OpenTube

The 11 Types of Abusive Men | One Is the Most Dangerous

Lisa Sonni

51,599 views

Abuse doesn't have one face. Sometimes it's the guy crying about how hurt he is. Sometimes it's the one quoting therapy language while making you doubt yourself. Sometimes it's the perfect gentleman to the world but rules your private life like a dictator.

In this video, you'll discover the 11 archetypes of abusive men:
The Drill Sergeant (total control - you need permission for everything)
Mr. Right (always correct, you're always wrong - dismisses your reality)
The Victim (poor him, everyone's out to get him, you need to rescue him)
The Player (cheats and lies but convinces you he still loves you)
The Rambo (glorifies aggression, you think "if I say wrong thing, he'll lose it")
The Water Torturer (subtle, drives you insane, nobody else sees it)
The Terrorist (threats, stalking, "if I leave, he'll unalive me")
The Excuse Maker (mental illness/addiction as get-out-of-jail-free card)
The Bully (humiliates you for sport, training you through mockery)
The Demand Man (everything revolves around him, you're more employee than partner)
??? (and this one is THE MOST DANGEROUS)

🔗 Ready to break trauma bonds and rebuild? Work with me: https://strongerthanbefore.ca/

Lisa Sonni
Stronger Than Before Coaching | Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Bond Recovery Expert
Certified Trauma Recovery Coach specializing in evidence-based healing methods

Helping survivors break free from narcissistic abuse and trauma bonds through evidence-based recovery coaching and healing resources. Transform from surviving to thriving with proven trauma recovery methods.

About Lisa Sonni:
Trusted by over 1 million survivors worldwide. Providing expert narcissistic abuse recovery coaching, trauma healing resources, and transformational programs. Author of 4 bestselling recovery books and creator of the Break & Rebuild Method™ featured inside the Trauma Bond Recovery Course. Host of Real Talk with Lisa Sonni: Relationships Uncensored Podcast.

✨ FREE RECOVERY RESOURCES:
→ FREE 'Are You Trauma Bonded?' 2 minute quiz with instant results
https://kcdplmm983r.typeform.com/trau...
→ FREE Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Guide: 12-Step Healing Blueprint
https://www.subscribepage.com/trauma-...
→ FREE 'What's Your Biggest Roadblock To Healing?' 2 min quiz with instant results
https://kcdplmm983r.typeform.com/Rebu...
→ FREE 'Are You Done Yet?' 2 min quiz with instant results to find out if you're even ready to let go: https://kcdplmm983r.typeform.com/to/o...

🌟 TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE:
→ 1:1 Recovery Coaching: Talk to Lisa
https://strongerthanbefore.ca/book-a-...
→ Trauma Bond Recovery Course: Break Free Forever
https://strongerthanbefore.ca/trauma-...
→ Toxic Free Relationship Club: Join Our Healing Community
https://strongerthanbefore.ca/membership

📚 HEALING RESOURCES BY LISA SONNI:
The Trauma Bond Recovery Journal
https://a.co/d/h7pdo14
Rebuilding After A Trauma Bond: A Self-Love Journal
https://a.co/d/5aefClg
Narcissism Unmasked: A Survivors Handbook
https://a.co/d/dM16LbZ
Surviving To Thriving: Six Step Blueprint to Recovery
https://a.co/d/0Jtxpym

🔒 CERTIFIED TRAUMA SPECIALIST:
Certified Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach
Trauma-Informed Relationship Expert
Danger Assessment Professional
Certified Trauma Bond Recovery Specialist
Specialized in Complex PTSD Recovery

💕 JOIN OUR HEALING COMMUNITY:
Instagram: @stronger_than_before_coach_
TikTok: @stronger_than_before
Website: https://strongerthanbefore.ca

#NarcissisticAbuse #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery
#TraumaBonding #EmotionalAbuse #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #HealingFromTrauma #ToxicRelationships

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: This content is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not therapy or medical advice. Always seek professional help for your specific situation.

