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My Complicated Relationship with Shadow of the Colossus

i am a dot.

40,657 views

This is a video about growing as a person.

Shadow of the Colossus is a classic game that I adore, though I have to admit that adoration is relatively new. It was a bumpy ride, but I think I experienced this game in the best way possible... though it wasn't the way the developers intended.

This video will contain spoilers.

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Games Discusssed:

Shadow of the Colossus (2005) / Platform: Playstation 2 / Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment / Developer: JAPAN Studio, Team ICO / Director: Fumito Ueda / Genre: Puzzle, Adventure, Platformer, Minimalist, Fantasy

ICO (2001) / Platform: Playstation 2 / Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment / Developer: JAPAN Studio, Team ICO / Director: Fumito Ueda / Genre: Puzzle, Adventure, Platformer, Minimalist, Fantasy

Shadow of the Colossus (2018) / Platform: Playstation 4 / Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment / Developer: BluePoint Games / Genre: Puzzle, Adventure, Platformer, Minimalist, Fantasy, Remake

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Games Referenced:

Metal Gear Solid (1998) / Platform: Playstation / Publisher & Developer: Konami / Genre: Adventure, Stealth

Silent Hill (1999) / Platform: Playstation / Publisher & Developer: Konami / Genre: Horror

Silent Hill 2 (2001) / Platform: Playstation 2 / Publisher & Developer: Konami / Genre: Horror

Silent Hill 3 (2003) / Platform: Playstation 2 / Publisher & Developer: Konami / Genre: Horror

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (1997) / Platform: Playstation / Publisher & Developer: Konami / Genre: Action, Adventure, Action RPG

God of War (2005) / Platform: Playstation 2 / Publisher: Sony / Developer: Santa Monica Studio / Genre: Action, Hack & Slash

Final Fantasy IX (2000) / Platform: Playstation / Publisher & Developer: SquareSoft / Genre: RPG

Parasite Eve (1998) / Platform: Playstation / Publisher & Developer: SquareSoft / Genre: Horror, RPG

NieR: Replicant (2009) / Platform: Playstation 3 / Publisher: Square Enix / Developer: Cavia / Genre: Action, Adventure, RPG

Hollow Knight (2017) / Platforms: PC, Nintendo Switch, Playstation 4, Xbox One / Publisher & Developer: Team Cherry / Genre: Action, Adventure, Action RPG

Demon's Souls Remake (2020) / Platform: Playstation 5 / Publisher: Sony / Developer: FromSoftware, BluePoint Games / Genre: Action RPG, Soulslike

Secret of Mana (1993) / Platform: Super Nintendo Entertainment System / Publisher & Developer: SquareSoft / Genre: RPG

ABZÛ (2016) / Platforms: PC, Nintendo Switch, Playstation 4, Xbox One / Publisher: 505 Games / Developer: Giant Squid / Genre: Adventure

TUNIC (2022) / Platforms: PC, Nintendo Switch, Playstation 4, Xbox One / Publisher: Finji / Developer: Isometricorp Games / Genre: Adventure

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Topics Discussed: Shadow of the Colossus, Classics, Classic video games, opinions, bad game review, being wrong, video games, retro games, retro video games, old games, PS2, Playstation 2, SotC, Team ICO, ICO, game controls, bad controls, opinions change, personal growth, therapy, rage quit, rage quitting, immaturity, self-improvement, giants, Wander, Mono, Dormin, Ico, Yorda, Funito Ueda, Team ICO, JAPAN Studio, Gaming in the 2000s, 20th Anniversary, Shadow of the Colossus at 20, game music, video game music, video essay, essay, i am a dot, dot

20 Comments

@SBExhibition 1 year ago

I’ll never forget my 45-minute-long first time fighting the 12th colossus.

@NomadColossus 10 months ago

In the grand scheme of things, we are all dots!

@RuralNanoChao 1 year ago

This is one of my favorite two theme in gaming. You are the final boss (like Carrion, not Evil Genius), and "You are not supposed to be here." Where everything is empty, there's no padding. Just you, the primary target, and the path to get there. It's such a beautiful concept, I see it so rarely, and it's amazing whenever I do.

@maxmustermann9036 1 year ago

I find it amazing that such a game even exists considering in what kind of environment it was developed. Back then, there was no indie scene like we know it now, hence this weird game came out as a AA(A) game looking absolutely amazing on the PS2.

SotC showed me that video games could be more than "just" fun, especially considering this was shortly after the glorious N64 era which felt so very different. After playing this, I hunted down ICO and ever since I am an the lookout for unique games.

The video talks about the story a lot and I just wanted to add that I was amazed by how the roles change in the ending. After feeling small and vulnerable before, now you are a colossus, now your actions are slow and sluggish and while you can overpower your foes by sheer might, they are quick and annoying. Brilliant twist because it makes you realize how these colossus felt being hunted down by you previously.

Also worth mentioning is the HUD. Compare it to other titles that came out during the time. You've got no numbers here, which is quite rare for a 2005 game. The HUD is placed far into the corners of the screen with muted colors. It's not diegetic, but it's different from what people were used to for such big games in 2005 and I wouldn't be surprised to hear that it influenced games like Dead Space with completely diegetic HUDs that are much more common now.

Playing this when it came out, what an experience! The sheer emotional weight of it I didn't experience again until much later into the emergence of indie games. It's not my favorite game (though it's close), but the impact it had on me is far bigger than that of any other game.

