Overthinking, People-Pleasing, and Spiraling? An ADHD Doctor Explains Why
Tamsen Fadal
52,773 views
Why do some of us experience rejection, criticism, and disappointment so intensely—and what we can we actually do about it?
Dr. Sasha Hamdani is a board-certified psychiatrist, ADHD specialist, and author of Too Sensitive: Rejection, Resilience, and the Science of Feeling Deeply. In this episode, she explains rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD)—the intense emotional pain triggered by perceived rejection or criticism that affects the majority of people with ADHD, especially women.
Dr. Hamdani breaks down why dropping estrogen during perimenopause makes emotional sensitivity worse, what's actually happening in your brain when one comment sends you into a spiral, and the three tools she uses herself to stop it. She also explains why women who've been on antidepressants for years with no relief may have been misdiagnosed—and what high-achieving women look like from the outside vs. what's really going on inside.
In this episode, you'll learn:
-What rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) is and why it's so common in ADHD
-How RSD shows up in friendships, relationships, and the workplace
-Why perimenopause can make emotions and ADHD symptoms feel harder to manage
-Why high-achieving women may hide rejection sensitivity behind perfectionism, overpreparing, and people-pleasing
-How to tell the difference between what actually happened and the story your brain created about it
-Tools for helping your brain catch up before you react or start spiraling
-Why some women treated for anxiety and depression for years may actually need to be evaluated for ADHD
-How to start tracking your own patterns before you talk to a professional
If you've ever lost an entire night replaying one conversation, convinced yourself someone is upset with you, or felt a wave of shame hit your body before you could even think it through, this episode will help you understand what’s happening between the feeling and the reaction, so your first emotional response doesn’t get to make the decision for you.
MORE FROM THE TAMSEN SHOW:
If you liked this conversation, check this out: The ADHD Psychiatrist: How to Get Your Focus Back After 40 (https://bit.ly/tts-yt-tracey-sasha)
_
STAY CONNECTED WITH TAMSEN:
Get Tamsen's newsletter filled with free tools to living better, feeling stronger, and knowing you’re never alone: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-newsletter
Get Tamsen’s NYT instant bestselling book, How To Menopause: https://bit.ly/tts-yt-htm
Free Resources from Tamsen: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-hub
Watch all the episodes on YouTube: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-playlist
Follow Tamsen on Instagram: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-ig2
The Tamsen Show on Instagram: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-ig1
Follow Tamsen on TikTok: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-tt
Follow Dr. Hamdani on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepsychdoc...
Get Dr. Hamdani's book, Too Sensitive: Rejection, Resilience, and the Science of Feeling Deeply: https://amzn.to/3USeOFW
🧡 LEAVE A REVIEW
If you enjoyed listening to the podcast, we'd love for you to leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts to help others discover the show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
SPONSORS:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Head over to https://bombas.com/TAMSEN and use code TAMSEN for 20% off your first purchase!
What We Talk About:
0:00 Intro
3:17 Why More Women Are Realizing They May Have ADHD
8:36 Why You Feel Emotions So Deeply and for So Long
9:53 What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
13:59 3 Tools to Stop an ADHD Rejection Spiral
21:55 Why High-Achieving Women Struggle With Rejection Sensitivity
24:50 How Perimenopause and Menopause Can Make Emotional Sensitivity Worse
29:57 ADHD Symptoms in Women That Often Go Undiagnosed
34:03 How to Know if You Should Get Evaluated for ADHD
36:15 When Anxiety or Depression Could Actually Be Undiagnosed ADHD
__
Medical Disclaimer:
The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns or treatment options. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Tamsen Show.
_
ABOUT TAMSEN:
Tamsen is a Emmy-winning journalist, NYT bestselling author, podcast host, filmmaker and leading menopause advocate. As host of The Tamsen Show Podcast, she’s become a powerful voice in the conversation about midlife. She is the creator and producer of The (M) Factor and The (M) Factor 2.
Tamsen is the author of the New York Times Bestseller How To Menopause. From SXSW to Capitol Hill, Tamsen champions policies that break the stigma around menopause and empower women at work and beyond. After 30 years as a TV anchor, she helps leads the charge in midlife health advocacy. https://www.tamsenfadal.com/
#adhd
#tamsenfadal #thetamsenshow
14 Comments
totally struggle with hypersensitivity, imposter syndrome. been in therapy as needed for 40 yrs so i engage in a high level of self reflection and awareness. AND am very analytical...
the sensitivity I experience is incredibly robust in my mind & body. im also really intuitive except when the RSD takes the reigns. been at my job 4 yrs and even with positive feedback I get the imposter syndrome.
I know what at work and why it happens but man, when you're on the inside of it, it's not easy to put on the brakes. I am definitely getting that book.
