Most honest doordasher be like "why do you order doordash?" "Lazy" "if money was no object what would you do" "money is no object and I'm ordering doordash"

These door dash people are giving the “ good times create weak men” crowd A LOT of fodder.

Friendship ended with r/teachers, now r/meth is my best friend

"As long as you go "aw I can't believe I'm fuckin doing this again" then the light in your soul is still on"
As someone who used to be a lazy Doordasher this genuinely uplifted me

"Adults do not engage in imaginary play"... "And then i will read a book." She really doesn't see the contradiction here does she

"WE LIVE IN THAT SYSTEM, RIGHT NOW! THAT'S WHAT THE SYSTEM IS!" Fucking tears running down my face, it's way to early in the day to be seeing bangers this potent

The F350 is the bigger problem. He has a massive truck but the only thing he hauls is himself. Could at least throw some groceries in it.

Anecdote from a former Dasher: this one time I was sent to deliver someone's order from a burger place.  The order?  One ramekin of ranch dressing.  I roll up to the house to find another driver delivering for the same person from the same location, just an actual delivery order.

So what happened, as far as I can tell, is they have dash pass to avoid the regular delivery fee, they ordered and paid the 2 dollar bribe to doordash (1.99 for priority delivery, it just means this delivery isn't bundled with anyone else's and the driver doesn't see a cent of it in my experience).  Then they realized immediately that they missed their side of ranch, so they make another delivery order for that side, assuming like a reasonable person that it's going to be sent with their other order.  But they paid the bribe on the first one so that's going on its own.  And I get beaned with the singular side of ranch delivery.

The banter is S tier, but the gameplay is just straight blueballing. Librarian knows what's good.

"The secret is to have a neighbor group chat for DoorDash and split the fees," in chat, I'm dying.  It's getting to the point one day they will literally go pick up the food themselves and pay DoorDash a little less.  "The secret is to go pick up the food yourself so you do not pay triple the cost and then tip nicely to not have your food have a pube added."

the real problem the "sandwich ingredients come in too big of a package" guy is actually having is that he lives too far from the nearest grocery store. i moved to a house w 3 tiny mom n pop groceries within a 30 second walk of me & i eat more sandwiches than ever bc the ingredient quantities not lining up just doesn't matter. i run out of cheese? i grab a 20 off the counter & 40 seconds later ive got cheese again. and it turns out, being friendly with a shopkeeper you can see without removing more than a minute off your day is like, super good for your mental health. turns out people arent supposed to exist within a society designed like a solitary confinement torture chamber, who knew!

I genuinely agree with everything NL is saying but preceding "I hate the puritan Andys" with "You can do it if you want you just have to feel bad about it" is hilarious.

No bros you don’t get it, you don’t understand. It costs me 50 bucks to buy food that feeds me for 3 days, why would I do that when I can get food that feeds me for part of one day off of DD for 38 bucks?????

I couldn’t handle the I want to buy 2 pieces of bread at a time guy. Just put it in the freezer like old people if you really don’t want to waste any bread

"When my kids would ask me to play with them I'd just say no and eventually they stopped asking."
...that breaks my fuckin' heart, dude. Your kids want you to be a part of their world and you've said you want no part in that. Thats just cruel.

Doordash discourse be like "I'd rather ruin myself financially than overcome the slightest inconvenience when preventing my own starvation"

Watching a 2 year old northernlion video about random twitter discourse is like my personal version of "the world you grew up in no longer exists"

The young Prince William thing was true, but think about it. It was teenage girls, seeing a kinda hot literal prince. Its like a book. Now they all hate his bald asa head. Rip

"Living alone and buying groceries sucks ass" no it doesnt just freeze your leftovers!! Reading twitch chat makes me feel so damn good about myself

my ex was severely depressed bc of addiction & it caused her to get addicted to doordash and genuinely kept her poor for several years, she'd doordash like $100 of food cuz shed get an order from the same place she always ordered & itd be inedibly gross, like it is every time bc some food doesnt work for delivery, & shed have to just throw it away and order from mcdonalds, several days a week.
and people who are like "doordash is neccesary for disabled people you dont understand!!" drive me fucking crazy cuz the thing is -- do you know what she did before doordash existed? when she got hungry she'd whine about how she didn't feel like getting up, and then at some point she'd just get up anyway despite not feeling like it cuz at some point the biological need for self-preservation beats out non-hospitalization-worthy depression, and she'd go out to get like a like $3 hotsnack from the gas station, and more than half the time the simple act of being forced to leave the house actually made her depressive episode abate
doordash is BAD for depressed people!! its straight up predatory. but people be out here like "you don't GET IT bro, heroine is GOOD for addicts bc it makes me feel good, its problematic to want people to get clean"