@swan-cloud 1 year ago

i think what often gets forgotten about sotc, especially since it's regarded as the "high art" game is just how much of a fun toy this game is.

i love the fact that you can use the physics to skip some bosses like using gaius's sword to slingshot yourself into his head or dropping down from a wing to another on avion.

i love the items in ng+ like the explosive arrow and the parachute, i love just walking around the map and watching the scenery.

i love this game in it's totality including it's silly parts, it's not afraid to be a game as well as an experience and that's why i hold it so dear.

@m00sician 1 year ago

I recently found this channel and I've been binging the videos for a few days now. Every video I've seen so far is great. Keep up the good work!

@Rpgmaniacdavid 1 year ago

When I was in 9th grade I got 4 molars removed in preparation for getting braces, and while doped out on what ever painkillers they gave me, I beat this game(on ps2) in a weekend. It will always remind me of the pain of having teeth removed and swallowing Kraft Mac and cheese without chewing it just to get something in my stomach.
Sorry for the random story, this video inspired me.
Great video thank you

@kevinthemurphy 6 months ago

I’ve just discovered your channel today, and I’m really enjoying your videos! SotC was one of those games that took over my life, at launch. It’s in my top ten of all time, for all the reasons you just mentioned.

And your video’s actually reminded me of another game that really stuck with me after I finished it: Braid. Without spoiling the game too much, it combines challenging puzzles with a mysterious narrative, unique art and music, and winds up touching on some of the same topics of grief, loss and acceptance.

Games can be some of the most impressive works of art, when they’re handled with this kind of care and intention. Thanks for reminding me why I fell in love with the medium.

@kangg2230 1 year ago

you are the single most underrated youtuber ive ever come across. you deserve all the views on youtube

@shards-of-glass-man 6 months ago (edited)

My core memory with Shadow of the Colossus was playing it late in the evening with my older brother watching and mock-parroting Wander every time he would call out to his steed, coming up with new names every time. Argo got to become Fargo, Margot, Lardo, and many other confidently incorrect horses.
Never thought that the game had strange controls though. Climbing and holding on was very intuitive to me.

@brittloves_ya548 11 months ago

i've always found it facinating how if we can overcome a hatred we usually end up loving that thing more than if we had just liked it in the first place

@artothegreat1319 1 month ago

I have quite a story to tell about this game, it's very personal to me.

At the beginning of my first relationship we drove to pick up Okami and got our hands on Ico by pure chance because the seller mentioned it and agreed to my lowball. We loved Ico and it became very important to us, over the 3 years of the relationship we made art of it and listened to the OST from both it and SotC during our car trips even though we never played the latter.

The relationship ended turbulently when her mental health worsened, she started doing drugs and eventually became addicted. We got back together for a while 2 years later but it was apparent we couldn't relate anymore. It took me a long time and heavy mental struggle to accept reality, cope with the events and stop hoping to recapture the past.

When I finally remembered about SotC and played it, for obvious reasons, it was surreal. I didn't know a single thing about this game other than the soundtrack. I still wonder whether similar experiences inspired Ueda. All in all, it was a perfect tool to help me grieve and close that chapter.

@scissors0009 1 year ago

I worked at Walmart when this game came out, and I had to stare at a case of them in the back hallway for 2 weeks before it came out. It has rested comfortably in my top 5 games of all time since, and I had the pleasure of watching a fresh player I introduced it to fall in love with it more than once.

It has that special air, that atmosphere that only a few games have ever exhibited; Metroid 3, Vagrant Story, Bloodborne, Returnal, maybe a precious few others.

Very special game.

@Rwarasaurus-2001Kitten 7 months ago

I always adore video games that are peices of artwork at their core; not teaching you but showing you so you can understand what lesson their trying to tell, and to use the video game genre as a medium rather than a setting with the mechanics being so integral to the understanding of the story is awe inspiring to me. Also love your videos they either put into words knew but couldn't, or allow me to experience a masterpeice that I otherwise wouldn't have :).

@jasonblalock4429 1 year ago

I remember how I was introduced to it. I'd bought something at my local Gamestop, and they had a bunch of old PS2 demo discs lying around so they were just tossing them in as freebies - including SOTC. So I get home and I'm messing with the demos, and the SOTC demo absolutely ENTHRALLED me. From the opening sequence through the first battle, I was hooked.

So I drove straight back to the Gamestop, only two hours later, because I HAD to buy it.

I don't even remember what it was I'd bought originally. I just remember discovering Colossus.

@martynsharman1735 10 months ago

Is there anything quite like that addiction to shadow of the colossus? I got everything in the game because I didn’t know how to let go of that world, and I can’t think of another piece of entertainment that has done that to me, and the music whilst you’re being dragged into the light? Might be the best part.

@eatatjoe 1 year ago

I love how I pictured Wander from Wander Over Yonder in my half-dazed sleepiness.

@Yesnomu 3 months ago

Man, I have to say, I can’t fault your old self that much. That colossus is absolutely the nadir of the game’s fights. But I’m glad you picked it back up again! What a work of art.

@Dafunco 1 year ago

Is really funny to see how many people dont know that you can mount the horse pressing R1 after jumping at him AJAJAJJAJAJAJA

@SuperVillain0utcast 2 months ago

I fell madly in love with this game. Spent HOURS roaming the world, climbing trees to eat fruit to increase my health, hunting white tailed lizards to increase my grip gauge large enough to be able to climb to the secret garden at the top of the temple. Praying at the feet of the ruined alters to beat the time attack modes to get secret items... the entire game is such a vibe. Wish they'd ported the new version to PC.