Imagine getting to tell someone that you killed yourself and lived

4:06 "and if you can get red suits and golden scissors, couldn't you have at least gotten your husband a pair of glasses?" asking the real questions now

“so i wondered.”
literally calls the military base asking about a movie

i cant stop laughing at how when the person gets on a plane and out of the county, i just imagine the tether just running underground at an unreasonable speed to catch up

Imagine you’re a military receptionist, just sitting at your desk, pretty boring day, and then some dude calls you and says “Ok, so there’s this movie...”

Tether: pulls out scissors
Me: pulls out rock

The secret to beat the Tethered is to make them flirt with June Guys girl. Then June Guy will ascend and use his godlike powers to whipe them from earth.

The solution:

Unleash the June Man

Herald on google: can we survive by drinking someone else’s blood?

FBI: excuse me wtf

Area 51 may have plasma guns and aliens, but we have June Guy

Nahhh, they die by themselves by running with scissors...

Just watched the film, and I realized a lot of people are like “it’s such a dumb plan, it makes no sense” well yeah you all forget Red (the one kidnapped) was literally six, and had no education after being with the tethered. I agree with the confusion on how the plan was implanted, but in terms of the plan, yeah seems  like a six year old’s plan.

"The Tethered share the same skillset as their surface doubles."
"This video is sponsored by skillshare."
I see what you did there.

If Red's parents were just better parents everyone would be alive

Tethered: create a hands across America event for real

Tethered in the water: [ INTENSE DROWNING NOISES ]

Here's an idea: Watch your children.
The whole reason Red got kidnapped by her tether is because she wandered off and got lost in a mirror maze. If her parents had just kept their eyes on her, the movie would've been just a few minutes long.

Bro just throw rocks. Rocks beats scissors. Easy win.

as a june man i can confirm if someone flirts with my girl i get double the crippling depression

Mine would be like
"I don't feel like invading the surface, I'll do it tomorrow."

If someone's top speed is the same as yours then as long as you have a headstart they won't catch you until you get tired. And if your stamina is the same too, then you'll both get tired at the same time.