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Heidi, how do you do this?!

You cut straight to the core of things. In a noisy content space, you teach things NO ONE else talks about. Not therapists, not coaches, no other creators in the personal growth space. I’ve tried it all!

It is so transformative to get at the root of things like this. So grateful for you!

You know what I love about this channel? The videos aren’t histrionic and they don’t only list problems. So many self-help channels, even the good ones, tend to focus exclusively on deficits or problems—so that their videos can conclude with a plug for their book/workshop/membership. But on this channel, equal time is given to the problem, the possible source of the problem, and the possible solution. It’s very soothing and refreshing.

Children who experience emotional neglect often learn to distrust themselves before they learn to trust themselves. As adults, decision-making becomes exhausting because every choice feels like it carries the risk of getting it wrong. Healing begins by understanding where that fear in your childhood came from.

this has plagued me my entire adult life- thank you - i consider you a genius when it comes to identifying and communicating these issues

14:48 You're so on point here. I went my entire life 'solving' my problems inside my head, because if I already have the perfect solution in my mind, I don't have to deal with the uncomfortable effort of acting on it in the real world.

Thanks, Heidi. You make this kind of content so easy to understand. Now I'm just trying not to intellectualize my own intellectualization. 😂

I came to the comments to see if anyone else was in awe as much as me, and I'm happy to see a lot of people are. I don't know how you do put together your content, but it is by far, the best resource I have ever found. There is no podcast, or book, or therapist that comes close to the way you explain things in such an actionable way.

😭😭😭 This woman is single handedly helping me navigate my attachment and emotions 😭😭

I love you so much 😭

The points you make feel so obvious after you explain them so well! It makes so much sense that being in a relationship with yourself and everything that means is a constantly evolving experience, and to do it properly requires constant reevaluation. As Heraclitus said: "No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man." And extrapolating that perspective across an entire lifetime provides a lot to reflect on and reevaluate.

This is a video that could have been very helpful to me earlier in my life, but I am in a better place to hear it now after having experienced a lot of grief that I could not just grit my teeth and bear like I am used to doing.  

Thank you as always for your videos. This might be one of my favorites that you have made!

My god, it's like you made this series on emotion neglect exactly for me. Please keep it up! I'm learning so much.

The fact that a changing desire can be indicative of a right decision blew my mind 🤯 upon reflecting on my own life, I see how true that is!

I think somewhere along the line I internalized that a stable, competent adult has fixed desires and goals, and that if mine changed then I was doing something wrong.

What you said here totally contradicts that belief. Thank you❤

It’s so hard to advocate for ourselves when our earliest caregivers had zero tolerance for influence and could not be persuaded.

I have never heard of or thought of these ideas before! I spend so much energy trying to do the "right" thing

Oh Heidi...I try almost every video you post to use my words to reflect back to you how I experience your content.  This time the word that comes to mind is PRECISION. You take topics, such as decision-making for those. of us who were emotionally neglected, and you hone in, like a surgeon, on the razor-edge of truth. Your explanatory precision is that of a surgeon for the soul. Thank you.

Every emotional neglect video makes me nauseous and my head starts spinning. So much to the point where the tears start to peacefully fall from my face.

I’d like to think of you as a nerdy healer. Sometimes the verbiage confuses me, and I forget the quotes or authors you cite. But, all of those words are felt so sharply. Im pretty forgetful but you’ve left a unforgettable impact on me which I’m very grateful for.

You being an ENFP virtually makes it impossible for me to hide because you have the gift of verbalizing all of the things I tend to internalize as an INFJ. It feels weird to be on the other end of being a mirror lol

Thanks for all the work you do Heidi. I have to end my comment here because I tend to keep talking when my internal world is masterfully understood 😅.

Heidi's work in one word: discernment 🌀💚

"Let's say, for example, you go away to university. And for the first time you feel really, genuinely happy..." OMG, your example is about to be the story of my PhD depression isn't it... 🎯🎯🎯

This is exactly what I needed in my life right now.  I needed it 20 years ago, too, but right this moment is just as good.  The fact that helpful videos like this are being made accessible during what seems like the darkest of times... it's very contrasting.  

Thanks for giving me hope, for myself and the rest of the world.  Maybe if I keep taking care of myself, the rest of the world won't look so insurmountable.

Frozen decider:
Every wrong choice could easily result in verbal or physical abuse, punishment or penalties! The abuser was also likely to be arbitrary and inconsistent with what they wanted. No decision was ever safe!

you came out with this video at literally the perfect time in my life. The first thought.. that we dont think about our inner lives and what we liked about that situation on an inner world level is literally happening to me right now. When I watch your videos sometimes its like you pick up things that I dont even know about myself... haha  

avoiding regret also used to be my number one priority in life I feel called out. I also love the sentence: "when we do this our decisions become more and more right for us over time, because they have taken on more of our shape".... I'll be rewatching this for sure