Going to IIT was a dream come true, but even after getting there, something didn't feel right.

Maybe it was the high expectations set by people around me, or it was that nothing really changed inside of me.

After getting to IIT, something just didn't feel right, but I had no words to explain that at the time.

I gradually lost interest in my studies, and started getting backlogs from the first semester. I had always been a good student throughout my school life — this was the first time I experienced this feeling of getting F grades.

I also started experiencing back pain. It started in the first year, and gradually kept on increasing. Later, when I got to the doctors, I was diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disorder called ankylosing spondylitis. It took me a while to even remember how it's pronounced and spelled.

My life went from bad to worse. The pain was so intense it felt like a disability. I spent a lot of time lying on the bed — I wasn't able to sit even for a minute without support. But thankfully, I came to a point when I decided to take the matter into my own hands, and skipped the advice of doctors.

I started researching everything I could about the condition on my own.

What foods triggered inflammation, what movements helped, what made things worse.

It was slow, and there were days I second-guessed the whole decision, lying there wondering if I was making a huge mistake by not just taking the pills like I was told to. But something in me kept pushing forward anyway.

Looking back now, that decision is probably the most defining moment of my life. It was the first time I took full responsibility for my own body, instead of handing that responsibility to someone else.

College got over around this time, and I had no idea what I wanted to do next. But for the first time, I knew exactly what I didn't want to do. So I moved out on my own, started living alone, and focused on one thing I could actually control — discipline. I figured if I had that, everything else would eventually fall into place around it.

I applied to Indiahikes, hoping to work with them. I got rejected. Public speaking has always terrified me, and I've never been the extroverted, outgoing type.
I thought I would get better at public speaking and apply at IndiaHikes again, meanwhile I got back to my disciplined life.

During this time, I started helping friends work through their own struggles, informally, no title, nothing official.

Then lockdown happened, and something within me told me that I can help a lot more people, this is something which can become official.
So I decided to become a Life Coach at the age of 25.

Then I moved to Noida, to focus on my coaching career.

Then after staying there for 3.5 years, I finally let myself go after what I'd wanted for a long time — the mountains, the quiet, the slowness. The farm was only supposed to be a short detour on the way there.

Timestamps
0:00 – Intro
0:23 – IIT: losing interest, falling behind
0:54 – The diagnosis: Ankylosing Spondylitis
1:56 – Choosing to heal myself over medication
3:55 – College ends, no plan, just clarity
4:38 – Living alone, building discipline
5:32 – Applied at Indiahikes
7:03 – Got rejected, and got back to disciplined life
8:49 – Decided to become a Life Coach at 25
9:48 – Three and half years in Noida
11:57 - Came back to my hometown as a Detour


#IIT #ankylosingspondylitis #backpain #psychosomatic #suppressed #emotions #healing #incurable #autoimmunedisease #farmlife #farmlifeindia #mudhouse  #lifecoaching #discipline #meditation #journaling #darknightofthesoul #iitropar #indiahikes #trekleader