swann

“Honor the people who are present.” – Elaine Swann

“In relationships, you cannot change people. What you have to do is sometimes shift and turn that nozzle the other way.” – Elaine Swann

GUEST RESOURCES

Elaine Swann

Website | https://www.elaineswann.com/
IG | Instagram: elaineswann

RESOURCES:
Keep in touch with Awf The Record - http://www.AwfTheRecord.com

Youtube: @awftherecord
Instagram: Instagram: awftherecordpodcast
TikTok: TikTok: awftherecord

Mona Kosar Abdi
IG | Instagram: monakabdi

Jeannette Reyes
IG | Instagram: msnewslady

20 Comments

@a_real_buggslife 3 months ago

I remember starting a new job and shortly after the team was relocated. I was the last person hired. I happen to say Good morning to this guy every morning. Unknowingly he was the VP and he offered me a role to stay on board. I asked him why he offered me the role and he stated you said good morning every day.

@HBudianu 2 months ago

Not interrupting someone when they speak is another sign of etiquette.

@heatherunderwood3503 3 months ago (edited)

My aunt and I were in a social situation with a name dropper recently. When we walked away, my aunt said, “Your grandmother always said, if they have to tell you what they have, they don't really have it.” So just remember not to boast about who you know and what you have. It bores others and doesn't increase their esteem for you. ❤

@belindalindsey7056 3 months ago

She needs a podcast of her own.

@juliebon1989 3 months ago

Finally, we are having the conversation. We forgot to use it, to teach to our kids and demand it of others. Etiquette is about self-respect.

@bjteacher3721 3 months ago

I've known Elaine Swann for over 30 years, and she has always been a lady--a beautiful, refined lady. She's such a sweet soul. I'm so glad she's out here sharing expert etiquette advice.

@taylor915-i5w 3 months ago

I define etiquette is an extension of respect.

@SignofMoney 3 months ago

I taught my children table manners and I reinforced them by catching them doing it right. Years later, my kids would comment on how their friends didn’t have table manners. It made me feel good that my kids then realized I wasn’t just being fussy, but was teaching them a life skill.

@Aliboo79 1 month ago

I think etiquette school should make a come back. Our generations have been washed down and lost a lot of basic etiquette.

@apriljoy425 3 months ago

Some etiquette is to avoid chaos.Letting the ppl on the elevator get off first before you attempt to get on.This helps so much!

@marilyn9138 3 months ago

Etiquette is social grease. It's a way of sharing space with ease. When we are polite and respectful, everything is smoother.
Bad manners will slam certain doors, good manners will open certain doors. If you're rude, there are room you'll never see the inside of.

@abrockman102 3 months ago

Yyyyeresss!!! Start the meeting on time! Don’t wait!!! Honor those who are on time

@CrisTina-tp2jg 3 months ago

My pet peeve is when people discuss inappropriate things at meal times.

@alllldas 3 months ago (edited)

That zoom one is so real because I understand giving people Grace but when you wait 15 minutes you're just acknowledging the people who show up after instead of the ones who respected your time.

@SignofMoney 3 months ago

I used to work in the public school system. I also taught children how to apologize. They had to say what they were sorry for and then the receiver could accept the apology ( Thank you for apologizing, [“and don’t do that again” for pushing or saying something mean]) or say “I’m not ready to accept your apology.” If they didn’t accept the apology right away, they needed to remember to go back to that child later to accept the apology. It really bothered me if one child just said “I’m sorry” for bad behavior and the other child said “That’s ok”. It never ok to have bad behavior towards others just because you feel like it.

@cherylhill9283 3 months ago

I grew up in a small town in Georgia, but I spent many summers in Cleveland with my Aunt. She sent me to charm school one summer. Watching this 40 yrs later made me realize how many of those things I remember and still use in everyday life and new situations.

@NeicyNicole 3 months ago

Love this episode! How you show up in the world is so important.

Years ago, I worked in client relations at a law firm. I got on the elevator one morning and greeted an older gentleman. Nothing. I tried again thinking maybe he didn’t hear me. Still nothing.

I got off at the gym floor, worked out, showered, and headed up to the office. Imagine my surprise when I walked in and saw the same man sitting there waiting for his intake appointment… with me. 💀

Well, good morning again, sir. 😂

THIS time he responded. Third time’s the charm, I guess. 💅🏽

I’ve always believed in being neighborly. You never know when that “stranger” is about to become part of your day. Besides it's the human thing to do. Great show ladies! I will be purchasing this book! ❤

@sharraht1292 3 months ago

Don't make people lie by asking why they can't come on the day of the event. Just graciously accept our (I mean, their) response..

@Joan-rw2ql 3 months ago

Honoring the people who are present has always been my rule.

@buds8423 3 months ago

I don’t care what culture, race or state you are from: being loud in a nature environment that people go to for peace, or if y’all are the loudest
In the room- not ok!