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STOP The Cycle: Non-Negotiables for Saving Your Marriage | The Affair Recovery Podcast | Ep. 002

Affair Recovery

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When infidelity strikes, the question becomes: Can my marriage survive? And if so, how do we save it? In Episode 2, our experts discuss the incredible strength and resilience it takes to fight for a marriage after betrayal.

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In Episode 2 you will:
We tackle cultural assumptions like, "once a cheater, always a cheater?" and "If you stay, are you just weak?"
Are kids enough of a motivator to stay?
Is this marriage worth keeping when one party refuses to change?
Can a marriage truly be better after all of this?

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

13 Comments

@shannongobin 7 months ago

Choice, the betrayed has no good choice. You stay, you are with the one who hurt you, and you leave, you lose your life. You are put in a no win situtation no matter what, and you didn't blow up the marriage.

@hawoo007 8 months ago

Thank you so much for this. As a betrayer, I’m learning more and more from each video from you guys. Rick spoke perfectly when he said “I don’t blame my wife for wanting to be divorced from me, I would too. But I’m stuck with me”, unbelievably relatable. I’m still praying for the hope that my marriage survives but regardless, I must put in the work and become the person God has called me to be and become someone I would even want to be with. That’s key. A constant reminder to put on the shoes of my wife is key. That’s probably been the biggest lesson out of all of this, putting her first - at last. Thank you again and God bless you all. I pray I’ll have a miraculous testimony to share.

@jayman6905 7 months ago

Once a cheater always a cheater is true for the cheaters who don't stay to repair the person they hurt and change. Those who are cowardly run off with the AP or leave are always going to be cheaters from that day forward their past does define them if they refuse to change and take accountability

@katiepatterson4695 5 months ago

My husband stopped denying it a year ago but now nothing is changing. I know feel like how long till I find out again.

@saral6642 9 months ago

Something ive never really seen answered in any of these sorts of videos is this... if you're in thr place where you're trying to work through it, but you are in a place where you don't even want to touch the unfaithful, how do you coexist? What are the conversations? Especially if hes still.in the shame and defensive when you bring up anything that dredges it up. I dont want to fight or ignore each other but it feels like we can't get in the middle while we navigate this

@KhassiaK 9 months ago (edited)

@AffairrecoveryLLC Can we please talk about the following?
1) How the legal system punishes betrayeds who choose to stay & try to save the marriage and recognize it as 'condoning' the infidelity?
2) The impact of a trauma bond on a betrayed's ability to heal, re-individuate & break free?
3) Considerations where 'staying for the kids' can actually do more harm than good due to the exposure to a toxic environment and negative influence/modeling

@pg5660 4 months ago

I'm dealing with hurt, anger and bitterness while trying to love my husband who had an affair for about 9 months. He says he's trying to "work on our marriage. " I don't feel the love in that statement. 😢

@markschuller8590 3 months ago

I would say if they would tell the truth!!!!

@Ab.s_93 3 months ago

I found out my wife of 14 years is having an affair with her boxing coach. I approached her about it she said they’ve done things but nothing physical. Anyhow she is moving out by her choice and wants a divorce. We have 3 kids. It takes 2 people wanting to make a marriage work. I’ll continue to grow and learn how we got to this point. I forgive her and I hope the best for her.

@doubletroublephillycheeses1395 6 months ago

Are any of your programs FSA eligible?

@abelbuyno6386 3 months ago

I am a betrayer. I do love my fiancé so much. I have struggled with lust and pornography for a long time. I kissed her sister and asked for other things but there was no sex or anything like that. She can't belive me or the sister. But I do believe God is putting me through this because I was unfaithful. We also have a 2 year old daughter who is so great to and for both of us. But we were engaged only 3 months of talking and we had a baby about 9 months later. I don't deserve my fiancé but I need her.

@IvanWascom 9 months ago (edited)

I found out the hard way I knew something was wrong I caught my wife having a emotional affair which led to meet ups and kissing and to think what bothers me the most was when I confronted her about the affair was she told me she did not regret what they did together and what happened that she is still in love with him but wants to try to fix things with me and see if she can love me again I don’t know what to do

@lnm2020 3 weeks ago (edited)

Regarding the question the woman had as to what the Bible says about divorce, Matthew 19:3-9 is where Jesus says that if you divorced your spouse except on the grounds of immortality/fornication then you would be committing adultery if they then married or had relations with someone else. So, in the case of immorality if the betrayed partner chose to divorce and marry another person, they would not be committing adultery because the marriage bond was broken by the unfaithful mate. Now, that doesn't mean you can't repair the marriage obviously, but as far as what the scriptures say you don't have to feel like you're doing something wrong if you divorce after your spouse committed sexual immortality.