00:00 - Abuse Doesn't Have One Face
01:28 - The 11 Archetypes of Abusive Men (Bancroft's Framework)
02:30 - The Drill Sergeant: Runs Your Life Like Boot Camp
03:09 - Mr. Right: Always Correct, You're Always Wrong
03:57 - The Victim: Poor Him, Everyone's Out to Get Him
04:45 - The Player: Cheats and Lies But "Still Loves You"
05:32 - The Rambo: Glorifies Aggression and Violence
06:33 - The Water Torturer: Subtle, Drives You Insane
07:20 - The Terrorist: Threats, Stalking, Fear of Leaving
08:05 - The Excuse Maker: Mental Illness as Get-Out-of-Jail Card
08:53 - The Bully: Humiliates You for Sport
09:36 - The Demand Man: Everything Revolves Around Him
10:23 - The Last Type: The Most Dangerous
11:38 - Why There's No Equivalent List for Women
12:46 - Which Archetypes Have You Dealt With?

20 Comments

@annstar2793 1 year ago

It’s a good time to be single !

@biljam972 1 year ago

I had a Sergeant husband who run our home like it's his job and made all the rules. And I had a partner after marriage who played perpetual victim and made me look like a witch, all while HE was the one making all the rules. I had no say in that. I am single now, and I am fine with it.

@mmommo10 1 year ago

just so much abuse out there its scary.

@micirenea 1 year ago

The worst part is how a bad childhood can teach us that we were created to suffer, to be abused. I don't think that's talked about enough how we are trained as women to accept our place in the world as objects to be used and abused by others.

@fluffyclouds4303 1 year ago

Yes years of abuse trains you to repress any "negative emotions". Put on what ever face helps you survive that day.

@anniewho4655 1 year ago

Demand… I often felt like my husband treated me like an inadequate employee.

@NoahAndTate 10 months ago

Therapy taught me that a good man supports you in your darkest moments and embraces your weaknesses while an abusive man uses your weaknesses against you and gaslights his inability to emotionally support you when you need it.

@Amazinglilflowers 1 year ago

Every girl should be taught this in school. And we should raise better sons

@mmommo10 1 year ago

Read the book "But He Never Hit Me."

@jl2937 5 months ago (edited)

22 years I lost to an abuser. Also lost friends, homes, communities, money. He wore so many masks, he was several of these types. I just could not escape the manipulation.

@ingacrosby1554 11 months ago

Abusive parents equal abusive spouses.

@juliacoburn7455 11 months ago

Live longer and sane , stay single

@carolb3869 1 year ago

I’ve dealt with the sensitive blaming projecting assaulting victim.
Very thankfully I fled 10 yrs ago🙏 I had a team of support after he assaulted me. I called police - he hung up the phone, but I knew they had to respond.
They did.
Everything flowed from there, namely my healing & awareness.
Love watching your videos b/c they’re so accurate 👍

@mmommo10 1 year ago

loved the part about "systemic" at the end, MOST have no idea how bad it truly is.

@LisaLisa-fg1wh 6 months ago

The one whos perfect in company but a abusive bully in private.

@Julia_is_Tired 1 year ago

Mine is an alcoholic sensitive guy. He likes to blame everything on drinking, but he was stone cold sober when he took my car key out of my purse, and hid it the other day. He said I needed to see what it would be like without him around. But he gave it back before I noticed so what was the problem? That’s his logic.
It really scared me. I can’t understand that kind of thing. I would never do that to someone I love. So I brought home a car he has no access to. My parents gave it to me (my mom is dying of cancer [get your colonoscopy] and can’t drive anymore, and they wanted to help me). He can’t trap me in the house now.

@sunny2026-u4l 3 weeks ago

These abusive men are unacceptable

@ketscher2381 1 year ago

If you want to argue go argue with your mom 😂

@mrichards7849 1 year ago

Thanks so much Lisa for all your work. I have a new counselor who I know is not going to work out as she is very defensive of men. After years and years of abuse I guess I’m not supposed to be wary of men? Um, no. I get way more validation from you. What you’re doing is so important, to me and others. Love to you ❤.

@donnamartin9198 1 year ago

I have dealt with 11 of these during a 37 year marriage. I finally left and he says I'm cruel and I don't care about his feelings!!! There is one more covert christian abuser. They abuse spiritually, emotionally, mentally, financially and it affects our health. We are told by the church to SUBMIT! Told by them to submit and OBEY. They was grace and mercy you but extend zero to you. They club you with the word of God. Grace to them LAW to you!!! It is evil and far from Godly. When you are forced to leave They tell everyone it's because you are bitter and unforgiving. They are the victim. Mine lest me with household credit card debt that was in my name. He filed for a non contested divorce and will not pay me a cent even though he works and lives for free with his brother. I am 67 and have been on disability in the past so I can not work. What these abusers do is PURE EVIL!!!