Lock yourself into the lord of frenzied flame ending ---> save Melina's life by burning the Erdtree yourself ---> use Miquella's needle ---> become the ultimate simp.

You also kill Torrent with the Frenzy Flame Ending.. your only friend in the land between..

Im trying to listen intently, but everytine I hear Ma-ree-ka I get taken out of it

so...
in regular ending you got : Chair
in Golden ending you got : shining chair
in death ending you got : foggy chair
in cursed ending you got : putrid chair
in Ranni's ending you got : Waifu (?)
in Frenzied Flame Ending you got : Cool scar, glowing yellow eyes, and hot haircut + additional Destined death delivery

How to Mispronounce Every Name in the Game for 26 minutes

Age of Stars: Fuck off to the moon with the moon princess. Basically marry Sailor Moon

So you either become the elden lord, marry a doll waifu and go for a lonely 1000 years honeymoon together, or burn the entire universe to save a ghost waifu and have her chase you to the end of the world to kill you.
What?

To be fair, The reason 25% of all players chose Ranni's ending was because of the Dark moon Greatsword.

"My dear consort eternal" ❤

4:00 You don't have to respec if you don't have 37 int. You can achieve it by item stacking.
Marika's scarseal: +3 int
Intellgience-knot crystal tear: + 10 int
Grafted blade greatsword's ash-of-war Oath of Vengence: +5 int
Twinsage glintstone crown: +6 int
Stargazer heirloom: +5 int
Godrick's great rune: +5 int
This adds up to 34 intelligence. Even if you picked hero or prophet, the classes that only have 7 int by default, you can get up to 37 without spending a single level by stacking these effects.

Quick tip. You don't need to kill twin gargoyles to reach deeproot depths as many people think, they are defending only one way to that place. Go into the layndell capital canals, reach site of grace in front of frenzied flame (good luck with the parkour btw.) Then attack walls in that big room with grace you fell into. One of them is an illusory wall with a chest and another one behind. Congratulations, just jump down and you are in deeproot depths. Unlike four belfries teleport to farum azula this way really let you explore all that area

Bro never even played the game

Well at least I get married in one of them

Btw a fun fact is during age of stars YOU become the nightlord the nox have been waiting for, imagine it like nightreign but not a menace to order

Just make your own.

Inherit the frenzied flame, burn the erdtree and save Melina. Then remove the frenzied flame and get Ranni's ending.

Melina will hate you, but she's essentially suicidal, so it's morally righteous to step in to stop her.

You can take the frenzied flame and burn the erdtree to prevent killing Melina and then use the needle to seal the flame. Unfortunately it doesn't actually grant any special or additional dialogue or tidbits of story, but I like to think that this was the better option to avoid becoming a second Vyke (died for Frenzy Flame use to save his maiden) and it's a great 1-last-middle-finger to the golden order from the merchants

Always saw Ranni's ending as the main one, it's a long sidequest but so easy and natural to follow, you don't actually need a guide for it

With Shadow of the Erdtree context, Age of Despair is where Dung Eater succeeded where the Hornsent failed: everyone gets the blessing of the Crucible horns.

1:00 when rannis quest fails due to a bug, u get the normal ending too. So maybe the percentage for the normal ending is even lower

age of fracture is the ending where marika loses her shit and breaks the tv because after ALL THAT WORK, you just restore her.