If that therapist is subject to licensing from a governing body with ethics standards, they should absolutely be reported.  Even if not for OP, then to protect the next person she'll do this to, whose information will be leaked to a more overtly abusive parent/partner/whatever.

The mother telling her "I don't think I did anything wrong" while literally being manipulative abuser made my fucking blood boil...... please leave her amd the therapist behind

That therapist should never have taken her.   It's people like that that destroy the trust in the therapeutic relationship and as a therapist, it is incredibly frustrating to hear a story like this.

She should absolutely sur her for breach of confidentiality, not out of revenge but out of this is genuinely something fucked up to do out of a licensed therapist, if and if she's unlicensed even more of a reason to sue.

Definitely should report the therapist.  

If you REALLY want to catch her breaking confidentiality, tell her a lie. A lie that can be tracked ONLY to her. If legal, record your session. If/when mommy asks you about it, try to record her as well.

That will be proof you can take to the state licensing board.

Then promptly get a new therapist. Put her name on blast if you wish.

She should lose her licence.

Live in NYC, and every single therapist's office on the East Side is set up like this. The white noise is to prevent you from hearing the conversations in the rooms.

The therapist could lose her license for doing this. NYS takes these kids of violations extremely seriously. I'm shocked that Dr. K did it. I suspect that they were much closer than the Dr. let on. Bet money they've been in the same social circles for years, not months.

Also, I live in Astoria and would not choose Montclair over it. It's great.

Run away from both of them. Imagine the poor grandkids being manipulated.

She needs to find a new therapist, report the old one, and move to Montclair!
Which I know is easier said than done.

When I was a kid (10-12) I told my mom about something that happened to me and she told her therapist. The therapist told my aunt and it blew up my family for a while. We actually moved to get away from the drama.
We should have reported her and sued but didn't and it's been over 20 years now. Her telling my aunt (and my aunt telling everyone) was more traumatizing than the actual event and impacted more people.

That is absolutely unethical for a therapist to do and she needs to be reported.

Same thing happened to me. My parents were getting a divorce, and there were some mandatory therapy sessions for all the kids under eighteen. I was a bit over eighteen but went to one session anyways.

General therapy session - asked us how we were handling things (I went with two of my siblings as a group thing). At some point she asked if there was anything we wanted our parents to do more of. I said something about how it might be nice if my mom cooked for us more (I know, I know, ungrateful, but she was around less often and dinner was something that was nice to do together).

A couple days later, mom asks what I'd like her to make, and brings up what I said to the therapist. I kinda shrugged it off for a bit - I'd never had therapy before and wasn't sure if this was normal - but later it clicked and I got upset. Refused to go back for any more sessions and warned my siblings that our mom was talking with the therapist about whatever they were saying in the sessions. Wanted them to have a heads up that the sessions weren't totally confidential.

Genuinely still upsets me to think about. 😕

WHAT DO YOU MEAN she just switched the payments to her own insurance instead of immediately finding a new therapist???

Report the therapist and file a police report for the borderline stalking.

People like this don't 'stop' without cobsequences.  The Mom will just find new spies.

She needs a new therapist that her mother doesn't know.  She needs to set boundaries.

That's not a therapist, that's a double agent. Mom recruited her to make you a patient with an agreement to SPY ON YOU AND BREAK CONFIDENTIALITY.

I find it sad how OP seems like she's trying to convince herself her mother loves her and that it means something, but she said it herself at the end — she loves her like a "thing", not like a person. That's not the kind of love a respectful relationship can be built on. If a person has no regard for your boundaries, it doesn't matter how much they love you — you need to keep them at a distance in you want to feel any sense of freedom and independence in your life.

Someone holding a loved one so tight, that they squise out of their life. No good.

That therapist broke confidentiality. They should be reported.

She should find a new therapist. She's giving everyone surface things and scared to actually face things with support because she's used to being taken over and things controlled by her mother. That's not healthy. She needs a therapist who can help her process that out so she can feel more confident and actually accept help from others, while having healthy boundries with her mother.

If she wants a relationship with her mother, she'll need some family therapy probably that would, in the best case, leads to her mom getting her own therapy to help her stop trying to control everything.

OP should also bring their partner into therapy a few times to help with the communication issues. If you're don't want to talk with your partner about something because you need to vent and they're trying to fix, that's a communication problem that is easily remedied.

Of OP is going to have kids, it's best these things are addressed before kids because kids demand lots of healthy communication. If your foundation sucks, it's just going to be harder.

It does sound like the wrong person was seeking therapy.

mother may genuinely care without malice, but this is exactly the kind of behavior that is toxic even without intent.
at it's extreme it's known as the "devouring mother" where she simply can't let the children be independent, they can't see their children as anything other then the baby/toddler stage where the children actually need constant over watch to be safe.

therapist giving any information to the mother is a problem and when the mother asked it should have always been "I can't talk about her" and when the mother insisted therapist should have put distance there.

funny enough, mother needs therapy and that therapist may be a good choice as they already have a rapport with eachother.