just wanna mention, u can never be 100% sure a child isn’t being abused. never.

Personal opinion you can never 100% out child abuse. My mom was abusive while living with my father and he never knew/listened to me. No one believed it until I was old enough to fight back.

My dad used to always say “a diabetic isn’t weak because they have to take insulin. They do it to fix the problem. Mental health is the same way.”

He also refers to seeing a therapist as “getting a mental oil change.”

Why is he 23 hanging out with an 18 year old??

Story 2: I work with children. Counselling is definitely needed. It could be dad is doing something that is making your son upset. Or it could be the stepmom. It could be the whole situation where he is now second because a new vaby is coming. Or it could be that dad and stepmom are great, but it could be a family member or friend from their side. The only way you'll know for sure is through a child psychology/therapist/counsellor that specialises in young children. They will be able to interact with your child and hopefully figure out what is wrong. You may need to do family therapy with all four of you. Good luck.

Story 2: I’m an Early Childhood Educator and there is some sort of abuse going on. These are red flags that would have myself making a CPS report as a mandated reporter. I would be contacting social services and be brining my child to a doctor and psychologist.
That is actually very scary and a serious matter I’d be hesitant to send him back to dads. I don’t think it’s abuse from someone else but dad because it’s dad he’s afraid of. Bottom line LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN! He is telling her something is wrong.

This isn’t the child going through a mommy/daddy phase and at 4yo it’s typically a daddy phase anyways.

15:53 story 2 is SO SCARY!!!!! That poor kid, that level of response sounds very much like a response to trauma, I am so concerned for that child’s safety any time the child is with their father alone 🥺😭❤️

Edit: abuse and trauma doesn’t have to be physical, but keep in mind the most experienced abusers know how to not leave marks.

Story #2 hits home a little bit- my mom and bio dad got divorced as soon as I was born. He used to come pick me up once a month and have an outting but it always felt forced in a way. By the time I was 4-5 I was dreading going with him and would hide under beds or make him take my cousin with us. He was never mean but it just always felt like he didn’t want to spend time with me and the last time I saw him he introduced me to his new wife and she was pregnant with his first son. After that I never saw him again (and he didn’t pay child support) BUT I found him on Facebook recently and he never stopped spending time with his son even when he wasn’t with his mom anymore. ALL THIS TO SAY: a kid can feel when they’re not wanted and maybe the dad is trying but them seeing the dad with a whole new family just make them feel replaced so what’s the point of spending time with him.

Story # 2 was hard to hear because I used to hide from my abuser. When he would come to my house I would hide under my bed. No one realized what was going on even though I felt like it was obvious.

Story 6: at that point id simply say "one strike and you're out. She's already developing issues and insecurities from the way you treat her. If you fail to show up one more time for any reason other than you being at the hospital, you'll never see her again."

I found it I had depression at 13, but they didn’t want to precessional diagnose me because I was only 13 and they told me it was hormones. I was completely numb or crying nonstop and my mom didn’t want to deal with it. She always got so upset because I couldn’t just “be happy”. I’ve been with my therapist for about 3-4 years I think and she’s amazing. Therapy helps and u wish more people could see that. I’m in meds too, but talking to someone who understands helps tremendously.

0:23 we all need a Jerry in our lives 🎉❤ how sweet to not only offer to get the pillow but re offer just in case

In reference to the question Morgan posed in Story 4 regarding people who refuse to go to therapy: I have learned that some people simply do not want to heal. They can have amazing friends, success, access to resources, EVERYTHING. They cannot feel better until they are ready to do it themselves, and some people are content in the familiarity of their misery. In that case, all you can do is be there, show them the beauty of life and that they do not need to be so miserable (without risking your own mental health). The hardest part of caring for someone is that sometimes only they can help themselves when they are ready. People I am very close with, I tell them straight to their face that they need to acknowledge why they want to live like this. I encourage as much difficult self reflection as I can.