I had to reinvent myself and how I was handling everything. what had been working the bottom fell out of. HRT CBT
💭💭 start questioning MYSELF
💭💭 I put tooooo much energy into it if I don’t 👎🏻 hear 👂🏻 💬 back
💭💭 some OF it is just BEYOND rude when someone doesn’t 👎🏻 respond back
💭💭 I cut a lot OF people OUT OF MY life SO I wouldn’t 👎🏻 get aggravated
💭💭 YESTERDAY FOR example MYSELF including MY son text 💬 HIS half sister happy BIRTHDAY wish
💭💭 WE never 👎🏻 heard 💬 back
💭💭 it’s BEYOND rude
💭💭 ok 👍🏻 don’t 👎🏻 respond back to MY text 💬
b u t
💭💭 don’t 👎🏻 do this to your BROTHER
💭💭 I feel sad about it FOR HIM💧
Overthinking, People-Pleasing, and Spiraling? An ADHD Doctor Explains Why
Tamsen Fadal
52,773 views
Why do some of us experience rejection, criticism, and disappointment so intensely—and what we can we actually do about it?
Dr. Sasha Hamdani is a board-certified psychiatrist, ADHD specialist, and author of Too Sensitive: Rejection, Resilience, and the Science of Feeling Deeply. In this episode, she explains rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD)—the intense emotional pain triggered by perceived rejection or criticism that affects the majority of people with ADHD, especially women.
Dr. Hamdani breaks down why dropping estrogen during perimenopause makes emotional sensitivity worse, what's actually happening in your brain when one comment sends you into a spiral, and the three tools she uses herself to stop it. She also explains why women who've been on antidepressants for years with no relief may have been misdiagnosed—and what high-achieving women look like from the outside vs. what's really going on inside.
In this episode, you'll learn:
-What rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) is and why it's so common in ADHD
-How RSD shows up in friendships, relationships, and the workplace
-Why perimenopause can make emotions and ADHD symptoms feel harder to manage
-Why high-achieving women may hide rejection sensitivity behind perfectionism, overpreparing, and people-pleasing
-How to tell the difference between what actually happened and the story your brain created about it
-Tools for helping your brain catch up before you react or start spiraling
-Why some women treated for anxiety and depression for years may actually need to be evaluated for ADHD
-How to start tracking your own patterns before you talk to a professional
If you've ever lost an entire night replaying one conversation, convinced yourself someone is upset with you, or felt a wave of shame hit your body before you could even think it through, this episode will help you understand what’s happening between the feeling and the reaction, so your first emotional response doesn’t get to make the decision for you.
MORE FROM THE TAMSEN SHOW:
If you liked this conversation, check this out: The ADHD Psychiatrist: How to Get Your Focus Back After 40 (https://bit.ly/tts-yt-tracey-sasha)
_
STAY CONNECTED WITH TAMSEN:
Get Tamsen's newsletter filled with free tools to living better, feeling stronger, and knowing you’re never alone: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-newsletter
Get Tamsen’s NYT instant bestselling book, How To Menopause: https://bit.ly/tts-yt-htm
Free Resources from Tamsen: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-hub
Watch all the episodes on YouTube: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-playlist
Follow Tamsen on Instagram: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-ig2
The Tamsen Show on Instagram: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-ig1
Follow Tamsen on TikTok: https://bit.ly/tts-youtube-tt
Follow Dr. Hamdani on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepsychdoc...
Get Dr. Hamdani's book, Too Sensitive: Rejection, Resilience, and the Science of Feeling Deeply: https://amzn.to/3USeOFW
🧡 LEAVE A REVIEW
If you enjoyed listening to the podcast, we'd love for you to leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts to help others discover the show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
SPONSORS:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Head over to https://bombas.com/TAMSEN and use code TAMSEN for 20% off your first purchase!
What We Talk About:
0:00 Intro
3:17 Why More Women Are Realizing They May Have ADHD
8:36 Why You Feel Emotions So Deeply and for So Long
9:53 What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
13:59 3 Tools to Stop an ADHD Rejection Spiral
21:55 Why High-Achieving Women Struggle With Rejection Sensitivity
24:50 How Perimenopause and Menopause Can Make Emotional Sensitivity Worse
29:57 ADHD Symptoms in Women That Often Go Undiagnosed
34:03 How to Know if You Should Get Evaluated for ADHD
36:15 When Anxiety or Depression Could Actually Be Undiagnosed ADHD
__
Medical Disclaimer:
The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns or treatment options. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of The Tamsen Show.
_
ABOUT TAMSEN:
Tamsen is a Emmy-winning journalist, NYT bestselling author, podcast host, filmmaker and leading menopause advocate. As host of The Tamsen Show Podcast, she’s become a powerful voice in the conversation about midlife. She is the creator and producer of The (M) Factor and The (M) Factor 2.
Tamsen is the author of the New York Times Bestseller How To Menopause. From SXSW to Capitol Hill, Tamsen champions policies that break the stigma around menopause and empower women at work and beyond. After 30 years as a TV anchor, she helps leads the charge in midlife health advocacy. https://www.tamsenfadal.com/
#adhd
#tamsenfadal #thetamsenshow