if you've ever asked yourself this too, i want to know: do you actually want a relationship, or did you just think you were supposed to? no wrong answer, i'm still figuring mine out

Hey Leighann,
I do think you do desire a relationship because you’ve spoken about the ache you have for it. If you really didn’t want one, the ache wouldn’t be something you speak about.
Thank you for making this video. I do believe it is brave for one to come online and speak about the ways they may be feeling a bit insecure because one thing or another is yet to be fulfilled in their lives. I’m 32 and also haven’t quite been in a relationship before.
You’ll forgive me for butting in with my opinion. The more you spoke, the more I saw you as a high achieving woman of faith. You’ve spoken about your masters, getting the job you’ve always desired, owning your own home. And then with dating; nothing. I’ll say that I think you may need a dating coach. Someone to teach you how to date. Someone who may help you come up with a strategy to date. This is something I didn’t consider I needed until I met a dating coach who spoke about how first, women who grew up in the church weren’t taught how to date (this me) and thus, how do you execute something you don’t know how to do? Moreover, you speak about how dating is also other person dependent, of which I agree with you. Yet, all the things you’ve achieved are also people dependent. Applying to your masters required someone to say yes to you, graduating too. Buying a home required someone to say yes to you. Even your dream job required someone to say yes to you. With dating, for some reason, feels so high stakes. I think a few things may need to change with how you’re approaching dating if you want to do something different.

So many christian or formerly christian women are in this situation. That's the common denominator in every "I've never had a partner" video I see online. I think there needs to be a conversation about how christian households don't properly prepare or train women how to date, how to have emotional and physical intimacy, or how to properly navigate a secular world. We are not equipped for modern dating.

I am 44 and i don’t want a romantic relationship.   I have been asked maybe someone hurt me.  Its not that at all.  It’s because i am that much more important than a relationship or a man.  I AM bigger than that program.   I also don’t think its fun or cool to compromise for a mate.

I didn’t meet my husband til I was 36. Started dating at 37. Engaged at 39. Married at 40. I got and aunt who married in her 70s! One sister from my old church got married in her 60s. It definitely can still happen later in life.

Hey sis, idk how you feel about input so feel free to ignore this. But the most practical advice I can give is:

1. Figure out the type of man you want

2. Figure out the type of partner you want to be and your boundaries

3. Find out what the type of man you desire wants, and work on developing your skills and qualities to become more competitive.


Because people have choices dating is in its nature competitive, just like jobs, school, homes, etc. they can only chose one, and so can you. You have proven you already know how to complete based on your really cool accomplishments (congratulations btw, you're impressive). But figure out what you need to work on to be a competitive dater. And what makes you a competitive employee, homeowner, YouTuber doesn't always make you a competitive dater, so work on stuff that the men you like, like.

your vulnerability and candor is so refreshing!! kudos to you for creating a safe space for so many women to participate in this conversation. platonic love can be just as fulfilling and beautiful as romantic love and i truly hope more women are open to the idea of treating themselves and pouring into their friendships rather than waiting for a romantic partner to fulfill those needs.

The beginning of the video just helped me confirm that I’m am indeed Ace / gray ace

Girl, I'll be 30 in two months and I have also never been in a relationship or intimate with a man. Never been on dates or had a first kiss either. In my humble opinion since you live alone and have privacy I think you're better off staying single and just taking care of your own needs by owning adult toys at this point. At least I would if I had the privacy but I just endure my own frustrations and keep those feelings buried inside hiding those feelings because that's what was instilled in my brain from a young age. I know it's not healthy but I really don't know what else I could do.

I’m 32 and single I understand deeply it sucks but don’t worry when your not looking it will happen I have hope for the both of us ! You’re educated and financially stable and beautiful those are amazing qualities any man would want !

I can relate with you so much. I'm 27 and haven't even kissed yet. Lol Tho I have had one boyfriend.
But in regards to finding a partner I think, like with anything we want, we have to actively keep trying. Maybe try some avenues we never considered before. While of course being safe and smart about it all.

And of course we shouldn't be desperate. But we need to be intentional in our actions.
But of course if it doesn't happen we should still be content with that.
It's still okay to be sad. Still okay to be disappointed. Feel these feelings, work through them. Go at your own pace. You're not racing anybody.
Everyone has their own story.
I know you've heard it all before, but just wanting to send something encouraging. ❤

I’m a little younger than you, but I feel the same way. I’m honestly not sure if I want relationship but as I’ve gotten older and into my 30s, I realize that it’s been really tough to maintain relationships. Everyone else around me is getting married or partner to having babies and I am still kind of in the same place dating wise where it’s just like not happening for me. I also have been struggling with the notion that platonic love can be just as good because I don’t really have close friends and I don’t have close family so I really don’t have many people to spend my time with. I’ve honestly been hurt more in friendships than in dating recently. I would say I spend like 95% of my time alone and it’s really hard sometimes.

Hey Leighann, I'm a latebloomer too. I was 29 when I moved out of my parents house. I only had 1 boyfriend until that time and that relationship was very shortlived. We were young (teenagers). I never registered for a house so I had a hard time finding one. The appartmentcomplex where I moved to is where I met my now husband. I'm 52 now. It might help if you didn't focus on it and talk about it so much. Like when people want a baby so badly and it only happens when they stop obsessing over it. I also think not everybody will meet someone. Like you say it's fate/destiny. Love is something we don't have control over. I do hope and think you will find someone special. Good luck with everything you do and take care. 🙏❤️

if  was you i would try to find  friend or activities partner...
keep it light..
dont put pressure on yourself.

Similarly, I'm an MSW, successful career, homeowner, and chronically single and abstinent. At 39, I have never been in a real/long-term relationship. I'm perpetually the single friend in my circle, single coworker, single sibling, single cousin, etc. I date here and there, but it just never goes anywhere, rarely ever making it past a fourth date.

My mom somehow also still has faith in me, not only somehow ending up in a great relationship and marriage, but also having children. I'm not as optimistic and am giving myself until 40 before I throw in the towel and give up on dating completely.

While I do desire a healthy, loving, happy, and mutually supportive relationship, I just seem to be incompatible with the modern dating market. And I've accepted that.

New Threads friend here 🎉 Girl that question about whether you actually want a relationship or just feel like you should want one?! Whew 😭 That’ll make you sit with yourself for a minute lol. I love that you’re giving yourself the grace to just date, experience it, and figure out what you actually want without putting a timeline on yourself. ❤️ I definitely subscribed and looking forward to more of your content!

I've always been an introvert and shy. The men that approach me are outside of an age range i would consider, dont have the same interest, or don't follow up. Maybe one day but I'll be okay if i dont get married.  I don't want kids. I'm not sure if i want to live with someone else either.

Im in the same boat

Real talk, everyone wants a relationship, we're made for that bond.
 "Not happening doesn't mean it won't happen."  Put yourself out there more. Sometimes, you have to make the first (scary) move and also know how vet a person .

The fact that so many 30 year olds have never been in a relationship ever is so concerning and honestly heartbreaking. Being in a relationship is not about being in a relationship. It's about experiencing one of the most powerful, challenging and beautiful types of love that no parent, no friend and no pet could ever give you. People who say "you're not missing out" are being so dishonest. Because even if it ends badly, none of us who have been in one relationship or more would ever trade these experiences, the feeling, the connection and that magic for... Well, nothing. Good luck yall.