When someone wants you they will make it easy for you to be with them and when they don't want you it will always feel like an up hill battle.

This is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my life: never beg someone to stay or to love you. It’s one of the most painful things you can put yourself through. I made a promise to myself that I’ll never do that again.

You are worthy of being loved without having to chase it or convince anyone. When someone is meant for you, it won’t require begging — it will feel natural, mutual, and secure.

To anyone going through this, I’m holding your hand and reminding you: choose yourself, and love yourself enough not to accept less than you deserve.

Banned situationship. They are killing the human soul

It's worse when they say they love you but actually dont.

"Relationships won't heal you, they will reflect back to you what needs to be healed".

I needed to hear this. I spent months believing that if I changed enough, worked hard enough, and proved how much our marriage meant to me, I could convince my separated wife to choose us again. The mixed messages kept me holding on, but the truth is that a relationship cannot be saved by one person. I can still believe our marriage was worth fighting for while accepting that I cannot fight for it alone. Choosing myself now does not mean I never loved her—it means I am finally protecting my dignity, rebuilding my life, and becoming the father and man I need to be. I am learning that acceptance is not agreement, and letting go is not failure.

The problem is when you doubt the relationship because of the way they're showing up, but you also know that not everybody has the same skill set so you think if you can explain enough or build enough understanding between the two of you that maybe you could learn to work together... But one person is too defensive to make that effort so you're doubting the relationship because you see they're not committed to working together.

😢I have just did this a day ago. You are right Jillian. It is incredibly hard and brave as hell to walk away from a person you love, but I chose myself. I am grieving but I know I will be okay. Thank you for your videos. They have been so helpful both before this fresh breakup and before it. I have listened to you for a time now.

Thank you for this video. Its a shame how many tarot reading channels there are preying on people's vulnerability and heartbreak to keep their views up. This video is definitely needed!

That line about how you can't make someone love you just hit different, like I'm too tired to even argue against it anymore because I've been arguing against it for two years in my own head and I still lost. there's something genuinely exhausting about realizing that all the effort, all the showing up, all the "being better" was never actually about love, it was about me trying to outrun the feeling that I wasn't enough to begin with. and that's the part nobody talks about, the convincing isn't even for them, it's for you, it's so you don't have to sit with the fact that someone looked at everything you are and still chose to leave or stay halfway or whatever the situationship version of that is.

a friend sent me something a while back that sent me down this whole rabbit hole and I ended up reading this book, attached I think it's called, and there's this thing in it about how anxious attachment basically turns love into a problem you're supposed to solve, idk it sounds obvious when I say it like that but I remember reading it and feeling this weird mix of relief and embarrassment because I'd been solving a problem that was never mine to solve in the first place.

I don't know if that's healing or just a fancier way of understanding the same wound, but at least now I have vocabulary for my dysfunction, or maybe that's just what we tell ourselves when the actual sitting with it still feels like too much.

Love this video. So timely. Don't let them say they are leaving, YOU leave when you see that you are getting crumbs

This is so good and to the point.
Thank you, Jillian.
The more time spent on someone who isn't choosing you, the less time and energy to meet someone who will choose you.

I learned over time I don’t have to chase.


Sooner or later I do something to make them upset or jealous and they come around themselves😂😂

I can’t get over not feeling good enough. Not being chosen by someone who had my heart in her hands. I’ve tried to heal, but it feels insurmountable. Someone who once told me one of the luckiest breaks of her life was me loving her. Someone who has said many times that she really wanted it to work, but she can’t make me happy (I was the happiest man in the world when we were together so that makes no sense). Now thinks she too good and wants to go find better, while I stand by as an option. It’s heartbreaking.

With no mutual love the marriage is simply a temporary merger.

Oh. I’ve been going through this for a year. I don’t know how to choose myself but I want to. The pain you’re describing and the tolll it takes is so real.

I’m just really trying to watch this to see if I will feel better but my heart is aching, and every moment feels empty without him. I'm holding on to the hope that we'll be together again, and my happiness will be restored.

Found your channel..Love it..57 yrs old. Thanks..

You’re getting choked up like you’re speaking mostly about your own personal situation and pain.

I soooo needed to hear this today! Thank you!