The Childhood Wound Narcissists Can Exploit with Jessica Anne Pressler
Chelsey Brooke Cole
1,319 views
Why do you keep abandoning your own needs, even when you know something isn't right? Jessica Anne Pressler, a therapist, calls this part of you "the traitor within."
In this episode of Restoring Resilience, Jessica explains how the ways we coped as children stay with us into adulthood. That might mean keeping the peace, being the "good" kid, staying invisible, or trying to earn love by being perfect. She also explains why narcissists study those wounds and use them to keep you stuck.
Jessica shares her own story, too. For nearly four decades she helped others while repeating the same patterns in her own relationships. Then she finally named the part of her that kept choosing to stay over being abandoned.
In this episode:
• What the traitor within is and where it comes from
• How roles you took on as a child to survive show up in adult relationships, at work, and in friendships
• How narcissists spot and exploit your core wounds ("It's not intimacy, it's intel.")
• Why this part of you deserves compassion, not shame
• Small steps to rewire old patterns: little boundaries, saying no, building a life outside the relationship
• Why leaving and going back isn't weakness. It's practice.
• One thing you can do today to start restoring your resilience
ABOUT JESSICA
Jessica Anne Pressler, LCSW, is a Columbia University-trained psychotherapist and author with four decades of experience helping people heal from narcissistic abuse, trauma, and grief. She is the creator of the Traitor Within framework and author of two books: Traitor Within, a debut novel that weaves healing tools into one woman's journey of overcoming trauma, and Your Traitor Within Journal, a year-long guide of journaling prompts designed to help readers unpack their own inner critic and patterns of self-sabotage, day by day. She is also the host of the Your Traitor Within podcast, featuring weekly candid conversations with guests who share their own stories of the inner voice that holds them back.
CONNECT WITH JESSICA
👉 https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/trai...
👉 https://www.amazon.com/Traitor-Within...
👉 Instagram: jessicaannepressler
👉 Facebook: jessica.anne.pressler.2025
👉 TikTok: jessicaannepressler0
👉 @yourtraitorwithin
ABOUT CHELSEY
Chelsey Brooke Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and Certified Partner Trauma Therapist helping you learn to trust yourself again after narcissistic abuse. She is the bestselling author of If Only I'd Known! How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth and host of the Restoring Resilience podcast. Her work has been featured in USA Today, HuffPost, Psychology Today, and other media outlets.
For those looking for deeper support, Chelsey works with survivors through 1:1 therapy and Rewired for Resilience: Reclaiming Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse. The program offers a structured healing process with direct access to Chelsey, weekly support groups, and ongoing community support. Visit www.chelseybrookecole.com to learn more about working with Chelsey, Rewired for Resilience, and her other resources.
Resources & Next Steps
If this episode resonated with you, here are a few ways to go deeper:
Free Masterclass: The Narcissist’s Playbook
Understand the exact patterns narcissists use—and why it’s so hard to see clearly when you’re in it
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/the...
Free Quizzes: Is It Narcissistic Abuse? Not sure what you're dealing with? Take a free 2-minute quiz to get clarity now
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/qui...
Rewired for Resilience (Healing Program)
Go beyond awareness and start rebuilding self-trust, emotional safety, and clarity from the inside out
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/rew...
Read the First Chapter of My Book (Free)
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/fir...
Website
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/
Follow me on Instagram Instagram: chelseybrookecole
Follow me on Facebook Facebook: chelseybrookecole
Follow me on TikTok TikTok: chelseybrookecole
Follow me on LinkedIn LinkedIn: chelseybrookecole
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
2 Comments
The Childhood Wound Narcissists Can Exploit with Jessica Anne Pressler
Chelsey Brooke Cole
1,319 views
Why do you keep abandoning your own needs, even when you know something isn't right? Jessica Anne Pressler, a therapist, calls this part of you "the traitor within."
In this episode of Restoring Resilience, Jessica explains how the ways we coped as children stay with us into adulthood. That might mean keeping the peace, being the "good" kid, staying invisible, or trying to earn love by being perfect. She also explains why narcissists study those wounds and use them to keep you stuck.
Jessica shares her own story, too. For nearly four decades she helped others while repeating the same patterns in her own relationships. Then she finally named the part of her that kept choosing to stay over being abandoned.
In this episode:
• What the traitor within is and where it comes from
• How roles you took on as a child to survive show up in adult relationships, at work, and in friendships
• How narcissists spot and exploit your core wounds ("It's not intimacy, it's intel.")
• Why this part of you deserves compassion, not shame
• Small steps to rewire old patterns: little boundaries, saying no, building a life outside the relationship
• Why leaving and going back isn't weakness. It's practice.
• One thing you can do today to start restoring your resilience
ABOUT JESSICA
Jessica Anne Pressler, LCSW, is a Columbia University-trained psychotherapist and author with four decades of experience helping people heal from narcissistic abuse, trauma, and grief. She is the creator of the Traitor Within framework and author of two books: Traitor Within, a debut novel that weaves healing tools into one woman's journey of overcoming trauma, and Your Traitor Within Journal, a year-long guide of journaling prompts designed to help readers unpack their own inner critic and patterns of self-sabotage, day by day. She is also the host of the Your Traitor Within podcast, featuring weekly candid conversations with guests who share their own stories of the inner voice that holds them back.
CONNECT WITH JESSICA
👉 https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/trai...
👉 https://www.amazon.com/Traitor-Within...
👉 Instagram: jessicaannepressler
👉 Facebook: jessica.anne.pressler.2025
👉 TikTok: jessicaannepressler0
👉 @yourtraitorwithin
ABOUT CHELSEY
Chelsey Brooke Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and Certified Partner Trauma Therapist helping you learn to trust yourself again after narcissistic abuse. She is the bestselling author of If Only I'd Known! How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth and host of the Restoring Resilience podcast. Her work has been featured in USA Today, HuffPost, Psychology Today, and other media outlets.
For those looking for deeper support, Chelsey works with survivors through 1:1 therapy and Rewired for Resilience: Reclaiming Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse. The program offers a structured healing process with direct access to Chelsey, weekly support groups, and ongoing community support. Visit www.chelseybrookecole.com to learn more about working with Chelsey, Rewired for Resilience, and her other resources.
Resources & Next Steps
If this episode resonated with you, here are a few ways to go deeper:
Free Masterclass: The Narcissist’s Playbook
Understand the exact patterns narcissists use—and why it’s so hard to see clearly when you’re in it
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/the...
Free Quizzes: Is It Narcissistic Abuse? Not sure what you're dealing with? Take a free 2-minute quiz to get clarity now
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/qui...
Rewired for Resilience (Healing Program)
Go beyond awareness and start rebuilding self-trust, emotional safety, and clarity from the inside out
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/rew...
Read the First Chapter of My Book (Free)
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/fir...
Website
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/
Follow me on Instagram Instagram: chelseybrookecole
Follow me on Facebook Facebook: chelseybrookecole
Follow me on TikTok TikTok: chelseybrookecole
Follow me on LinkedIn LinkedIn: chelseybrookecole
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
If this conversation with Jessica Anne Pressler resonated with you, these resources can support your healing:
✨ Free Masterclass: The Narcissist’s Playbook
https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/the-narcissists-playbook
✨ Healing Program: Rewired for Resilience
https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/rewired-for-resilience
Your wounds may explain what made you vulnerable, but they don’t have to determine what comes next. 💙