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Why Everyone Around You Seems Richer Than You

Family Wealth

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Why does it sometimes feel like everyone around you is getting richer?

The new car. The bigger house. Private schools. Overseas holidays. Business-class flights.

But there is an important difference between looking wealthy and actually being wealthy.

In this video, Hardi Swart CFP® from Family Wealth Custodians explores five reasons why everyone around you may seem richer than you and why comparing your financial life with someone else's lifestyle can quietly damage your own wealth.

We look at:

• Why spending is easily confused with wealth
• How debt allows people to borrow tomorrow's lifestyle
• Why social media completely distorts financial comparison
• Why some people genuinely are wealthier and why that shouldn't change your plan
• Why knowing what "enough" means may be one of the most important financial decisions you make

And for South Africans approaching retirement, this becomes even more important.

Eventually, the question isn't whether you looked wealthy.

It's whether you've built enough wealth to fund the life you actually want.

If you're approaching retirement and wondering whether you have enough, speak to the team at Family Wealth Custodians about building a retirement plan around your life, your family and your numbers.

Subscribe for practical conversations about money, investing and retirement in South Africa.

Question for you: What is the ONE thing that makes you look at someone and immediately think, "They must have money"?

00:00 Why does everyone seem richer than you?
01:08 1. We confuse spending with wealth
03:58 2. Debt lets us borrow tomorrow's lifestyle
05:12 3. You're comparing yourself to everyone's highlights
07:32 4. Sometimes they actually are richer than you
10:09 5. You don't know what "enough" looks like
11:33 Do you actually have enough?

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Disclaimer: This video is for educational purposes only and does not constitute personal financial advice. Please consult a licensed financial planner or tax practitioner before making any decisions.

20 Comments

@FamilyWealthSA Creator 1 month ago Pinned

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@neegee3755 1 month ago

I live in a complex with 3 bed duplexes just over a million rand . I drive a normal car nothing serious and I work with people who live in Estates with the lowest house costs R5m and they drive BMW cars. I have clear skin, healthy hair, my blood work came back clear and I could survive for the next 12 months without any income with the savings I have . I’m grateful I stopped chasing bigger

@iwasunknown 1 month ago

Stay humble, don't chase greed and live life in faith and be grateful 🙏

@SteveCraig92 1 month ago

I spoke to someone the other day at a restaurant of similar age to me, 2 young kids like me driving super fancy car and living in simbithi (super nice estate in Ballito)

I have a fairly decent paying job and living life within my means, comfortably but not flashy by any means. My wife and I both work and this guy at the restaurant had a stay at home wife.

After a couple of beers asked what he does to afford and maintain this and he told me he doesn’t waste money on insurance and medical aid 😂I laughed and said okay bud good chat 😂

@rosstheboss1294 1 month ago

Modest 3 mil house?? Apparently everyone around me is richer!

@UpperCaseBackSpace 1 month ago (edited)

Being rich and looking rich are too different things. Having money makes you rich, spending it doesn't.
Also, wealth is relative. If you grew up poor, you don't need excessive amounts of money to feel rich.

@eldrismaster9898 1 month ago

I always joke around and say if you see someone at the McDonald's or KFC drive through with that beautiful new BMW/merc they can't afford that car.

@Hesavedmeamen 1 month ago

The Bible says that those who compare themselves amongst themselves are not wise!

@stu1944 1 month ago

We need to fix being taxed to death in South Africa for real its a pain

@nicklinder2153 1 month ago

This video honestly hit me differently after reading The Forbidden Laws Of The Ruling Few by Aven Marclay. Some of the information in that book genuinely shocked me, especially the way it explains why certain people seem to keep getting ahead while others stay trapped in the same financial patterns. I started applying some of the ideas to my own life instead of just consuming more advice, and I’m already noticing how differently I think about money, opportunity, and the people around me. It made me realize that sometimes the biggest disadvantage isn’t your income — it’s what you’ve been conditioned to believe is possible.

@MosesMatsepane 1 month ago

He called all of us poor indirectly by saying a R3million rand house is “modest”. Reminds of that Nandos ad where the minister moved into a “modest home”, but it was actually a mansion. 😂😂

@simonvandermolen9964 1 month ago

Once one gets compound interest working for you, instead of against you, you are half way there...

@pieterrossouw8596 1 month ago

Noticed a dynamic when moving from JHB to CPT. In Johannesburg I saw many more middle-class buy way more expensive cars than they could actually afford. When I came to Cape Town, I met people who earn a lot more, yet drive a 10+ year old Japanese sedan that's in good condition but far from flashy. The difference in mindset was stark, Johannesburg is not a happy place for most of its residents - you gotta pay to do anything nice, it's likely going to be indoors and you'll need to drive to it, you often don't do things alone because it's not safe, lots of people spend most of their time at home or travelling to places they have to be like work or school run - so they pay a lot for the car that gets them there, I think emotionally it makes them feel better about their surroundings. In Cape town, you can go to quite affordable or free things that are amazing... the car that gets you there is irrelevant to the experience. Yes the property and rent is more expensive due to demand, but entertainment is cheaper. So as long as a car is safe, reliable and best of all paid off, that's 10/10. Maybe it's just my experience, but it's been pretty consistent; people in Cape town don't care what you drive - they asked where you've gone and what you've done.

@Razza2250 1 month ago

Watching this in Australia and it's still 100% accurate (once you convert the currency and replace Mauritius with Bali). So many people need to hear this but simply do not want to

@Petrus-j7p 1 month ago

Married 2 daughters. Stay in a 2 bed 2 bathroom house. Own 3 cars 1 with only 8000km on the clock. Feel poor to the area I live in but we have no debt at all. Been without work now for 5 months and it's no issue because we always lived below our budget. People get rid of your debt asap.

@alexdhutanu 1 month ago (edited)

I lived în UK, Australia, NZ and struggle with the fake smiles and talking around the bush culture. Love the straight talking of the South Africans, not sure why they are different but no complaints.

@Vicaria321 1 month ago (edited)

A 3 bar house is not modest...outside cape town at least. But we get it, and the point about someone around you suddenly getting rich making you feel poor is valid. I know someone is rich if they are at all the school activities..the cost of not working is only for the very richest and the destitute.

@steven1000000000 1 month ago

I've got 4 properties and interest in 8. I earn a very good sallary, but bought a 2nd hand car this week for R50k as a backup. With a lot of monthly overhead it's not easy, but I know that one day I'll be fine. It may not be visible wealth, but I don't care about other people's opinion. I've known enough people over the years who projected serious wealth, only for it to come creashing down at some point. Comparison is the theif of joy.

@Hag_force 1 month ago

I’m European, so a slightly different market. But I have spent over 10 years working as a data scientist in both the national tax authorities and also in a major bank. I have seen the hard data for all the finances for a population of millions and have studied it in detail. Your main point is entirely correct, most people fuel their lifestyle by constantly taking on more and more debt.

@bradwoolridge3727 3 weeks ago

In the USA they did a search many years ago for real wealth. What they found was that the middle class who lived quietly under the radar were actually the wealthy element of society. Same point, the flashy are generally not wealthy. They have expenses not assets. Both debits btw. One is just a lot heavier than another.