Story 2: As a person who was abused by an immediate family member for years and was mentally groomed into not telling another trusted adult, PLEASE do not let your child be alone with their Dad until you have a professional like Social Services investigate his home and a counselor meet with your child. This absolutely terrified me because this extreme of a reaction is not just because be prefers you. This child is 100% being abused by him whether it is emotional or physical. Please try and update us all on if you have taken your child away from him and sought help. Be safe

Last story : I first saw my bio dad when I was 6, and I remember that I HATED him. We wouldn’t even speak the same language (I didn’t know English at the time) and I wouldn’t let him come anywhere near me. He had always been very absent, and living abroad, so it was even more difficult to arrange visits… I would say that you definitely need to hear out what the kid has to say, you’re aware of a lot of things already at the age of 6, especially when it’s the lack of love (or at least presence) of a parent. Give her options : have lunch with him alone or with him and grandma (I know I was and still am more comfortable when there is another family member around), see him in a place she knows and enjoys (maybe she can show him around her neighbourhood park or something, somewhere where she feels confident and not in a total unknown place), or not see him at all. Give her the power to decide and not him the power to play around with her mental stability. I’m 24 yo now and my bio dad still has the same behavior, being very flaky, and it still gives the same anxiety even though I’m a grown-up now, because you always end up re-enacting the feelings you had as a child…

Story 2 and their discussion about Morgan hating a school when she was little reminds me of when I was about 3-4 years old. I had a babysitter who was very mean to me and she had two of her own kids who would bully me. They were a few years older than me and once locked me in a dog kennel with their large dog. The sitter would let her kids bully me and didn’t care. And she was kind in front of my parents but then would scream at me after they left. She would lie and say I misbehaved when I didn’t. I didn’t know how to communicate what was happening but eventually my
parents stopped taking me there because I would cry every day before they dropped me off at the sitter’s house. 😅

Trying to coparent affectively when the other person is fairly absentee is super hard. I made the decision 20 years ago to let my 7-8 yo decide when she wanted to visit. She’d be involved in scheduling as far as making sure she wasn’t missing out on parties, school events or extracurricular activities. I got her a cell phone that had our numbers logged in, (grandparents, aunts/uncles etc) & her dad could call her directly.
The biggest thing was HE had to call her to cancel. HE had to make up an excuse (and she was extremely clever so he didn’t have many lol). HE had to hear the disappointment in her voice.
It helped her draw her own conclusions about the dynamic & killing the assumption that I was crazy or keeping her from him.
At the same time, it was heartbreaking. I still don’t know if I made the right decision. I ask her now & she shrugs. She said the only thing I could’ve done before she got here was choose better 😭. I concur.

“I’ll go get you a pillow” 😢
I just got called out for OT and I am beyond exhausted and have a huge headache with these fires . This is an awesome treat for my drive

Story 4: It’s one of the most helpless feelings in the world watching someone you love hurting and refusing any help. My ex was in that constant state of horrible depression. The kind I’m heavily medicated for. I know how bad it can get and it pained me to see her accepting it and wishing for an end. She doesn’t believe that we should need anything like meds to heal ourselves as she’s very holistic and believes nature heals all. I believe that sometimes, our bodies just lack the required Serotonin and just like someone with a missing limb needs assistance, our brains need assistance with functioning normally as well. There really is a point where all you can do is support them the best you can, but at the end of the day, they are their own person and you cannot force them to help themselves. It’s heartbreaking, I know. But you are doing all you can. Do not allow your mental health to decline at the expense of another’s.

Story #6: Hi, I'm a Colombian lawyer. Although I am not a family attorney, my mom has been one for almost 30 years. I get the parents wish to protect their child from anyone and any trauma. I would want the same for mine. However, you cannot limit another parents visits just because you want to. Obviously, the mom has her very valid reasons but, in order to limit the bio dad visits and rights, I would take him to Family Court... It sounds extreme, I know, but it is not. Parents in every country forget their RIGHTS regarding their children, are highly bonded to the fulfillment of their DUTIES. If bio dad is NOT fulfilling his duties, a Family Judge WILL take back his rights over the child, to protect her (i.e. reducing his visit ours, demanding him to spend xxx amount of hours with his child, etc.). Mom, dad: go to Family Court. Your child needs stability, a reliable bond and relationship with her dad, especially at her young age. For sure you will have issues with bio dad, but your child will thank you in the future.